Ugly Untalented Gay

for my cereal

thanks for making time for an interview for this managerial role overseeing the microsoft 365 team. what really stood out to us about you - and what rocketed you to the top of our list - was that part in your cover letter where you described yourself as a “sick fuck” who “would stop at nothing to see the microsoft 365 suite of products reduced to a functionless, pale imitation of their 2007-era predecessors” and that the user should “toil fruitlessly as they navigate a completely bewildering interface while being forced to ruminate on how they own nothing and instead rent increasingly expensive useless vapor.” when would you be available to start?

so embarrassing to have a funny thought and unironically be like “this will do numbers on tumblr.com!” and oh boy! numbers is zero.

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

wait for me!! 🐜

[🪲🐜) damn bitch ur ass so fat it's bending the elevator. But that's fine #bodypositivity

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?