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@tollytolin
Hi! I'm Elara, 30s transfem lesbian living in Colorado. She/her only thankies. Polyamorous Plural system. If you've read this far and still use "they" for me, you suck. I will frequently reblog NSFW stuff, potentially including kink stuff that I absolutely will not tag I do furry art, rarely. You can see some of my stuff (more easily) on my FA, or under the #my art tag. https://www.furaffinity.net/user/elaramoon I also am a 3d artist so that might show up occasionally as well.
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All criticism of tme/tma is trash, but it is especially trash coming from people who throw around "afab" and "amab" as identity labels.
Hey, you, cis girl that's very (correctly) vocal about women being allowed to talk about their periods, do you include trans women in that?
I ask because every single time I've tried to talk about it to anyone that isn't a trans woman they get fucking angry. Which has caused me to have to just suffer in silence every single month. So I really relate to cis women when they talk about literally the exact same thing; being shamed by everyone around them their whole lives for talking about their periods, so they just suffer in silence every month as it negatively impacts their work and social lives. But I don't even feel like I can voice that I am literally dealing with the same exact thing because most of y'all react like you want to throw me in front of a bus for saying it, even those of you who act like your such big great transfem allies.
I guess I'll take this opportunity to talk about trans women periods. The first thing any tme person thinks when they hear this is always "how can trans women have periods? They don't have uteruses!"
The answer is: the uterus isn't what causes your period, it is effected by your period. What causes your period and what causes trans women's periods is the same thing: the endocrine system.
HRT changes the sex of your endocrine system. Feminizing HRT makes it a female endocrine system, giving us a 28-day hormone cycle just like cis women. At the end of that cycle, the hypothalamus floods the body with prostaglandins. Those are what cause all but one of the period symptoms, because they make muscles inflame and contract. They are what make the uterus shed its lining, they are what cause intestinal cramps, they are what cause body aches, they are what cause headaches and migraines. The only period symptom not causes by the release of prostaglandins throughout the body is depression, and that is caused by your endocrine system simply not processing as much estrogen and from simply feeling like shit.
So, the only symptoms trans women don't get every 28 days is menstrual cramps, because yes we do not menstruate since we don't have uteruses. But migraines, depression, body aches, intestinal cramps, and the infamous "period shits" don't exactly add up to us having any better of a time. Except we have to pretend that we're fine and nothing is different because no one believes that we get periods, not even cis women.
"But you can't call it a period then because that refers to MENSTRUATION!" is another one I hear all the time. This is incorrect. You use the word "period" instead of just "menstruation" because it doesn't just refer to menstruation. It refers to a period at the end of the hormone cycle where we experience a host of symptoms. And not all cis women experience all of the symptoms that encompass the period. Not all cis women get migraines, or body aches, or have severe depression. If a cis woman gets a hysterectomy she doesn't menstruate either! In that instance she experiences an identical period to what trans women experience. Yet, I doubt you'd insist that cis women who've had hysterectomies don't have periods.
Oh, another thing that I personally discovered after bottom surgery: vaginal odor changes for trans women during our periods too. I was not expecting that because I always thought it was just from menstruation. But nope, the ph levels of a trans woman's vagina are the same of as a cis woman's vagina, and it changes during our periods just the same.
ive never had a single good thing come from trusting a man
fascinated by the terf buzzword "male violence" because I've yet to see a real explanation of what unique property is shared between cisgender men and transgender women that lends some kind of special power to any violence committed by them
a lot of the times it's used seem to come from the oversimplification "men oppress women, ergo 'males' oppress 'females,' and I think trans women are male, ergo there is no material, systemic, or social difference between the classes of cisgender men and transgender women, so we can simply reason about transgender women as if they are part of the same category"
alternatively it's a complete refusal to understand or acknowledge the systems that permit and encourage men to commit violence, attempting to explain men's behavior entirely through their bodies (while simultaneously flattening and denying any bodily differences between cisgender men and transgender women, regardless of medical transition, for the purpose of grouping trans women together with men)
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one thing I've noticed about people who take issue with TMA/TME is that they always construct some fictional scenario whereby the TME person will be asked/preassured to disclose their TME status by the TMA person and how this is bad. This is extremely funny to me cuz not only is the inverse INFINETELY more common (afab only events, (TME) lesbian meetups, etc. the amount of TME queers who have asked me some variation of "so do you have a penis?" "are you a tranny or just a drag queen" "are those real?" *gesturing at my boobs*, is in the middling double digits) but also, every single TME person I've ever interacted with has made their TME status abundantly clear by the way they act around me/talk to me, usually within the first 10 minutes.
this tells me they both don't realize how they act around transfems and also that they don't talk to that many of us to begin with, if this hypothetical is something they believe is likely to happen.
