tinydestinybear’s fic recs

“Mumma,” your daughter says quizzically.

“Yes, my love?” Is your response.

“Where did Jude come from?” She says it innocently, still watching her brother rub pasta sauce on his face and in his hair. You balk at the question and lift your eyes to Harry's across the room. He looks like he may be in danger of passing out. Your daughter was almost five and had always been curious, but wasn't she a tad young to ask about such things?

You clear your throat. “Jude came from mumma’s tummy, sweets. Just like you did.” You tap your finger to the end of her nose, going with some version of the truth, hoping she would accept it.

“But how did he get there?” She presses, eyebrows scrunched like her daddy does when he's confused. Harry is biting his lips to suppress a chuckle and he raises his eyebrows at you before shaking his head and grinning.

“Well…” You start. “When a mommy meets a daddy, and they fall madly in love, the daddy gives the mommy a special seed that she plants in her belly to make a baby grow.”

“But that special seed,” Harry says, walking closer. “Isn't given to a mummy until she's at least 35.” It's your turn to bite your lips to hide a chuckle and you shake your head at Harry.

Your daughter takes a second to digest this before nodding her acceptance.

“Right,” Harry says. “Bath time for one curious Miss Violet.” Harry picks up the little girl from behind and she squeals when he flips her upside down and carries her by her ankles. Harry winks at you and disappears down the hallway and it isn't long before you hear the faucet running at chatter between daddy and daughter. You look at your son, who babbles happily, not the least concerned about being covered in sauce.

“Come on, you,” you say while unsnapping his bib and lifting him from the chair. “Shall we join your daddy and sister, huh?” You ask him. Jude puts a pudgy hand on your cheek with a wet smack in reply and you bounce him a bit in your arms.

When you reach the bathroom, you strip your son of his stained onsie and place him in the bath with his sister, who offers him a rubber duck.

Harry swipes at the cheek Jude had put his hand on, clearing the pasta sauce from your skin. You nudge his shoulder with yours in acknowledgement and he smiles in response.

Being with Harry like this, just you, him, and the kids you share, fills your heart with a joy you didn't know you could feel. Since you'd had the kids, Harry had made the effort to be home more often, only doing local gigs and filming movies where he could commute back and forth.

When you push up the sleeves of Harry's jumper you're wearing and pick up the cloth doused with baby shampoo, Harry places his hand on your back and rubs absent minded circles. You clean Jude's skin and hair, pulling faces at him and watching him smile. Violet laughs with her brother and starts making faces back. Harry removes his hand from your back and rinses Violet’s hair before adding detangler reaching for a towel.

You pull the drain and take the towel Harry hands you, swathing your son as Harry wraps up your daughter.

“I reckon we have the most delicious baby-burritos in existence,” Harry says, mouthing at your daughter's belly and making munching noises. Violet giggles and screams and Jude claps his hands and when you playfully bite at Jude's neck and he cackles.

“I think we do!” You exclaim.

Forty five minutes later, the nightlight is on, bedtime songs have been sung, both children are tucked into bed, and the kitchen is clean.

You collapse onto the sofa next to Harry who is nursing a glass of wine. You take the glass from him and let the bold flavor of the wine coat your tongue before handing it back.

“Good?” He asks.

“Mmm,” you make the sound in the back of your throat. Harry slings his arm around your shoulders and you snuggle into him while he presses his lips into your hair.

“D’you hear that?” Harry asks. Your eyes are closed and your fingers idly play with the necklaces around his neck.

“Hear what?” You ask.

“Silence,” he sighs and you chuckle quietly.

The idea pops into your head suddenly, and once it does, it's all you can think of. Your lips find his neck and at first they just ghost across his skin. Harry shudders and you don't miss the goosebumps that sprout from your breath. You feel a certain type of smug satisfaction that you can still affect him so. The arm around you tightens and you tip your head up, searching for his mouth. Harry's mouth meets yours in a languid kiss. His tongue feels familiar, but no less delicious and when he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, you can't help but moan.

“C’mere, baby,” Harry urges and you shift your body so you're sitting astride his lap. Harry's fingers slide down your sides before alternating between digging into your hips and kneading your behind, as if he can't decide which part of you he wants to touch more while he nips and sucks at your throat. Your fingers thread through his hair and you tip your head to give him access.

