welcome to dead house

Alejandro Esteban Ricardo Burromuerto was born on April 22nd, 1991 in Buenos Aires, Argentina to Francisco and Valentina Burromuerto! This makes him a Taurus (haha. bull)

His oldest brother is Carlos, and then Jose respectively (sorry about the lack of tilde over the e, i don't have spanish keyboard on my laptop lol)

Cisgender homosexual; lots of Catholic guilt from his upbringing surrounding his sexuality; hides it

Was a surprise baby; is mama's favorite but papa's least favorite. while she saw him as a blessing, he saw alejandro as a problem child who was overly sensitive (he would cry a lot)

growing up was not easy as the son of a diplomat; got away with too much which gave him a bratty demeanor which would get him in trouble; had to overperform for papa's attention; bullied by jose regularly and was often compared to jose by him; they traveled a lot as well, which made alejandro's homelife unstable.

on the flip side carlos taught him a lot of know-how with sports; very close with carlos and was close with mama. spent time with his brothers (when they were home) by playing soccer, or sneaking out to go watch soccer matches. soccer is considered a "low brow" sport by a lot of upper class in south america, so they'd HAVE to hide it from the fact they were hanging out in dingy bars from their dad. mama encouraged it though, and also encouraged carlos' love for the sport, wanting him to pursue it; fun and lovely memories exist there, and adult alejandro tries to focus on those solely.

lots of baby alejandro's pictures are in carlos' posession, btw. after total drama, alejandro was effectively disowned by his father, and all posessions were given to carlos (who drove down to BS from Miami, FL to get them).

growing up, alejandro also wasn't really allowed to choose what to do; was forced to participate in sports like the skateboarding olympics, the gymnastics team (gifted balancer!), mathletes, student body council, etc. was really just made to keep performing for papa. the son of a diplomat has to be well decorated and well educated, after all.

this lead to alejandro choosing to audition for total drama world tour; it was a secret audition that chris kept under wraps, and he was one of two people chosen for the new season to compete (and chris' assistant picked him specifically!); alejandro just wanted to choose his own path that set him apart from the other burromuertos. however, this caused a rift between him and his father, because reality television was trashy to him, and too lowbrow for his almost-perfect son. if alejandro didn't make a good name for himself and do the family proud... well. don't bother coming back.

(he failed.)

these high standards also lead to alejandro becoming VERY accustomed to lying and manipulating things to get his way. what can you say - it's the environment you grow up in that affects how you act as a young adult/adult. years of therapy and medications and blunt criticism broke alejandro out of that habit. the need to perform to get love. (noah finally settled the dust; you CAN be loved unconditionally.)

horrified of being a father, but lets his mind drift towards dreams of having a daughter. he'd be a killer girldad, he just is mortified of repeating what his father did to him.

for world tour, him and noah dated in the pre-production and first half of the season until London, where Noah became fully fed up with all of the shit with Heather and the other girls, and they had a major fight. the deal for alejandro was a contract where, if he followed every story beat and performed perfectly (something he'd practiced!) he'd get a chunk of change and a guaranteed spot in the final two. he'd just have to do what freshTV said (which was kiss women and fulfill a racist spanish stereotype. papa was right - this all was low brow.)

they'd get back together in their later 20's

ENOUGH ANGST!! alejandro writes fully in cursive. can print but his letters loop together. has very pretty handwriting.

smells good literally all of the time. his shower rituals take an hour at a time on a good day. expensive products for every inch of his body, and they all smell luxurious. very vain at times; takes great precision and pride in his manicured appearance.

loves to read nonfiction, academic articles, and science journals regarding his special interests. absorbs information like a sponge.

can trim his own bangs

when speaking more formally he tries to break up his contractions, but when he's relaxed his accent tends to slip out more and his spoken sentences are sloppier. uses emojis while texting. can write essays beautifully. him and noah are both gifted writers.

learned english against his will because papa found it unbecoming to speak their specific language on diplomat calls. alejandro still finds it upsetting, and prefers to speak in spanish when he can, especially with family. tries to teach noah.

