You've been in love with your roomate Satoru for a while now, like really down bad and the fact that he flirts with you makes your crush on him even worse, but he's a fuckboy, you're not special and it hurts whenever you hear moans coming from his room almost every single night.
Warnings: Female reader, non canon au, angst, hurt with comfort, mention of sex but no sex scene, mention of body insecurity, jealousy, fluff
A/N: I tried to do smut the other day but it is definitely not my thing.
Initially you weren't supposed to be Satoru Gojo's roommate, the dorms were separated by genders, so you had a female roommate before she moved and apparently in the male dorms there was no space for Satoru, and since you had an empty spot they put him in your dorm.
That didn't bother you at all, as long as your roommate, male or female, was responsible and didn't throw trash everywhere it wasn't a problem to you.
But his presence did become a problem after a few weeks, not for a bad reason, you completely fell in love, stupidly in love.
He was so nice and flirty to you, as much as you wanted to act annoyed by his attitude it only made your heart beat faster and faster.
Though it wasn't long after that you discovered who Satoru Gojo was, a complete fuckboy, after not even two months since he moved in, he started to bring random girls to the dorm at night and fuck with them.
You knew he did simply cause their moans were overwhelming, you could barely sleep at nights.
But them being annoying was the last of the reasons why you wanted him to stop doing that, it was hard, really hard, to see the guy you're head over heels for fuck other girls with no break, a good percentage of those nights you didn't sleep were because you were crying yourself ugly.
What made things even worse is that after those nights you would always wake up to Satoru already making breakfast for the both of you, the girl nowhere to be seen and he just had to flirt with you.
A thought that practically infested your head is why didn't he do that with you too? You're a girl and you're literally his roommate, he could have you at any moment so why didn't he want you?
And following that came the worse scenario, feeling insecure, you had seen the girls he brought home, he seems to have a pretty specific type - mini skirts, top that showed almost all the cleavage, heavy makeup.. you weren't a big fan of those type of clothing and heavy makeup, usually you would wear oversized hoodies, jeans and barely any makeup, maybe that's why he doesn't find you attractive?
Or maybe it's because he thinks you're too fat? It has happened before that Satoru has seen you in tighter clothes, clothes that show more of your body, you didn't have the whole package that those girls have in their chest and ass, or a completely flat stomach.
To be honest, you have been eating a lot more lately, and you were sure you gained some weight, maybe he noticed that?
You hated that you were feeling this way because of a man who probably just sees you as his roommate and nothing more, you did spend some time together at times, but as just friends, watch movies and play videogames, but with distance between the two of you of the couch.
You were sure you weren't the one making that distance, it was him, whenever you would sit just a bit too close he could sit a little further, sometimes these gestures were small but you noticed them right away.
It's currently afternoon and you've just finished your classes, before returning to the form you passed back a pastry shop and brought a few sweets for you and Satoru, you got him kikufuku since it's his favorite.
When you opened the front door you were met with soft two soft laughers, one unmistakably Satoru's while the other one seemed like it belonged to a woman.
So now he even brings them home during the day?
Unlucky, they weren't in Satoru's room, but in the living room, sitting close enough that their knees were touching, something he would never let happen with you.
He turned around to face you, he wasn't bothered that you might have interrupted something, he smiled at you, like always.
While the girl, she simply gave you glace, you couldn't read what her expression said.
"Hey roomie, how did your classes go?" His back was now facing the girl.
"They went.. ok" You made your way to the kitchen and placed down the bag from the pastry shop, opening the fridge and putting the stuff you got him inside, you didn't wanna say you got him anything, maybe that girl was his girlfriend, he has never brought home the same girl twice.
The conversation between Satoru and the girl went on, like you weren't even there, you didn't want to be there anyways, you went to your room, closed the door as gently as possible and threw yourself on the bed.
Like you suspected, the ache in your heart started to grow and eyes started to water, tears fell slowly from your eyes to your chin, this was ridiculous, he didn't want you so why did you continue to hurt.
After crying for a few minutes but felt like an eternity you heard the front door open and close then a few noises coming from the kitchen, you guessed the girl left and Satoru was looking for something to eat.
Not even a whole minute later there was a knock on your door. "Hey roomie, are you asleep?" His voice was soft, it was almost soothing.
"Uhm no I'm awake, is there anything wrong?"
The handle of the door slowly moved and the door pushed forward, he peaked his head inside, a smile appearing on his face as soon as he saw you layed on the bed.
"I just wanted to say thank you for the kikufuku" His hand raised, showing you the box of kikufuku you got him.
You forced on a smile, like you weren't crying your soul out just a few minutes ago. "Ah yeah don't worry"
There was a moment of silence, you thought he would just leave but it looked like he was thinking about what to say next. "Uh are you free tomorrow afternoon? We could watch a movie or something"
His question caught you a bit off guard, usually you would be the one to ask for a movie night, you wanted to say but your thought about the girl again, will she get mad if she found out you and Satoru were watching movies together?
Plus if you and Satoru keep on doing things like that you will never accept the reality of things.
