Forever and a Day

I know you're probably sick of just seeing me post thoughts etc on here. I wish things were different. I wish I wrote more, I wish I had time, but I'll be honest: I'm currently trying to recoup from about a years worth of burning out from studying something I grew to despise and as a result relapsing pretty heavily with depression.

I checked myself into psychiatry, I've been meeting with a therapist. 2018 wasn't shaping up to be a good year for me.

Things are sort of better now. I'm trying not to put myself on a timeline just yet because I still have a couple weeks until this term is over and I have to move still, but writing should be a little more at the forefront of my mind in the near future. I wish I didn't take this break, that I could keep my promises about a writing schedule but I had to do damage control to not fall apart.

Honestly the fact you all put up with my is beyond amazing and I'm really thankful you've all supported my writing. I'm gonna post a short chapter of Dahlia and hopefully get a bit more written in the near future. I didn't want to say all this as an author's note so I'm just posting it separately.

Thank you for sticking it out with me.

A heart, thrashing violently against the walls of an empty cavern

Not unlike the chimpanzee rattling the bars of a circus cage.

The mind, drowning itself in thoughts like the ring master throws back five, six, no – seven shots of whatever’s strongest.

Because the circus is failing. Environmentalists? Prevailing.

And no one wants to watch something while it falls apart.

Now,

Close your eyes.

Turn around.

An eight year old girl squeals as she runs up to the enclosure.

The same chimp, more space, still trapped and never free,

Because the thing about cages is that they aren’t always physical.

Sometimes there just isn’t anything to save.

No one asked for poetry but in case y'all ever wonder what I write when I'm not fiction writing, it's mostly stuff like this. Anyway, enjoy.

y'all I love pentagon and like Hui is my long time bias in the group but he looks shorter than usual? Like I know he isn't the tallest but he looks about the same height as E'dawn in the new video (Shine, check it out) and I'm pretty sure he's taller

I've written quite a bit that isn't on my masterlist. I do intend to update this but for those of you looking for a particular story I do tag everything with its title so if you search my blog for #nameoffichere you should be able to find it! I mention this mostly for the recent chapters of Sinister and all of Dahlia!

Well, hi y’all. I’ll probably delete this later but I want to let you all know what’s going on in my life because it’s kind of majorly affected me over the past few months in ways I hadn’t really imagined happening to me. 

So for starters in case y’all don’t know, I’m a third year engineering student, or rather was a third year engineering student. After about three consecutive terms of just massive burn out I’ve decided I probably shouldn’t keep working toward a goal I’m not passionate about. 

As a result I’ve decided to pursue Journalism professionally. Which is a major change to my entire life and what I’ve told myself I should be doing since high school purely because I was good at it. Anyway, I’m switching my major to English with an option in writing so that’s going to be a shift but I’m excited and terrified all at once. 

On the bright side I’m going to be writing a lot more and hopefully posting more and just generally not being too exhausted to exist outside of school/work. If any of you ever need to just chat about things like that or are curious about more of that story feel free to message me.

Busy week, but hopefully updates.