Breakups
How should I start? I have so many words that it feels like imma vomit on my pc right now. Been dealing with different types of sadness my whole life. But breakup sadness? That’s a whole different story. This saddens mixes so many emotions at one’s body. You go through rage, through anger, then you forget the bad things and the “missing your ex” cry invades your whole body, even your full house.
The glow up after a breakup was never my thing, I usually did glow-downs because when I catch feelings for someone, as a pisces scorpio rising i REALLY catch feelings, and those ones can’t be erased with therapy, friends, drinks, booty calls. There’s nothing but the presence of that person to calm you down. And it’s contradictory I know, because how can one person be the cause and the solution to your sadness?
But I guess that’s what a breakup feels. U just need to navigate your own emotions until they calm down, until you start to forget moments, feelings. Until you want to see the light of the sun again.
That might take months, in my case, years. I still yearn for the love of someone that broke me. Someone that seemed my protector and become my predator. Someone that seemed my best friend and turned into my worst enemy.
And that’s when the battle starts. But why? Why do I have to fight? Why do I have to win the price of being the one that got away less hurt?
To be honest I felt the same way in every breakup, but time makes me understand that we both loose something, I loose them, they loose me. Is not a competition anymore, It’s just a grief of someone that stills alive.
