titan

I'm so ass at measuring distance that if I woke up in a Saw trap and the only requirement was to "run 30 ft, give or take a foot or two" I would still fuck it up and get slaughtered

"How tall was the suspect" I dunno doc everyone taller than me is 6 ft and everyone shorter than me is 4 ft

I know 80 degrees is warm and 40 degrees is cold. If you told me it was 65 degrees outside I would stare at your blankly until you were like "Wear a sweater" or something. Or "Don't wear a sweater." In fact skip the number I'll just go outside myself

If I woke up in a Saw trap and the only requirement was to roughly pour out about 4 pounds worth of sand into a jar I would just ask him to kill me without wasting either of our time

Stop telling me to look up dyscalculia. I already know about vampires

quick are you mythologizing sex again? are you making it seem like a special category of human behavior rather than just a thing people do? are you forgetting that it can be silly or fun or simply pedestrian? are you forgetting that it requires conversation and negotiation just like every other human activity that involves other people?

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

HOLY SHIT, IT'S HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!

discord drastically changed it’s UI. please be strong autistic people in my phone

i dont feel so good