Too Asexy...

I’ve modified some of my ring designs and I’m going to print a bunch of prototypes in as many different materials as possible to help people figure out which material is best for them. 

The catch: I hate having 20+ size 7 rings floating around for months until someone happens to need the exact ring I already have printed.

The solution: You can pre-order a ring in whatever random size you want with a $5 discount (10-20% discount for dice and my other stuffs) and a reduced shipping charge, but the rings will be ordered on a set date a few weeks out and sent to myself first so I can take product photos. I’ll then pack up all the rings and/or dice and send them to you guys.

I’ve already done at least one print of each design, so I know the designs print well and show up, so you don’t need to worry about getting horrible prints with patterns that don’t show up.

The pictures in this listing are actually the prototypes I just had printed :)

I’ll order the rings and all my other test prints on Jan, 21, so if you want to get in on this madness, just let me know before then :)

That means you probably won’t get your rings/dice/whatever to mid-late February. 

[keep reading for more info and links that may be helpful]

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head. 

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away. 

So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out. 

It took me about a half hour to get down with practice, but once you get it, it’s an intuitive movement.

When in fact, it still fucks you up, just in a much subtler way.

Conservative Christians are actually obsessed with sex. It’s no wonder, because sexual feelings are a natural part of the human experience for many people. You have to work hard to do away with something that is a natural part of you. You have to shove it into a little box and every time it slips out (cause it will, you’re human) you have to shove it back in. And then beat yourself up for letting it slip out.

It becomes this mystical force that will ruin your life, unless you let it out at the right time. When there’s a ring on it and not a moment before. Unless of course you’re attracted to the same sex, and in that case, Never.

Everyone knows that puberty is when sexual awakening starts. And if parents want to nip it in the bud they have to stay on top of that shit, and this is the time when most teenagers start considering sex. If you’re a “normal” sexual individual starting to get those urges, you have to sneak around your parents boundaries to pursue or even learn about this stuff. Your parents know that, and are waiting around corners to catch you with promise rings and pamphlets about STDs and passages in the Bible that say “don’t have sex”.

When you’re asexual, you’re watching all this from the outside. You see your peers sneaking round corners, and you don’t really care. When you were twelve your parents said “don’t have sex!” and you said “Ok!” and went back to drawing dragons. Nothing has changed since you became a teenager. But your parents are watching you with hawk eyes, and they’re even more frustrated when they see you showing no interest in sex at all. EVERYONE has sexual urges they have to curb, so you must just be really good at hiding it. So they watch you closer and closer and closer. You saunter round the corner your peers would be sneaking round, and your parents pop out and scream “Were you having sex!?” and you scream “No?!” because you were startled by this ambush and the idea of sex that couldn’t be farther from your mind but they take your vehement denial to be a sign of guilt and they keep pressing and pressing and pressing…

It gets even weirder when you’re assigned female. Cause you can say “I don’t have sexual feelings at all” and your mother will say “you’re a woman, of course you don’t. No woman does.” But they’re still waiting round those corners for you to slip up and do the sex. And they give you this picture of the future that “you’re a woman and you don’t want sex, but men NEED sex they NEED IT SO BAD so it’s something you’re going to have to do to keep your man happy”. If you’ve got a somewhat progressive mother she’ll add, “don’t worry, you’ll love it you’ll have so much fun once you’re married” to keep it from becoming a creepy lay-back-and-think-of-England thing, but it still becomes this thing that people will do TO you. You don’t need to have feelings at all on the matter, it’ll just happen.

Not to mention there’s the idea that marriage is the highest of achievements cause like, God is both male and female so when a male and a female marry they are basically the closest to God they’re ever gonna get. It’s ultimate happiness AND you FINALLY get to have the sex that’s been denied you and how on earth does a kid tell their parents they don’t want what is, for them, the greatest prize in this life?

All these messages are weird as fuck for an asexual kid. You don’t really care about this mystical force, but your parents, your pastor, your church peers, are always shoving it in your face as something awful and wonderful. So you get the idea that it’s something super important you never got the memo for. Just like in mainstream society, where sex is the Best Thing Ever, no one believes you when you say you don’t want it.

I never expected her to be overjoyed I was professing my not being heteronormative, but I didn’t expect her to be upset that I didn’t want to have sex to begin with. I realized during that conversation the only way to make her happy would be to really really want sex and restrain myself, because the point is apparently isn’t simply not having sex.

Before that conversation, I just assumed she’d be cool with it (relatively speaking) because I wasn’t telling her I was gay or pregnant or whatever other random thing (I am absolutely not trying to say say being gay or getting pregnant out of wedlock is bad, I’m just saying my Granny might stop speaking to me if that were the case...). It was an admittedly interesting new perspective that I got that I most definitely didn’t expect when I called her out of the blue to profess my asexuality.

wanting and not wanting at the same time

at the first family reunion I went to after coming out as ace, I was terrified for what they might say or do or think.  that side of my family is pretty liberal, and a lot of the cousins on that side are LGBT, but still, because of all the ace discourse going on, I wasn’t sure if all the LGBT cousins would support my asexuality or not.

so a few days into the vacation, I’m sitting at a table lost in thought when one of my cousins comes over and sits down next to me.  He was the first one in our family to come out: the Elder Queer, if you will.  we got to talking about LGBT labels, and I told him I’d been getting some hate mail for being ace and wanting to call myself a part of the LGBT community.

he looked SHOCKED.  honestly.  he stared at me and demanded to know who was excluding me and what made them think they could do that!  I told him about the ace discourse and he said the most beautiful thing I have ever heard anyone say to me about my asexuality.

he said: “Well don’t listen to them.  You totally matter, and asexual is a totally valid identity.”