Like, I don't need to ask you. you're gonna let me know wether I like it or not.
Trying to attend anything in public just has me butting against the fact that being tma sucks. Yeah, that hema thing looks cool, how do they feel about trans women? Yeah, the trivia at the lesbian bar looks cool, so like their thoughts on trans women? Oh, that lesbian rave looks awesome, so about the trans women? Just, fundamentally unsure if I will even be allowed to exist in this space, and if I am will I be interacted with? Will I be the pariah desperate for attention but relegated to standing awkwardly in the corner or alone at the bar?
“You can’t let other people’s opinions dictate your life” and the “opinions” in question are people saying I should be stabbed in a city where a woman was stabbed 40 times for being like me.
Like we all WISH this was a “be yourself” issue but its not. It’s a “I don’t want to be hate crimed” issue.
I know it's scary but you gotta show up anyways.
this is such a frustrating response. OP is talking about a societal issue, not a personal one. i would be willing to bet money — a lot of it — that most of the people reblogging this post are showing up to events like this anyway, we are just being aggressively mistreated a lot of the time when we do. you’re responding to somebody saying she is afraid of being stabbed to death in a city where that actually happened to a trans woman recently and saying “well yeah but that’s just how it is”. we know that’s how it is. that’s why we’re complaining about it. This is a problem that rests at the feet of TME people, not trans women being too shy/agoraphobic,
Really starting to get sick of this attitude that transfeminists are just shut-ins with no real world experience, that our fears about violence & mistreatment are just anxieties rather than realities. I’m glad that you have felt safe enough in these events to brush off these concerns, but that is not true for every autistic woman, every woman of color, for every disabled woman.
In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.
It really is crazy the way anybody ever managed to push the idea that there is a real, tangible "transmasc erasure". If you look up books, comics, movies, plays, etc. starring a trans protagonist pretty much every single time they are going to be trans masc or TME nonbinary. You have some notable exceptions like Nevada, or Detransition Baby, but pretty much every one of those is going to be BY a transfem author telling our own stories. But they will swear that transmascs are being erased in media compared to trans women so you will go through a list of the top 50 trans books and top 10 trans films for pride and the top 8 queer comic lists and they will pretty much all be about a transmasc experience and you will be like. okay so I reviewed 60 pieces of media and 5 of them were interested in representing trans women and the rest were transmasc or TME nb what do you mean by erasure and they will look you in the eye and say with a full chest "I am jealous that you guys get more blood libel than us"
Yall have got to be more normal about non-binary people, transfeminism is for non-binary transfems just as much as it is for binary trans women. Transmisogyny doesn't care about the identity of the people it targets, it cares about their assigned sex and their directional movement inside the masculine-feminine hierarchy.
A non-binary person who assigned male at birth is TMA regardless of how exactly the identify, because transmisogyny does not let us be non-binary on our own terms. We're pressured to just be effeminate men, to be femboys, who notably, are a porn category, while prevented from just existing in a space of non-binary identity and presentation that we get to define. (while some transfems do identify as femboys, the fact that the identity is so closely tied to sexualization and fetishization of transfeminine bodies is a product of transmisogyny) Even in queer spaces, we exist inside a conception of androgyny which was crafted by and for transmasculine non-binary people, a conception which does not serve us.
Even the most masculine non-binary person who was assigned male at birth that you can think of, a person who probably doesn't even use the word transfem to describe themselves, is still transfeminized. (transfem is not an identity, remember?) They cannot escape that social process of transfeminization by presenting masculine, in the same way and for many of the same reasons why eggs or non-passing trans girls cannot escape that social process by attempting to present masculine.
A trans girl who doesn't pass still experiences misogyny because, despite the people around her explicitly not recognizing her gender, they implicitly recognize her social class. She gets read as bitchy and needy and loud, like passing trans woman and cis women are, and is faced with the same contradictory standards as passing trans and cis women are.