"No, I have a date" You lied, you should've come up with a more credible lie, but that was your plan, what other way to forget a crush that will never look at you that way than to go on dates, maybe you will find another man.
Satoru's face completely changed, now it showed confusion and a tiny bit of anger? You weren't sure why he would be angry about that, he fucked girls every single night, why would it be a problem if you had a date for once?
"A date you say?" You nodded your head, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "In all these months we've been roommates I don't think I've ever seen you go on dates or bring guys here, I'm surprised."
He stepped completely into your room, placing the box of kikufuku on your bed as he sat down on the edge. "And tell me what kind of guy is he?" You just hoped he didn't notice how hot your cheeks felt, this was probably one of the longest conversations you've ever had with Satoru and why the heck was he so interested in your fake date.
"Well uh.. I meet him outside of campus in a bar downtown, he offered me a coffee and uhm he's really sweet yes" You were embarrassed at how cliche it sounded.
He stared at you for a few seconds before sighing and rubbing the back of his neck. "He offered you coffee uh? Well as a man I telling you to be careful, a lot of man just want to use women for their own sexual satisfaction and don't really care about their feelings"
You raised an eyebrow at his advice. "Don't you bring girls over like.. almost every night?" Oops maybe it was better to shut up.
To your surprise he laughed. "Yes, I do but the difference between me and those guys is that I make clear I only want sex, I don't trip girls into thinking I want a relationship or something, while those guys just act all nice and sweet, have sex with you then leave without a trace, that's why I'm telling you to be careful"
The fact you completely made up the date thing made this conversation a bit awkward but since you were planning on going to dates, this advice wasn't gonna go unheard. "Heh thank you Gojo, I appreciate your advice, I promise I will be careful.
He gave you a wide smile, patting your shin through the sheets, although his skin wasn't directly touching yours, you felt like you were about to explode, this conversation needed to end as soon as possible before inconvenient things come out of your mouth.
"Please, you can call me Satoru, it's not a problem, don't worry" He stood up from the bed, grabbed the box and exited the room, closing the door behind him, while you were left a blushing mess on the bed.
What was that? It's the first time Satoru has ever told you about calling him by his first name, first name basis? Long conversation? touched you? What was up with him today?
That same night, you downloaded a dating up, it was embarrassing to be honest, you were sure Satoru didn't need a dating up to have so many hook ups but you weren't him after all.
You spent the next thirty minutes switching left, until the profile of a guy came up, he looked pretty handsome, his was Markus and be had your same age too, you looked down at his bio, seems like he goes to your same university as well, his hobbies are reading and gardening, he seemed like a sweet guy.
Only a few seconds after you switched right a notification popped on your screen, you have a match.
Your heartbeat immediately increased, it's still the first time ever you're doing something like this.
You and Markus spent almost all night texting, like you thought he was really sweet and respectful, at the end you both decided to meet tomorrow afternoon at a cafe, just perfect, at the same time you told Satoru you will be having a date, at least now you won't have to fake it.
The next day, at around 12:45 pm you were at the front door, checking if you had everything in your purse to go, Satoru came out of his room, shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose sweatpants and visible black boxers, his eyes immediately fell on you and your short sundress.
"Going on the date?" You glazed up at him for barely a second, just nodding your head in a response. "Mmh, okay, be careful and have fun"
You didn't know whatever to find Satoru strange interest in your date annoying or not but what you knew was that you were going on this date to forget about him so you weren't going to let him infest your mind again, plus you did like Markus a little.
When you arrived at the cafe, met Markus and talked for a bit, your worse fear came true, maybe through text he was using some kind of auto responder or something because he boring, but you didn't give up, after a few hours of hanging around you both walked back to your dorm.
Where for your horrible luck, there she was, on the couch sitting even closer than yesterday, Satoru eyes immediately left her and scanned the guy next to you from head to toe, you grabbed Markus hand and dragged him towards your room, shutting the door behind you.
You won't let Satoru ruin everything, but he'll was this an horrible idea, not only way sthus guy boring as fuck but even though you had sex only a few time sin your life this was probably the worse sex you've had, good thing you had condoms, that barely even fit him since he was too small for that size, he came like six times in a span of thirty minutes, you weren't gonna lie and say you cummed once, you didn't at all.
Only an hour later you told him to leave, you were happy he didn't make a tantrum over that at least, you walked out your room to make sure he left and closed the door.
Of course, Satoru was standing outside his room, his eyes came to notice your messy look but mostly noticed your unsatisfied expression.
"Don't tell me, he was shit at it, huh?" Your cheeks instantly flushed but nodded your head either way. "Yeah.. he wasn't really good at it"
"I guess I was wrong about the wrong thing then" He flashed you a smirk, you could swear his eyes went in places they shouldn't, or maybe you were just hallucinating because you were horny.
"Well, goodnight roomie, good luck for your next date.. if you ever go on another of course" He teased, before heading inside his room and closing the door, you were still in your position.
Moving on was gonna be harder than you thought.