Ale would teach Anthropology later in life because he is a Nerd

methinks………….. mortuary anthropology? he still has his interest in dinosaurs and works with the paleontology part of the archaeology team to teach about them, but also has a major love of learning about past cultures as well. maybe a major in anthropology and a minor in paleontology? he also in my brain is a stellar cartographer (map maker!) and can map dense jungle out with his brain. that's why despite getting stuck from owen going missing, team chris did fairly well in the amazon challenge (headcanon!)

mortuary anthropology (my projecting #projecting!!!) would be an interest of his as well like i mentioned. he'd love learning about the ancient tombs and pyramids they'd use to bury their dead, what grave goods they'd contain and what they presented about that decedents personhood, etc. i just headcanon alejandro to be the biggest history nerd to ever history nerd

headcanon also that before he gets older and transitions into teaching, alejandro works for a long time at a history museum : 3 it's easier on his joints/an accessible, a smaller spot for him to traverse with a wheelchair/cane if need be. can sit when needed, etc. quiet and not super overwhelming + he can gush all about stuff and knows people are quite literally paying to listen to him infodump! he also loves his discount on the gift shop stuff. noah gets annoyed at times with how much alejandro comes home with (ie. massive stuffed dinosaurs and little fossil figurines)

i think he is a Wounded Deer by the time he turns 25 and is genuinely just a sweet guy. learned a lot from his mistakes, the shit total drama put him through/forced him to do, etc. he isn't absolved of all wrong doings but has learned to forgive himself for being a stupid kid and has started meds/gone to therapy/psychology appointments, etc. to make himself better.

he's pretentious and overly conscious of his food intake. big "i love fancy restaraunts where the serve salmon ceviche on 1 singular plantain crisp ❤️ " guy. really good chef, but cannot handle too much heat in the kitchen. gives him anxiety (trauma from volcano incident)

speaking of! alejandro had several broken long bones, a wrist fracture, sternum fracture, and various degree burns after the volcano incident. he was treated in a hospital in maui for several months until they deemed him okay to go home. had to relearn how to walk, and finds himself stiff at times in mobility. uses aids like canes and wheelchairs if necessary. also needs a wrist cuff, knee cuffs, compression socks, and other accessories if his nerve flareups are bad.

he also gets tingling numbness in the spots where he was badly burned. lots of damaged nerve endings there. hated his scarring for a long time, but has found them a little sexy in his older age. most scarring is on his left side, up from the foot all the way to his forehead.

speaking of older alejandro, he loves to still wear tighter, revealing clothing that shows off his muscles and abs (he still works out! that's what got him through major depressive episodes.) has longer hair, and a 5 o'clock shadow, as well as his gross little soul patch still. the hair there is soft, though.

wears designer brands because of course he does.

he has a lot of money from a freshTV lawsuit settlement, so he's donated some money to the hospital that helped him + burn victim charities, and then kept the rest. generous, and loves to give thoughtful gifts when he can + help homeless/less fortunate when he sees it.

speaking of gifts as well, this guy LOVES to be romantic. noah pretends to hate the mushy gushy stuff, but keeps every cologne-doused love letter, a flower from every bouquet, and more that alejandro has given him. alejandro loves to cook for the people he loves, as well as clean for them, and do favors. has built himself a found family after his own was too harsh for comfort.

owns a red camero. alejandro is an asshole. noah calls it the Fart Car because of the engine.

loves cats and birds! can never keep them at the same time though, however (lol). has a long-furred white cat named mimi, and when he was younger he kept a pair of parrots named Jewels and Treasure.

favorite movie as a child was Land Before Time; got him into dinosaurs in the first place

worked at a bar during his years in college; is a fairly skilled bartender! can craft cocktails amazingly but refuses all the stupid "tricks". would tell patrons he wasn't a dog. remarkably was one of their most popular bartenders, as people found his wit and snippiness charming. some absolutely hated him though and would walk out if they saw he was working (usually frat guys)

secretly dated alejandro during TDA through London; lots of drama there and trauma on both ends. they get back together later in life and air their grievances to heal. very healthy relationship, actually.

said he didnt like movies to look cool; loves GOOD horror films and REALLY BAD schlocky b movies. Especially appreciates films by Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen, masters of cinema they are (sarcasm). Hate watches bad films on purpose to make fun of them. Favorite movie is Jaws.