You hear the pitter patter of little feet before you see their owner, and disentangle yourself from Harry as quickly as possible.

“Mumma?” Violet asks sleepily, rubbing her knuckle against her eye. When your daughter comes into view, you can see her hair is matted on one side and her cheeks are tear stained.

You struggle to control your breathing after the state Harry had worked you into.

“What's wrong, love?” You ask, brushing her hair from her face. Violet clutches her stuffed elephant close to her chest.

“I had a bad dream.” Her chin is quivering and fresh tears are filling her eyes. Harry picks her up, cradling her to him.

He wipes the tears from her face before asking if she wanted to talk about it. Violet shakes her head, saying that she needs daddy's dream dust. Harry gives the little girl a smile, before lifting her and carrying her back to her room. You can just barely hear his low voice singing ‘bad dreams, bad dreams go away; good dreams, good dreams here to stay’. You know he's wiggling his fingers in front of Violet’s face and you silently thank the lord for the episode of Grey’s Anatomy you'd learnt that from.

Harry comes back into the living room after a few minutes and instead of sitting back on the sofa with you, he offers you his hand. You let him pull you up and ask, “She okay?” Harry nods and pulls you towards the bedroom you share. He softly shuts the door behind you and asks, “Now, where were we?”

In no time at all, your back is against the door and your jumper is on the floor while Harry's hand is sliding into your knickers. His fingers deftly swipe through the slick between your folds and he circles the bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs.

“Always so wet for me, aren't you?” He boasts. When he slides one long, thick finger into you, you moan against this mouth. He adds another finger and pushes his thumb up to massage your clit. The stretch is delicious, and when you think you can't take much more direct pressure to your sizzling nerves, Harry shifts his hand. When he taps against that spongy spot inside of you, your muscles clench down on his fingers and he groans in your ear.

“You gonna come, love?” He asks before grazing his teeth on your earlobe. You pant Harry's name and grasp at his back, not having enough clarity of mind to say anything but his name.

When you hear Jude whimper over the baby monitor, you both freeze and hold your breath, waiting to see if your son needs you.

After a few beats of silence, Harry starts to move his fingers against you again, curling them and twisting them inside of you, building you back up to the orgasm you were so close to. “Come on, sweetheart, hmm? Come for me. Let me feel it.” He nips at your jaw and your orgasm explodes from your core. Harry's fingers slow, bringing you down gradually and you slump against him. When he withdraws his hand, he licks his fingers clean and moans around his fingers. “Christ you taste good,” he praises. He kisses you again and you can taste yourself on his tongue. “Bed,” he rasps and you nod. In the few steps between the door to the bedroom and your king size bed, you both shed your clothes hastily and fall onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs.

Harry grinds his length against you in a gentle tease. He brushes the head of him against your folds and angles his hips to tuck the first few inches of his cock into your heat. You instinctively widen your legs and tip your hips up in a silent plea for him to enter you fully and when he does, you gasp in unison. Harry grinds his hips against you at first, before slowly rocking back and forth.

“Harry,” you sigh. When your heels dig into his lower back he picks up speed. His hips swivel and circle and fuck, it feels so good. He fills you exquisitely, like he was made to be inside of you. You can feel every vein and ridge on his cock and your hips begin to rotate in time with his.

"Jesus,” Harry curses. “You feel so fuckin’ good.” His lips suck at your neck, sure to leave a mark.

“H-Harry, I'm - oh.” You gasp out. He's picked up his pace, his hips slamming into yours and pelvic bone rubbing against your clit. He strokes your favorite spot inside of you and your back snaps up from the mattress. “Do that again,” you beg. He hits that spot over and over until you're shaking and scoring his back with your nails.

When you come, your vision goes starry and you feel a gush of wetness on your thighs.

“‘S right,” Harry pants. “Coming so hard, you soak me, hmm?” His eyes are closed and his head is tipped back and he's rapidly approaching his own orgasm. You clench down on his cock again and he hisses, his thrusts get sloppier until he's jutting completely out of rhythm. Harry comes with thick, hot streams deep inside of you and you can feel his body tremble long after his orgasm subsides. He presses a kiss to your sweaty shoulder before rolling off of you and tucking you into his side.

