A Bird In Recovery

In a recent session, a kid about 10 years old asked if I was disabled, because he noticed my cane when I was working with him. To me, he's 10, this is an innocent question, it's not offensive to me, and he even used the right word.

Now, my boss immediately tells him--before I could respond--"that's not an appropriate thing to say and you shouldn't assume something about someone based on their appearance or if they have a cane!"

I told her that I wasn't offended, and answered his question, and he followed up with "why do you use a cane? my mom has one for her back" so I answered that too, but my boss seemed really upset that he kept asking, and told him to stop.

My boss--as far as I know--is able-bodied, and I'm really confused why she was so upset, especially when I, the person being asked, wasn't. Now I get that this is not something that you should ask people you don't know, or people who you know aren't comfortable with it--but he's a kid and I know him, and I told him that for me, the whole situation didn't make me uncomfortable, and I understood he was just curious.

it’s when you look up “how to cope with delusions” and the top 10 articles are how to cope with someone else’s delusions. here’s Google’s chosen result, if you dont believe me look it up yourself! (and btw - “how to cope with my delusions” and “how to cope with my own delusions” come up with the same Google’s chosen results.)

this stupid shit has made me believe that no matter how traumatizing my delusions could ever be to me, the people who love me have it worse because of my own mental illness. no matter how scary it is for ME to actively lose my memory, it’s more inconveniencing to other people can it ever could be to me. how DARE i lose my fine motor skills, what about my loved ones and how they feel about it? how the fuck is this an acceptable way of viewing mental illness and disability? the top results for how to cope with ANYTHING should never be from an outsider’s view looking in. 

i do not exist to be silenced by guilt and a non-psychotic’s need to feel comfortable around me. 

Young people can have arthritis too.

There are hundreds of life long conditions and diseases out there that are typically diagnosed between 12 and 30.

There is a vast difference between being tired and having chronic fatigue.

Just because you can’t tell that someone is unwell from looking at them, doesn’t mean that you should assume that they are ok.

Many chronic illnesses are life long, and incurable. Many of them are potentially fatal.

If you have a disease like Lupus, on good days you still feel like you have a bad flu, 24/7.

Many of the medications used to treat chronic conditions have side effects that can really affect someone’s self esteem - like extreme weight gain, skin changes and hair loss.

Most chronic illnesses have very little awareness - its unlikely that you’ve heard of Sjogren’s Syndrome, Scleroderma, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome or Fibromyalgia.

However these diseases can cause symptoms as varied as joint pain, fatigue, constant nausea, kidney failure, pneumonia, photo sensitivity, full body rashes, paralysis, strokes etc.

Differences in opinions are normal. Bad days are normal. Moments where you're irritated and tired and want space are normal. Having to sit down and talk something out is normal.

Shouting matches, insults, threats, arguments that last for hours, passive agression, purposely trying to hurt one another, these things are NOT normal or healthy.

This goes for every relationship. Family, romance, friends, peers, there is no kind of relationship where trying to tear the other person apart is okay.

Abusers will swear to you that it's impossible to have a relationship without blowing up at each other on the regular.

Brain fog is scary.

Lots of spoonies talk about how annoying brain fog is or even how it can be funny.

And those things are true.

But no one talks about how scary it is to feel like you're forgetting everything. How uncertain it makes your reality seem, or how unstable it makes you feel.

What if one day, it gets so bad you forget something important?

Like a loved one. Or an important task.

What if one day it gets so bad, you don't remember again?