enjoys theme parks but only in the mornings or late evenings when it isn't busy; cant ride coasters or any spinning rides; loves to sit and people watch while eating dogshit food

favorite book is Wuthering Heights; has read all of the classics; Alejandro gave Noah a copy of WH in French from a store they visited in Paris - the book had a love letter written in it (for my universe they were dating prior to Eelgate) and Noah still treasured the book even after they broke up

medical history: trans; had cancer in his stomach lining at ages 7-9 years old - part of his stomach was removed to prevent spreading of cancerous cells + chemotherapy removed the cancer from his body and hasn't had issues since; since his stomach is smaller he cannot eat much which is why he's thin; had seizures as a baby; generally just a frail child, teen, and even adult; overall history includes all of that + asthma, anemia, fainting spells, migraines, insomnia, motion sickness issues; scars: has had top surgery, accidently cut his wrist open as a teenager so there's a scar on his left wrist right under the palm, has multiple scars from scabs, burn marks, laser marks, general injuries from total drama; is on testosterone injections and takes medicine for generalized anxiety disorder and depression.

noah's medical history is a fucking wall. he lied a lot for total drama (ie. panda dander to get out of that challenge) but he does have a significant allergy list. penicillin, general allergies to pollen during the spring and fall, latex, pine nuts, animal fur, etc. takes a strong anti-allergy medication so he can hang out with his dog ark (and alejandros cat, mimi

enjoys bugs. finds them cool. particular enjoyment of spiders, like tarantulas. convinces alejandro to let him get a rosehair

Noah doesnt really listen to music; generally listens to whatever the other person he's with/environment is playing. Prefers audio books, YouTube essays, podcasts, or NPR

has theater kid friends so he knows musicals (his favorite he's been dragged to is Next to Normal; didnt know musicals could be so thoughtful and sincere) but he doesnt actively seek them out on his own. Popular from Wicked got stuck in his head for a week, though. Worst week of his life

Noah majored in Journalism and over the course of his life would get a Doctorate of it; His main interest would be reporting on true crime, demographics and ethical concerns; Definitely wrote an anti Ai piece

Noah eats like a toddler; food sensitivies (allergies; texture issues) so he prefers his mothers cooking (comfort foods) and safe foods at restaraunts like chicken fingers, burgers, fries, mac and cheese, etcetera, just plain foods that he's fine with. does enjoy salads if they have a ton of crunch. favorite fruits are apples and blueberries. favorite veggies are potatoes, onions, and at times spinach. favorite snack is just plain chips i think.

of course, golden retriever lover. as mentioned, he has a golden retriever named ark (noah's ark). prefers dogs to most people, and ark is the only reason noah gets any exercise (walking the dog)

would get kicked out of bars early on in his youth; his mouth just always got him into trouble

speaking of his attitude, over the course of his early to mid-twenties, noah would do some work on himself and become a more pleasant person. he tries to strike the balance between being himself while also being more positive and less rude. (this was after he realized he didn't have many meaningful relationships and wanted to change)

has anxiety spirals; comes out of them easier after some time but they're rough during the peak. picks at his cuticles.

dated emma in college; they broke up suddenly. emma dumped him out of nowhere and he had no idea why until later, where she told him that she wasn't emotionally prepared to committ to anything, nor was she feeling like his attention was on her.

moving on after took a while. about a year later he was invited back to total drama for a reunion special. took the bait to hang out with owen and get some cash, while dreading seeing alejandro again (if he showed up). lo and behold, the cast is forced to share hotel rooms together, and guess who got paired with noah.

oila. two weeks later and they're dating long distance.

noah has his mom kashmir, his father rahul; and eight sisters. his poor mother got stuck with daughter after daughter. noah had a big surprise for her when he was older -> he's her only son! she was elated. causes some jealousy for some sisters because now he's the special one (for a multitude of reasons). secretly mama's favorite.

hindu upbringing, but noah doesn't practice any religion. parents migrated from india to canada, then moved to the united states after total drama to get noah out of the news whirlwind in their hometown of maple creek, sasketchewan. noah hated when they bought a house in orlando fucking florida. the whole family about melted in the central florida heat. noah still doesn't understand why they did that.

his parents kind of had a cultural identity crisis as well, but noah steered them out of it.

deadname was neha lynne; chose noah lee just because he thought it sounded cool + similar enough for his family to get.

oh! basics. birthday is february 1st, 1992; an aquarius. of course trans (ftm) and bisexual.