“6 years of marriage and two kids later and we've still got it, eh?” Harry says once he can speak normally, wagging his eyebrows at you suggestively. You laugh at your goofball of a husband and nuzzle in closer.

12,937 likes

HSUpdates Harry spotted at a Museum with a group of friends. Sources stated that he was mainly talking to a girl who viewed the entire display with him. (12/3/18)

1,656 comments

harryfan1 I want to go on a museum date with him.. damn

harryfan2 his yellow trousers YAASSS

harryfan3 it’s always so embarrassing when he catches us taking photos

harryfan4 @/harryfan3 his sixth sense 😭

harryfan5 museum? how classy

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y/ninstadiary (1/5/18) he wants to go out with me again? this will be our third date? i’m so confused. i think i’ve forgotten to mention that my date and crush is harry styles. his music has saved me so many times and was the person who inspired me to create my youtube channel. i had my therapy session today also and told them that i feel like a fucking alien. i told them i don’t know what I am feeling. i’m scared and confused. i want to like him but i’m terrified.

0 comments

1 like

y/ninstadiary (17/8/18) this photo now means a lot to me. this man said he loves me today. harry said it casually that it took me a moment to realise what he’d said. i was so conflicted at first, trying to make sure he knew what he’d said and whether he truly believed it. but he does. he loves me. i took a photo of him today (above) so i could remind myself of how beautiful he looked when he said he loves me. my therapist also suggested adding him onto my personal diary log… so hi harry❤️

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harrystyles I only want to tell you I’m so proud of your heart and your courage and bravery. I love you.🍋

17,364 likes

HSUpdates Harry seen today riding a bike along with the YouTuber Y/N L/N in Italy. (20/3/20)

2,756 comments

harryfan1 OMG SORRY DILF?!?!?!?

harryfan2 🌱IS BACK

y/nfan1 SORRY WHAT?????

harryfan3 @/y/nfan1 i wonder whether they’re dating???

harryfan4 THEY’RE SO CUTE I CANT

28,777 likes

yourinstagram vibes today📚

2,464 comments

y/nfan1 omg y/n are you a matilda movie fan??

yourinstagram @/y/nfan1 most definitely! she’s my favourite character ever! i just watched this movie tonight with someone and i fell in love even more.

harryfan1 matilda loving her books as much as y/n

y/nfan2 matilda is my guilty comfort movie

harryfan2 omg imagine y/n was watching this with harry…

25,837 likes

HSUpdates Harry and Y/N spotted getting cosy outside of a sushi restaurant in London today. (28/11/21).

3,546 comments

harryfan1 their relationship is the cutest fycking thing

harryfan2 i love how we keep getting secret pap photos of them just being completely in love❤️

y/nfan2 we’re officially adopting harry into our y/n fandom

HSUpdates @/y/nfan2 And we’re adopting Y/N into ours!

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y/ninstadiary (1/1/22) h sent me this today and i cried. i still sometimes have a hard time coming to terms with the fact he loves me. he brings me sunshine on my darkest of days. since our relationship has been public i’ve gotten better with getting to know my emotions and learning that it’s okay to feel. h has helped me so much, like he claims i’ve helped him too. he keeps on telling me that he has a song he wants to share with me but am i ready to hear it?

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harrystyles I know you’re ready. I’m here and you can hold my hands the entire time. You have my entire heart Y/N, so it’s going to be okay.🍋

15,827,232 likes

harrystyles Last night was not only special because I got to perform my third album for the first time, but because of a fan project that was in support of Y/N and the song Matilda. I was unaware this was taking place and was completely taken aback by how beautiful you all looked holding up your signs and your roses. Thank you for giving my Y/N some hope and love. You have now given her sun on the darkest of days, just as you have for me. Eternally grateful for all of you. Love you, H.

826,978 comments

y/nbff we have still yet to recover

harryfan2 thank you harry for writing a song as powerful as matilda🤍

yourinstagram im still sat crying on the floor

harrystyles liked this comment

annetwist Welcome home, Y/N💖

jeffazoff ❤️

109,757 likes

yourinstagram i started a family who will always show me love because of you. i love you. and i love every single one of you. i haven’t been able to stop crying. thank you.

