I’d be gone. No idea where. But I’d drive. Chase the sun. Steal gas so I can keep going. I’d just finally be free.

“When I was 17, I fell in love with a boy who kissed me too hard and left finger prints in my skin. He laughed too loud and left me with nothing but tangled hair and an empty bed and the taste of him still in my mouth.

“I should have told you that I would rather spend a million nights in your arms, falling asleep at midnight, with your cheek pressed against mine than to spend one night with a bottle of whiskey pressed against my lips with some other boy who would never be able to make me as happy as you do anyway”

2. He is water falling through my fingertips and silver necklaces wrapped around my neck. He is caffeine at midnight and driving highways too fast. He is alcohol burning down my throat and spinning faster, faster, faster, with my hand entangled in his until the only possible thing I can focus on is the rhythm of the song and the look on his face. He is parties shut down by flashing red & blue lights, staying awake until 6 a.m. and sleeping in until noon with bodies tangled together and hands curled in hair. He is glasses of whiskey, and lip biting, and broken hotel rooms. He is whispers in the dark, insecurities kissed away, and promises of adventures in the light. He is muffled laughter at 2:17 a.m and my heart resting in his hands.

1. He is soil underneath my fingertips and rocks in my palms. He is bonfires and drunken laughter, night sky’s where the stars are infinite. He is drunk Snapchat’s and country songs. He is holding hands while driving and falling asleep with heads resting against shoulders. He is sarcastic conversations and arguments, curse words, failed plans, and conversations about running away. He is tears streaming down my face at 1:00 a.m. and a broken heart in my hands.