the piss drrrroplets hit the fucking earth

I think the bpal beeswax note is just not going to work for me… I finally finished testing all the Lupercalia samples I got and the only one that didn’t turn into that weird sour hershey chocolate smell after a few hours was the one without beeswax (in praise of love)

I’ve been slowly assembling itabag materials for like 3 months and between con purchases and me finally figuring out how to use my badge maker I think I have enough to start assembling the damn thing

throwback to the time an ABC friend introduced me to some of his mainlander friends and they were like what’s your chinese name :) and I pronounced it my usual way and they were like you know, I saw a video about a tribe in vietnam who eat raw fish and don’t wear clothes :) and spent the rest of the evening playing overcooked, which is called breakup kitchen in mandarin

my former comrades were and still are frequently referred to as a “cult” or “cult of personality” and while I think I have some better perspective on it now that I’m away from them, I’m still not completely sure what people mean by that. over the years there were a few attempts from outside people to win me over, warn me, but they were all coming at it with the assumption that I had a “colonial white master/meek asian servant that just needs a little push to be more appropriately assertive” relationship with the group, which was and still is pretty offensive frankly. I’ve never done a single ounce of what leftists would consider productive labor for them, and this was all happening during a time of life where I was such a ball of suspicious aggressive energy that my professors said working with me was like trying to tame a feral cat. being a meek little servant was not the problem at all. and the people trying to free me were coming at it with this air of disgust at me for tolerating their own made-up scenarios, even as they praised the strength and ingenuity of the hypothetical Proletariat who puts up with similar nonsense

turns out the solution to “will readers care about a story that revolves around saving the lives of morally repugnant people” was to just let that conflict infect the story itself and become part of it and push it to places that aren’t possible if you believe certain things on good people are in bad taste

sometimes the tumblr mature content filter is completely wrong, sometimes it flags a movie edit that’s technically not sexual but it’s screen caps from some elaborate metaphor for sex and it’s like ok sure I can’t even be mad