This doesn't fundamentally change when the transfem in question is non-binary. They may not seek to pass as a woman, but their behaviour and presentation are still subject to feminization, something which carries additional injury when they do not seek to be feminine. They are trying to occupy a social space which does not yet exist, their desired relationship with androgyny, masculinity, and femininity is completely unrecognized, even in queer spaces. Just like how transmisogyny pressures all transfems to just be cis effeminate men, it pressures them as well. Just like how transmisogyny makes all transfems at once hyperfeminine (focus on us doing things like makeup and clothing) and hypermasculine (focus on our masculine features like genitalia and jaw), it hyperfeminizes and hypermasculinzes them as well. Just like how transmisogyny fetishizes all transfem's bodies, it fetishizes their body as well. The social processes at work do not change, only the identity of the target.
This transmisogyny can impact them differently, of course. A feminine transfem and a masculine transfem will react differently to hyperfeminization, for example. The lived experiences of transfems as it relates to transmisogyny are not homogeneous because the identities and social realities of transfems are highly diverse. This does not weaken the analytical power of transmisogyny, because the social processes of transmisogyny remain exactly the same. On the contrary, it means we can analyze transmisogyny from multiple identities and see how the same social force and processes impact different people differently.
Because of their identity, some non-binary transfems will be more affected by different aspects of transmisogyny, and less affected by others, relative to a binary transfem. All transfeminized people (holding other aspects like race and position to imperialism steady, obviously) occupy the same social position, they are simply differentially affected by that social positioning. If a particular transfem is affected less by transmisogyny by virtue of her identity, that does not mean she is any less transfeminized than a transfem for whom transmisogynistic social processes effect very strongly.
Every identity of person does not get their own oppression. Social processes function without regard to identity, this is why transmisandry is a load of anti-feminist garbage and exorsexism fundamentally flawed. This is also why all non-binary people who assigned male at birth are TMA. Their identity and presentation are not irrelevant to the conversation, but they are also not the determining factors in their social class. I feel like I have to point this out over and over because I keep seeing transfeminists play this identity game and by virtue, excluding non-binary people from transfeminism, and frankly I'm sick of it.
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three weed smoking gfs used to be the realm of fantasy. but now thanks to the power of transexualism this dream has been achieved by some
a lot of my disillusionment with the trans "community" comes down to the fact that too many of you take "gender is different from sex" and go "ah ok, so instead of saying women are fragile and men are strong, I should say afabs are fragile and amabs are strong. to be Inclusive"
then you just treat gender like a surface level aesthetic draped over what someone "actually" is. really is indistinguishable from terf rhetoric
you all need to unpack your bioessentialism, but we also need a better theory of gender than "it's just dressup." I will pick my words carefully here, but the word "gender" itself refers to so many different phenomena that have been lumped together, and we need to un-lump them
in a feminist context, "gender" has historically referred to externally imposed categorization and the internalization and performance of said categories. in a paper I wrote on this subject, I called this sense of the word "extrinsic gender"
"intrinsic gender," on the other hand, is what I used to refer to the sense of the word "gender" that a lot of trans people are talking about when they discuss social gender dysphoria and euphoria. it's the internal sense of category that's resistant to external impositions
but then we also use the word "gender" to refer to subconscious sex, which is the term Julia Serano coins in Whipping Girl to name the phenomenon we're talking about when we talk about bodily dysphoria. it is the "gender" being "affirmed" by gender affirming healthcare like HRT and bottom surgery
so, "gender" is: a social classing system, a performance, and at least two internal phenomena as well. and I really don't know if it's doing us a service to conflate all of these things!
a lot of people lately seem to be going heavy on the "performance" use of the word, ignoring (intentionally or otherwise) social classing, intrinsic gender, and subconscious sex. this seems to have led to a lot of "progressive" people treating trans women like men "amabs" who wear womanhood as a costume, and nobody understands why that's wrong because they also think gender is just a performance
And I think its relevant that people always misunderstand Judith Butler's intent with casting gender as "performative". They meant it in the philosophical sense, a social concept that can only exist through the actions of a social agent. You "perform gender" the same way you "perform tasks". Gender doesn't just exist, it must be created through actions. Society incentives certain actions to be performed in order to construct the gender binary, and if you do not perform those actions in the correct combination it disrupts the binary cohesion of gender as a social construct. But the gender binary as a social construct that can be dismantled doesn't naturally disprove subconcious sex.