32,646 comments

sarahjones You deserve the crown, queen 👑

harryfan1 proud of you y/n💜

y/nfan1 y/n we love you xx

gemmastyles 💛

harrystyles Strongest person I know. I love you. 

“Listen, you knew what you were getting into when we started this relationship.”

Harry Lambert was doing some finishing touches to your Harry’s outfit, playing around with the jewellery and placement of clothes.

“I didn’t sign up to play scrabble with you at 1A.M, only to then have to get up at 4.” You huffed in annoyance and crossing out of the room in search for coffee.

The corridors were long inside the Today Show studio, but you quickly found a table spread with pastries and coffees. You took a croissant and scoffed it down so quickly, because you hadn’t had breakfast yet. Harry had said he’d treat you to breakfast afterwards but you think you’ll just want to nap.

Whilst you were adding some milk to your coffee you felt his denim lined arms snake around your waist. He pressed himself against your back and tucked his nose into your neck to smell you. He was always going on about how you were his favourite scent.

“Are y’mad with me?” He asked, kissing your neck a few times as you stirred your coffee and added a lid.

“No.”

“Then what’s up? Talk to me.”

He let go of you so you could turn around. You left your coffee on the table so you could use your arms to snake around his neck. Harry knew what you really wanted and so let his arms scoop you underneath your bum, so he could pick you up and situate you around his waist.

Your face nuzzled against the fluff around his collar and you made a mental reminder for him to invest in more of these, they were such great neck pillows. He smelt really good and homely. It was too much comfort and it was willing you to go back to sleep.

“Just really tired. Sorry for my bad mood.” You yawned.

“It’s okay, baby. We’ll go to bed again after this, okay?”

“You’ll skip breakfast to cuddle with me?” You poked your head up to face him.

“Good. I’m glad.” You said, handing him his cup and placing yours down on the floor before you sat down yourself.

“Thanks. Is it the green tea m’mum shipped over?”

“Um, no. I think it was some sort of green tea from Walmart or something.” You shrugged, allowing your feet to dangle into the pool water. It was so soft and warm against your ankles.

“Need to ask her to send some over then.” He said, taking a sip before placing it back down.

“Not ready to go home then?”

You’d been having this conversation a lot, about when you should go back over to England. Sometimes it was as if Harry neglected it on purpose and you were always unsure of why, but you knew he also missed his mum and sister especially. You’d tried to get him to really consider going back recently, but work kept on tying him to California.

“You know I can’t.” He dropped his head and you went back to softly kicking your feet in the water.

“Mhm.”

“What?” He asked, making you look up at him.

“What?”

“You’re doing that thing where you have something to say but you’re being too polite to say it.” He raised his eyebrows and it was annoying how well he knew you. After 4 years today you’d think he would really know you though.

“I am?”

“Yes. Now tell me. Please.”

You gripped your hands on the edge of the pool instead of taking a sip from your tea. It was too hot anyways and you probably wouldn’t drink from it for another 20 minutes.

“It’s just… Does this feel like home to you, H?” Referring to not just this house but also California in general.

“I, uh, I guess?”

“Okay.” You nodded your head, not sure how else to talk to him about this when he had different views. And after such a good day and a good interview, you’d hate to upset him and ruin it now.

It was comfortable silence for a few minutes. Neither of you spoke but you could feel where the conversation might lead to next. You both watched the last bright bolt of sun dip below the crests of the valley hills and listened to the crickets chirp their funny noises. You knew you’d have to go inside soon, due to how cool it got in the evenings out here, but for now you were both content sitting in each others presence.

“You’re trying to tell me something, aren’t you?” Harry asked.

You nodded, but didn’t say anything else. 

“Talk to me then baby.” He softly pushed, reaching over one of his hands to touch yours. He slipped his fingers through yours the best he could and you both melted at the homey contact.

“I don’t want to tell you like this.” You shook your head, trying to remove your hand from his but he wouldn’t let you. 

He brought is other hand to the other side of your body and shifted you along the floor until you were pressed up beside him. He twisted his body around and took ahold of your other hand, so both of his could fully clasp onto yours. He kissed your hands to show you that he was here for you and he loved you - more than you would ever comprehend. 

