hello

“The three of us were inseparable for a while. You can probably fill the blanks: we got older, puberty and all that. We both had crushes on Esther, I just asked her out sooner than he did. We were fourteen, things between the three of us felt the same, life went on, I just spent more time with Esther without Dave around. Then my dad gets orders to work in Guam to teach — I was sixteen — I hated my dad for months. Esther and I broke up; life went on. I didn’t see your parents for a while, and then after that, I would run into them occasionally but nothing crazy – I haven’t seen your brother since he was a toddler.” He can’t think of anything else. 

“Thank you for telling me, Cash. I… I still have a lot of questions. Or well, I don’t know if that’s right. But I do have so much on my mind. I know right now isn’t appropriate.” She shakes her head, fishing a tissue out of her purse so she can dab at her eyes and cheeks, being careful of her makeup. “Tonight is about you and your hard work. We can talk more after the gala. And after I’ve had more time to absorb everything.”

Yesterday was the best Christmas Cash had in decades; this year with Ashley has been life changing and the idea of losing that scares the shit out of Cash. He walks around the perimeter of the building until he finds her, “hey…” his determination has dissolved into nervousness as he takes his tuxedo jacket off, draping it over her bare shoulders. “Can we talk about this? Without your…” he can’t even say it, “without the distractions.” 

His words snap her out of her thoughts and she can’t help the small frown that tugs on her lips. “I want you to tell me everything, Cash.”

“Two years –” David interjects again and Cash bristles, growing irritated. “David, stop,” he warns, taking a step forward but then he steps back again, he’s not going to cause a scene at the biggest event in his career.

“I… I don’t know what to say. Can you excuse me?” She can hear the way her voice is shaking, her eyes stinging with unshed and hurt tears, backing away from Cash and her parents. Her mother looks like she wants to follow but Ashley shakes her head, she’s the last person that Ashley wants to be with right now. She’s in a daze as she turns away from the group, barely noticing anyone as she makes her way out of the ballroom, craving fresh air and a moment to herself, especially now that she doesn’t think she can hold her tears back any longer.

“No, David, ” He says, glancing at Ashley, hoping she will back him up, “we’re in love.”

“What’s going on?” She can’t help but question, looking between her parents and Cash. Her mother looks like she’s seen a ghost, her face ashen and she doesn’t meet Ashley’s gaze, too busy staring at Cash. It’s starting to upset her, how confused she is, and all she can do is stare between the trio, hoping someone will tell her something.

Everything is going to plan, there was a hiccup or two with catering but it was resolved before the event began and once all the wealthiest in Riverfield and the surrounding areas was packed in the hotel ballroom, Cash could breathe a sigh of relief and do what he does best: networking. Cash works the room, greeting new faces and charming them and hopefully their wallets, not sure if his empathetic speech about why he picked the charity was enough so he’s making it a point to try and speak to everyone who showed up for at least five minutes. His jaw is starting to hurt but he shoulders on with the help of the endless champagne, needing a break he seeks out his plus one. Just thinking about Ashley makes Cash smile, he can’t believe she got perfectly manicured nails in his heart, but he’s never been happier and he can’t wait to tell her that. Cash can recognize the back of her small blonde head and walks over to her. “I said this earlier but I have to say it again, you are truly the most beautiful woman in the room tonight,” he says into her ear, resting his free hand on her hip.

It’s just as she’s finishing with that that she hears her dad say his goodbyes, and she straightens up, knowing that her parents are about to turn back to give her their attention again. “Mom, Dad! I want you to meet someone special.”