For the next four weeks you went on random dates, tried to get your mind off Satoru but nothing seemed to work, the dates would go horribly and Satoru would tease you about, that same girl came almost every day, you never saw her and Satoru kiss but you thought that was because you were there.
You had to admit that it's been weeks since Satoru has brought a girl home at night, actually you haven't heard any moans coming from his room which was weird but you thought that was because now that he has a girlfriend, maybe she still doesn't want to do it yet?
Today you went on a late walk, the air was fresh outside, these walks were somehow the only time of the day where Satoru wasn't in your head, maybe it was the cute birds and squirrels you came across during them but they were like your safe space.
It was getting late so you decided to head back to the dorm, where obviously there she was again, like always, sitting on the couch with him, laughing and talking about things you couldn't even make out because of the irritation and sadness.
You didn't even leave time for Satoru to welcome you home that you already rushed to your room, closing the door and throwing yourself on the bed.
This almost reminded you of the first day you saw her sitting on that couch, seeing her, rushing to your room, crying and repeat, you were pathetic, if things keep going this way you might just have to find yourself an apartment outside of campus where you will have all the time to forget about him, thankfully you don't have any shared classes so it will be easy.
But like always the tears started to form in your eyes and for some reason tonight the pain in your chest felt heavier than usual, your cries were louder and you hated that, you placed a hand on top of your mouth to cover even the slightest the sound.
Between your heavy tears you heard the door open and close, which meant the left, but what made you panic was the sound of steps coming towards your room, you could barely even stop crying how were you supposed to answer him.
And there is was, the knock at the door, followed by his voice. "Roomie? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable but I heard you crying and I was wondering if there was something wrong?"
You stayed silent, you should tell him, yes it's the best option, even if you get rejected, that will help you move on right? You're planning on moving away anyways so what will actually change?
"C-come in" Your voice was shaky, the door pushed open, revealing Satoru, he had a worried expression on his face, he stepped inside and closed the door, you're not sure why since only you two live here.
"Did something happen? Was it a date?" He immediately started asking you question, staring down at your layed body.
You pushed yourself up with your hand, so that you could be sitting with your back against the headboard. "I.. Satoru I need to tell you something that I have been needing to say for a few months now"
He didn't say a word but it was obvious he was listening to your every word, so instead of wasting any more time you started to speak. "I know this might seem crazy but.. I like you.. and I don't mean just a little shit.. I love you okay? I have been in love with you for countless months and I can't keep hitting myself in this way"
You looked up at him with teary eyes, he just stared back. "Being in love with you and heating every night the way you sleep with girls hurted a lot, there was not a single day I thought why didn't you do the same to me? Maybe I'm not the type of girls you usually have sex with, I thought you didn't like the way dress, how I look or the way my body looks, I tried to go on dates with random guys and have sex with them just to have you out my mind for one fucking second but I can't"
Tears were rolling down your eyes nonstop, your throat started to feel tight. "I can't keep hurting like this for someone who will never look at me that way, Satoru.." There was a small moment of silence. "I will be moving out the dorms, I will get an apartment outside of the campus, maybe that will I just accept that you don't want me and I will finally move on."
"What?!" He suddenly shouted, his face showed nothing but pure confusion and anger, you looked up at him confused through your many tears.
"Who told you all that bullshit? Who told you that I don't want you?" He stepped closer and closer, sitting down on the bed right next to you.
"Roomie, I love the way you dress, the way you look, your body, I love everything about you fuck I love you" His words left you shocked for a whole hot minute.
"I'm so sorry I never showed you my feelings, when I moved in I completely fell in love at first sight with you even though I don't even believe in that shit.. but I thought you didn't like me back, everything time I tried to make a move on you, you would always act annoyed and that made me think you didn't want me, I wanted to get you out my mind to so I started to hook up around and every single time I would fuck tbsoe girls I wished that was you under me"
His hand grabbed yours tightly, the other reached your face and whipped off the tears. "When you told me you were going on a date I felt horrible, I was jealous and to be honest I was so fucking happy every time your dates would fail, it gave me a little bit of hope"
Your hand rested on his on your cheek, this is the most skin contant you've had with him and it felt amazing, it felt calming and everything you needed at the moment. "W-what about that girl? The one that always comes here?"
He chuckled at your question. "That's actually my sister, she transfered in the city a few weeks ago and always comes here to visit, I'm sorry you thought we were other than that, she's not the friendliest of people so I understand why you would think that"
The two of you stared at each other, the silence wasn't awkward like the other times but calming, with spoken feelings behind it, and finally after so many months his face moved closer, until his lips touched yours.
You could feel the love behind it, the passion and it was amazing, it wasn't just a quick peck but it shared every emotion you both have been keeping inside.
After what rightfully felt like an eternity you both pulled away, your lips were puffy and red, a bit wet with saliva but it didn't matter. "Think I can sleep here tonight?" You chucked a bit, nodding your head fastly. "Of course you can"
He climbed on the bed, laying next to you and covering you both with the sheets, you moved closer, wrapping your arm around his waist and placing a quick kiss on his nose, which made him giggle.