“Are you hurt? Are you in trouble? Is someone dying?” He asked quickly, trying to think of things that could possibly be wrong.

“I never said what I had to tell you was bad news.” You smiled.

“Then what, love?” He smiled back, reassuring you in any way he could.

“England has always been your home, H. Not just because it’s where you were born but because there’s family there. And because it’s your home, it’s also become mine. I love it there so much. I, um, I just don’t feel that here. Don’t get me wrong I adore this place so much, it’s beautiful, but I never feel settled. I want to feel settled. I want to feel at home. Especially now.” 

“Why now?” 

“Because we’re pregnant, H.” You breathed out, it feeling more of a relief to get it out rather than excitement. You were unsure what his reaction was going to be, so you had prepared yourself in this moment for anything.

“We’re pregnant?” He whispered, his eyes glossing over slightly. “I mean, you’re pregnant. There’s a baby in there and you’re going to be a mum and I’ll get to be a dad...” 

It sounded like his rushed words were going to turn into something more, but he couldn’t stop himself from simply crying. His body was overcome with tears and heavy sobs and you could tell by his body language and the tone of the cries that he was too happy. So overly happy that he was upset - and yes that was a thing. He was overjoyed. A feeling that didn’t come so often but when it did he didn’t know how to handle it. His body fell into yours, with his head resting on your chest. You detached your hands from his and scooped them around his back to cradle him.

Your own tears built, but more because you were happy to see Harry happy than anything. You felt his head dip down and his lips kiss over your dress on your stomach a few times, whispering ‘I love you’ in between each one. He then lifted his body up and found you. 

He cupped your cheeks and pressed his lips against yours fiercely, kissing you with every ounce of love he had inside of him. He kissed and kissed, dessert mixing with tea, until he knew that you both needed to breathe. His lips were crimson red when he pulled away from how harsh the kiss had been, yours slightly puffy too. 

“I fucking love you, y’know?” He choked out between hiccuping tears. “And I would do anything for you and, now, this one. If you want to go home baby, we’ll go home. I swear I love you so much and it’s my goddamn job to make sure you both have a happy life.” 

“But not at the expense of your own happiness H. So if you want to stay here, that’s okay.” You nodded, but he shook his head.

“No. I want our baby to grow up where I grew up and with the people I grew up with too. I want normal and this is all too Hollywood to be normal.” He explained and you understood him perfectly, because you felt exactly the same. 

“I’m so happy you’re happy.” You laughed.

“Of course I’m happy, lovie. You are the single most important person in my life, but now you’re giving me another. That’s special and I’m glad I’m doing it with you.” 

"When have I ever dropped you?" He says, walking in time with the plate so that he was always in front of you.

“Um, that time we tried to do the ‘Dirty Dancing’ lift?” 

“Okay, apart from that.”

“The time where you told me to crowd surf and...”

“Yeah okay shut up you. Now get over here so I can practice.” 

Harry held out his hand for you and you heavily sighed, to show him that you really didn’t want to do this, before stepping up onto the spinning plate. You immediately fell over, due to not being used to how fast it was actually spinning.  Harry tried to catch you, but failed miserably and went down with you himself. 

“Can someone slow this plate down please?” He asked one of the crew runners, laughing because of how ironic it was that you’d just both fallen over after your previous conversation.

“I hate you.” You laughed.

“Same.”

After you both got up and the plate was spinning slower you prepared to do the lift that Harry was planning. He cupped his one arm underneath your armpits and started to lean back. Your feet were on your tiptoes and the plate was getting faster to build up momentum, so it would be easier to make you fly.

“Trust me.” Harry whispered, before he lifted you up a bit more and your feet left the ground. He had a tight hold on you and you let yourself laugh over the free movement. 

“Yeah!” You shouted, spreading your arms wide. Harry took the time to smile at you and take in how beautiful you looked. 

Harry was currently trying to pamper you after a hard day with editing. Your Sunday’s were reserved for editing so that your content would be ready for the week. The whole day you had been sitting at your desk, typing away at your desk with little to no breaks and now Harry was trying to distract you for the evening. He was worried you were overworking and that you’d give yourself bad burnout. 