Cash watches Ashley go inside the airport with her things and their dog after one last wave and goes back home. He doesn’t know how much more sleep he can get before set time but it won’t hurt to try. Settled in bed again Cash has no sense of time when the deep buzz of his phone vibrating on his nightstand wakes him with a jolt, blinking himself more awake as he picks up his phone, accepting the call. “Hmm hey…”

It only takes a few rings before Ashley is hearing his voice, her heart clenching a little because already she’s missing him. “Hi, Cash. It’s me. I’m on the plane now, everyone is still boarding so I have some time. I wanted to call you before taking off.” She tries not to let her worry show in her voice, though she’s not sure she succeeds. It’s going to be their first time apart since they originally got divorced, which in her mind doesn’t count. 

Once they arrive back at their building Ashley doesn’t even think twice about the doorman, greeting him in return and letting out an automatic laugh and thanks at the compliment. It was always easiest to just accept them gracefully like that, even if the only compliments she truly cared about were from Cash. Though his own comment in response makes her giggle as well, until they’re in the elevator together and the sound fades out. “What are you talking about? I didn’t think it was a big deal. He does that all the time.” Ashley arches a brow slightly, lips pushing down into a slight frown.

Once they arrive back at their building Ashley doesn’t even think twice about the doorman, greeting him in return and letting out an automatic laugh and thanks at the compliment. It was always easiest to just accept them gracefully like that, even if the only compliments she truly cared about were from Cash. Though his own comment in response makes her giggle as well, until they’re in the elevator together and the sound fades out. “What are you talking about? I didn’t think it was a big deal. He does that all the time.” Ashley arches a brow slightly, lips pushing down into a slight frown.

“Originally I wanted you to realize what I had on when we meet at the altar but I have no clue how I would have hid this from you anyways,” he chuckles to himself and they detach, he laces their fingers together as he listens to the metalsmith talk about maintenance and other nonsensical things that Cash can’t be bothered to truly process. Cash leaves the man with a decent parting gift, an envelope thick with the other half of the payment he promised the man plus extra and after thanking him one more time, the pair leave. “Here, you can wear this til we get home. I don’t want it to get tangled in my pocket.” Ashley’s head is so small, he doesn’t have to open the clasp to get the chain over her head and onto her neck.

When Ashley gets the jewelry on she smiles, reaching up to finger the chain gently, touching along the familiar metal. It feels different when it’s on her neck instead of his, but Cash’s replacement with the locket? It’s so much better. “I’ll keep it safe until we get home. Let’s go.” Despite her words she doesn’t move yet, just steps closer and reaches up, touching along her name on the new lock that he wears. It’s really so sweet, and Ashley knows this wasn’t a last minute “I’m sorry for last night” thing, it was planned out which makes it that much more special to her. But she gets her fill of looking at it soon enough, taking her fiance’s hand again so they could make the familiar trek back to their apartment together.

When Ashley gets the jewelry on she smiles, reaching up to finger the chain gently, touching along the familiar metal. It feels different when it’s on her neck instead of his, but Cash’s replacement with the locket? It’s so much better. “I’ll keep it safe until we get home. Let’s go.” Despite her words she doesn’t move yet, just steps closer and reaches up, touching along her name on the new lock that he wears. It’s really so sweet, and Ashley knows this wasn’t a last minute “I’m sorry for last night” thing, it was planned out which makes it that much more special to her. But she gets her fill of looking at it soon enough, taking her fiance’s hand again so they could make the familiar trek back to their apartment together.

“I’m going to miss you.” Her face presses into his chest then, clinging onto Cash’s larger frame, giving herself into her tears. Ashley doesn’t care that her eyes will be red and swollen as she goes through the airport, feeling too emotional and sad to care. She’s scared for her mom, and scared to leave her fiance behind. But she has no choice, and just allows herself to cling onto him for as long as she can, doing her best to control her tears.

Ashley makes sure to stick close to Cash then, so nervous and inexperienced when it comes to things like this. She’s never even been to a frat party before, and of course it ends in running from the cops. But she can admit to herself, it is kind of fun, fleeing the scene with Cash like this. It’s thrilling, adrenaline pumping through her veins like this. Ashley feels safe with Cash too, he’s so big and tall that she doesn’t think anyone will mess with them either.

