does anyone have $1k and a parasocial relationship with me that may tempt them to send it to me

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

broke my routine so now i have to kill myself

my stupid fucking head just loves to ache

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

should be illegal for someone to start typing to u and never send it. what were u gonna say. come back. I miss u.

i hate responsibilities i should be having gay sex instead

yall are so fucking weird about gnc people. a woman wears a suit and she's "conforming to the patriarchy". a man wears a skirt and he's Secretly A Trans Egg. have you considered It's Fabric

rocket pops and other popsicles have had a recent surge in popularity as a drink flavor but im fucking sick of it because NO ONE is putting a drop of popsicle stick wood extract in it. its fake as fuck if im not tasting the STICK

i could be your deadbeat tumblr mutual

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

My understanders will Understand me