“All I’m asking is that you come shower with me.” He said, sitting on the edge of your bed patiently. 

You’d not moved in with each other yet, but the amount of time you spent with each other you might as well be. The topic of moving in with each other hadn’t arisen yet, but when it did you were more than happy to say a big yes. 

“And I need to edit this video.” 

“When are you uploading it?” 

You rolled your eyes, preempting his reaction. “It’s my monthly what i’ve read video.” 

“So it’s for uploading at the end of the month?” He asked. 

“Yes.” 

“And it’s currently the 3rd.” 

“Okay.” 

“Nope. That’s it.” 

Before you could ask what was up, he had swivelled your chair around and picked you up from underneath. 

“Harry! Oh my God, H!” You laughed but also screamed, latching onto him as he manhandled you across the room and onto your bed. 

He threw you down on top of the bed and before you could escape, rolled you over, as well as your duvet, so that you were burrito rolled up. Your head was the only part of you that was visible. You tried moving your arms but they were tucked tightly to your sides. You continued to laugh as Harry kept you steady. 

“Woah, woah. Careful.” He said with a hint of concern when you nearly tipped yourself over the edge of the bed.

“I don’t even think it would hurt if I fell I’m that bundled up.” You chuckled, thanking him for pulling you away from the edge. He climbed on top of you so he was straddling himself over your stomach. 

“Y’look fucking adorable right now.” 

“I feel like I’ve been mummified.”

Harry laughed at your comment, before taking out his phone and snapping a few funny photos of you. You didn’t even bother posing, knowing Harry would only take good photos of you anyways - it was his superpower. He even put his ringed hand on your cheek at one point and caught a photo of you kissing his palm. He immediately set it as his lock screen.

“Ever had a shawarma wrap?” He asked you, putting his phone to the side.

“Yeah?”

“Y’look like one sexy shawarma wrap, right now.” He said and it made you giggle. Then he leaned down and started kissing away at your exposed cheeks, lips and neck.

“Harry stop!” You laughed away, not being able to control the giggles.

Taking a deep breath, you finally admit, "It's just, I have a small chest. When most girls got full, plump boobs during puberty, I got a tiny bit of fatty tissue and that's it. You wouldn't have a lot to cup with the size of your hands." Harry honestly wants to giggle at your confession. Not in a rude way or a way as in making fun of you. But for the fact that you think he actually cares about such things.

Harry couldn't care less what your body looks like. He's attracted to your beautiful soul and personality rather then if you have large tits or not. But not wanting you to feel bad, he makes soft facial expressions and replies, "Love, that's alright. I don't care about how big your breasts are. Whether I can cup them in my hands properly or not. They are still a part of you and I love you. So therefore I love your small boobs." You could cry at his nice words. Fuck, your boyfriend is too sweet.

Leaning down a bit, you capture Harry's wine stained lips again, tasting the bitter alcohol on his tongue. Then blindly, you reach down in search of his hands. When you find them, you bravely pull each hand towards your shirt covered boobs. You can feel Harry is hesitant at first but soon realizes when you keep his hands in place that its okay.

This time it's you backing away from the kiss and with heavy breaths, you instruct, "Touch them, Harry. Not just over my shirt. You can slip your hands under my shirt and bra if you want."

With a nervous sigh, Harry questions, "You sure? Don't have too if...."

"Yes, I'm sure, Harry," you cut him off, "I trust you. Want to take our relationship to the next step. May not be ready for full on sex just yet but a bit of groping is fine." With your confirmation, Harry wastes no time in gliding his callused hands up under your shirt and beneath your thick padded bra. When you feel his fingers dance over your naked boobs, you allow a shiver to run through your body before diving right back into the make-out session.

Harry continues to softly caress your breasts and pinch your nipples and when you felt his cock harden in his pants below you, you decided to rock your hips into his, making him gasp in your mouth. Next time you think you'll be comfortable enough to allow his eyes to view your small chest but for now, his hands will have to do.

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(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND ITS FREE SO JUST DO IT)

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______________

So despite the heavy feeling in his heart, Harry was giving his show. 