Cash has no tunnel vision, which makes him look like an overachiever; it wasn’t on purpose, and somehow doing a little bit of everything to keep himself entertained intellectually has cultivated the college junior a rather illustrious academic career – in Cash’s mind at least. “More like freakin’ smart. I am a genius.” He’s drunk, so he assumes she will believe him, and he drinks a little bit more; it’s super sweet but not sweet enough to mask the various liquors used in the concoction; it’s still hot going down his throat. ”The idea of monetizing my writing sounds terrifying. I went to a poetry reading thing a few months back? never again, everyone sucked but me. Wanting to teach Korean to high schoolers is…” the absolute dumbest thing Cash has ever heard, “very noble of you, I can see you teaching kindergarten. Do you know those girls who came with us tonight?”

The question about the girls has Ashley tilting her head, nose scrunching up a little in thought. “No, not really. I’ve seen them around campus, but this was my first time actually meeting and talking to them. Why? You don’t know them either?” Which would be good, she reasons. Because that would mean that Kevin has never brought them around before, unlike her. Easy for him to forget about them.

Finally in the SUV, Cash drives them to the airport, running into traffic, and he decides not to blow up even if he wants to groan. “I’m going to send you mom some flowers, I think she would like that.” He says, drumming his fingertips against the steering wheel, “If you call Andrew, tell him I said hey.”

Ashley is so lost in her head that she barely notices when they arrive, already on the verge of tears and she knows that she won’t be able to hold them back once it’s finally time to say goodbye. 

Her thoughts are still focused on her fiance when she’s done and he’s getting it welded together, her face still flushed from the happiness of the key in her hand and what it symbolizes. “This man really is mine forever…” Ashley lets out a happy giggle, stepping closer to cash once the man is done. She almost forgets that he’s there, honestly, too busy admiring how the new jewelry looks on him, her name (mostly) permanently around his neck. Uncaring of any eyes on them she goes up on her toes, steadying herself with a hand on Cash’s chest as she gives him a soft kiss, trying to put some of her apology into that action. “I really love this,” she says after they break away. “It looks so perfect on you, Cash.”

Her thoughts are still focused on her fiance when she’s done and he’s getting it welded together, her face still flushed from the happiness of the key in her hand and what it symbolizes. “This man really is mine forever…” Ashley lets out a happy giggle, stepping closer to cash once the man is done. She almost forgets that he’s there, honestly, too busy admiring how the new jewelry looks on him, her name (mostly) permanently around his neck. Uncaring of any eyes on them she goes up on her toes, steadying herself with a hand on Cash’s chest as she gives him a soft kiss, trying to put some of her apology into that action. “I really love this,” she says after they break away. “It looks so perfect on you, Cash.”

After they finish eating, Cash puts Ashley’s bags in the car while she gathers Zoe’s travel bag. At the last minute, he called the airline and made a change. Cash thinks that if Ashley brings Zoe, she won’t fully spiral, and her parents don’t have any pets, so they can also enjoy Zoe’s healing powers as Esther heals. Back inside, Cash hunts Ashley down in the kids’ room, while she’s trying to get things situated, Molly and Shibz are trying to figure out if they’re also going somewhere, and Cash decides to help. “I’m going to call Ryuhwan to come get these two because I’m going to set today.”

“Your phone is gonna be totally loud, right? I know we can’t talk but I’m hoping to be able to text during the flight.” She knows her tone is obviously worried, it’s unfortunate but she’s never been good at hiding her emotions. Especially big ones like she's experiencing right now. “And I’m definitely going to call you before I board and after I land. I just don’t want you to miss my call because you didn’t hear it…”

“As for me, well, I’m studying to be a teacher. Just general though, like an elementary school level. Originally I wanted to teach Korean at a high school level you know? But the classes for ‘higher education’ like that were a little hard for me… so I chose elementary instead!”

Nayeon Regardless : Live it!