Most people instead have a moralizing definition of it as a performance in the sense of an actor or a liar, something that isn't real because its done to convince someone of something completely false. This ends up rewarding people who treat gender as meaningless and silly like cis people who "dont care" about gender, or GNC TME celebrities and drag performers, or gender abolitionist transphobes, and punishes anyone who has an unacceptable investment in their subconcious sex and the way they are treated by others. Aka trans people. And of course trans women are opened to hyper-scrutiny in this framing since womanhood is treated as the most "performative" gender.
people are so fucking weird about uncontacted tribes/peoples oh my goddddd you are not making it out of the colonialist mindset
fun fact uncontacted peoples are not ignorant they are fully aware of the "outside world" and are CHOOSING not to have contact because they (rightly) feel it would add no value to their lives and place them in an exploited position. it's voluntary. they are isolated on purpose.
sentinelese people aren't like some ignorant noble savages, or actual savages who are all about warfare and killing (wildly racist take i see very often), they are literally regular ass fucking people who have seen the exploitation of their neighbors (other andamanese people) AND the massive disease outbreaks caused by contact, and decided they want no part in that. they are literally regular people choosing to survive. that's it.
glad that this is getting traction, but if you're saying things like "yeah, and they are right! modern society is a curse! they are living The Right Way and are more enlightened have better lives than us!" you are also the people i'm talking about. sorry. they are regular people living regular lives. please internalize this fact and stop exoticizing.
This Pride, make sure every trans woman that you follow, are mutuals with, goon over, or consume their work in general, has a roof over their head, their bills paid, and food in their kitchens.
You wanna call yourselves allies? This is the work. Do it.
And yes, I'm putting my links on here because I still have to get around 1800 in for rent and bills.
Donations: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts
Or https://ko-fi.com/tormentedartifacts/shop
And yes, if you're transfem of any kind, you're welcome to add your own links on here when reblogging.
paypal.me/miscling gonna be posting later today but it usually posts a weekly £100 fundraiser to buy food with
https://www.paypal.me/incubidisaster
I need help. I'm sorry for asking.
c*shapp is $PMastro97
venmo is pmastro97
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venmo: Ellie-Wright-69
haven't been getting much work as a painter and that's all I have rn so a little bit to help with food would be appreciated
CA: $ElaraCorsaro PP: elaracorsaro at gmail dot com Me and my girlfriends are facing housing insecurity and risking ending up on the streets this pride month, anything to help us secure housing would go incredibly far
why are you always bitching about cis women having boundaries and not cis men who are the ones who are statistically far more likely to murder you? god forbid women don't spend all their emotional labor on centering you 24/7. go after the transphobic politicians or something, those are the actual fascists who want you dead.
those "boundaries" get us murdered lol. trans women who can't access women's shelters or other forms of housing because of cis women's "boundaries" are left on the streets to be assaulted and murdered
if you want trans women out of women's spaces, and the rationale for those spaces existing is to protect from violence, then you are saying that trans women don't deserve protection from the same violence despite being at an even higher risk of it than you
terfs have gotten crazy good at framing discrimination through the language of consent. systemic discrimination is not "boundaries"
the emotional labor of being asked not to discriminate against one of the most vulnerable groups of women
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Feminine men existed and were part of the queer community long before people built an entire identity around a transmisogynistic slur. Having a problem with a culture based around the degendering fetishization of trans woman isn't "increasing binary expression".
If people had chosen shemale, trap or ladyboy instead of femboy as their new label I'd be arguing against those instead. Hell, tme people do call themselves traps, which is extra disgusting considering what that word implies.
Put on a fucking dress. Grow your hair out. Wear eyeliner, it looks great on everyone. I encourage it. Gender is a scam invented by bathroom sign companies.
But stop building an identity off fetishization of me and stop acting like I'm the problem for being upset by it.
"afab only housing" is honestly beautiful. it's #progress to use inclusive language when discrimating against trans women
you might as well just say "no men, and yeah I think men includes you trannies (but trans men aren't men you ladies are welcome 🥰)"
^^^
It really is one of the best examples of them compounding. Cause when I was in a really bad spot housing wise, a few times I applied to those anyway and made a point about being like "oh I'm afab" and it felt so fucking gross. But I didn't wanna be homeless. So I made myself uncomfortable (and for nothing as it turned out, I would not do the same thing again if I went back in time)
But even then, and even more now, I was so conscious of the fact that, as uncomfortable and gross as it felt.... It was an option. And if I was a trans woman, no matter how desperate I was, it would not BE an option. It's a way of understanding privilege more people need to take on IMO, cause it's not about whether or not I think of it as a privilege. Course I dont. That's not the point.