You were sat on a stray stool, body arched uncomfortably as you watched him from what seemed like shadows with a smile on your face that you couldn’t control, but it was during the times when he talked that you seemed to put effort into shutting your thoughts and listening to him.

Never had you ever thought about being in the position you were in. You never thought you’d have to share Harry in any way, fake or not. You never would’ve guessed that there would be another pair of lips to kiss his and it wasn’t even a movie. It was all real, and you were watching from a backstage area even when he was nowhere near an arena.

Your throat was tight with tears and emotions you wished you could suppress, eyes stinging with tears you wanted so badly to control that it had given you a headache. You felt like shit and you hated that out of all nights, it was that one night. You hated that you felt like shit because of your relationship. 

You caught the way he glanced to the side where he wished he could see you so many times. You watched his face shift, as if he was dropping a mask for a second or two before putting his game face on to the audience. So why did you feel so far away from him?

It was during Love Of My Life when you stood up and approached a crew member, “Hey,” you plastered a small smile, “If Harry asks, tell him I went back home, will you?”

He nodded, “Are…you okay?” He awkwardly asked, “Do you need anything?”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you,” you smiled again before grabbing your phone to request a car as you left the arena. 

Harry was feeling like shit. It was crazy how he could stand on a stage, singing to people who were screaming his name and dressed to the nines to see him and he was feeling like shit, but he was. His stomach felt funny, his heart felt heavy, and he felt like the lyrics didn’t make sense when the subject of all his inspiration was sad. It made him feel worse whenever he looked at Anne and Gemma and found Olivia between them, the place where you should have been.

It wasn’t a surprise that he was rushing after he finished, taking long strides to backstage so he could find you.

He was mid-step when a hand reached and was placed on his shoulder, making him turn and look at a familiar face from the crew, “Hey, mate, your friend told me to let you know that she went home.”

Friend. 

Harry’s mouth felt dry, taking a breath in as he nodded before giving the guy a small fake smile, “Thanks, mate.”

And then he was worried some more.

Post-show rituals were cut short. He wasn’t completely focused as he was getting complimented on the show and receiving hugs and cheek kisses from those close. He wanted to go home.

It was ironic how he was speeding to you, but you were packing a duffle bag to leave the very place he wanted nothing more than to be at. 

“Stupid tears,” you mumbled to yourself before sniffling, “Stupid fucking tears giving me a fucking headache.” 

You had changed your clothes into a more comfortable outfit, your face fresh because if you were going to take a decision this big, you at least wanted to feel clean from all the humid of backstage.

“Y/N?” You heard his voice and your stomach dropped, “Baby?”

You didn’t know what to say so you trusted that Harry would find you.

The air felt off, like something was happening and Harry hated it. He hated arguments with you. He hated when things weren’t okay with you.

But most of all, he hated the look you gave him the moment he found you in the room.

His eyes went from you to the bag before going back to you as you finished zipping it up. You awkwardly fiddled with your fingers, looking at him at the doorway. 

“What’s that?” 

You stayed quiet, glancing at the bag beside you before looking at him. 

“Y/N,” he softly called, taking anxious steps towards you as he pointed at the bag, “Are you leaving?” Harry asked, looking at you. It was like all words were wiped from your brain because Harry took a harsh breath before he spoke again, “Answer me, Y/N, please for fuck’s sake.”

“I’m leaving,” you replied quickly. 

“The house?” He asked, “Or me?” 

“I-” You paused, reaching up to rub your eye before sniffling, “I can’t do this.”

Harry let out a chuckle of disbelief, shaking his head slightly, “There’s no wa-Baby, I-” He shook his head again, “Let’s work it out, yeah? We can talk.”

“I’m done talking, Harry,” you cried, “You’re okay with this. You’re okay with pushing me to the background of your–of your fucking life so you could have publicity or whatever it is that Jeff wants,” you said, looking into his eyes, “And I don’t deserve that.”

“It’s almost over. It’s almo-”

“It’s not about the duration!” You snapped, “It’s the thought! It’s you being okay with me standing back there,” you pointed behind you, “Watching you like a fucking loser because I only want what’s best for you. But that’s the problem! That’s the fucking problem! I want what’s best for you,” you pointed at yourself before your shoulders slumped, sight going unclear as your eyes grew tearful, “And you want what’s best for you, too, and it doesn’t matter that I’m getting hurt in the middle.”

“You said you were fine with this at the beginning,” Harry said.

“I never said that,” you shook your head, “I said I want what’s best for you but you can’t read the fucking room. It shouldn’t be a surprise that your girlfriend is hurt by you kissing someone else, Harry. It shouldn’t.”

“So you were going to leave me? Without even talking to me?” Harry pointed at himself, jaw clenching but not in anger, but rather as if he was stopping himself from crying as his nose got red.

“I’m leaving, Harry,” you stated tiredly, “There’s no need for you to worry about anyone backstage anymore.”

“Can we–Please, we can talk,” his hands reached for yours. 

“Harry, please,” you sighed, looking at him, “What is there to talk about? How instead of telling Jeff to fuck off when he’s throwing all this stunt bullshit at you, you tell me that it’s going to end? How I had to watch you come to his and Glenne’s wedding with your hand in hers as I was told to blend in? How–How you knew I wanted nothing more than to support you tonight but you–God, Harry!” You cried, taking a step back as you wiped your cheek, “It’s like you know I’ll always be here, waiting for you and you just–you just take advantage of it.”

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was making you–I didn’t know I was being like that,” he sniffled, grazing his bottom lip before he let a breath out, trying to calm down, “I promise you–”

Olivia was nothing but sweet to you. In fact, you could even say she sympathized with the situation you were in.

“Hey, Jeff.”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Everyone exchanged looks. From you to Harry, to Olivia to you, to Gemma to Anne.

Harry glanced from you to Jeff, furrowing his eyebrows as if to ask him what that was about.

Jeff only patted his shoulder as to assure him before motioning with his head behind him so you could talk.

Nervous butterflies were in your stomach as you followed him to a few steps away from the group you were standing it, fiddling with your fingers as you looked at him the moment you stopped, “What’s up?”

Jeff sighed, giving you a small smile, “Look I know you’ll hate me for this—“

“Then don’t say it,” you cut him off.

He chuckled, looking around the backstage for a second before looking back at you, “We’re going to need you to stay back here for the show.”

Your face shifted, looking at him as if he had two heads, “Stay back here? Why would I stay back here? You know I’m supposed to watch him from—“

“I know, I know,” he nodded, “But it’s better if it’s just Anne and Gemma and Olivia.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, your face falling. “Are you kidding me right now, Jeff?”

“You’ll still be able to see him well from back here I pro-“

“You know how special this show is,” you shook your head in disbelief, “You know I don’t like watching him from backstage because I can’t properly see him.”

No matter how hard he tried, Harry couldn’t hear you. His eyes were set on you and Jeff, nervously grazing his bottom lip with his finger as he did. It was only when he noticed your body language that he realized you were angry, and he instantly approached you.

Harry put his hands on your waist, making you turn back to look at him the same moment your body relaxed before he stepped beside you, “What’s going on?”

You stayed quiet, avoiding their eyes as you looked at the ground to stop the angry tears from flowing and trying to work on steadying your breath.

Jeff sighed, putting his hands on his hips, “It’s better if it’s just Olivia up there with your family for the show.”

Harry was stunned, squeezing your hip with his hand as he looked at his manager, “Why is—And where would Y/N be?”

“Here. Backstage.”

“Jeff, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry shook his head, “I want her up there with Mum and Gem,” he said.

“It’ll only start rumors about you two having something goi-“

“We’re fucking together!” You snapped, pointing between yourself and Harry, “Have been for 3 years before you decided that it’s bad for his image.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Jeff tried, “You know that’s not how it is.”

“I actually don't, Jeff,” you shook your head at him.

Harry moved his hand to your shoulder, bringing you to his side as he soothingly rubbed up and down your arm.

“Well then I’m sorry for caring about his image and numbers,” Jeff frowned, “And I’m sorry that it’s statistically going according to the plan you hate so much.”

“Come on, Jeff,” Harry sighed, “Tonight’s a big deal to me.”

“That’s why only Olivia should be up there, I’m sorry,” Jeff replied, “That’s all I have to say. This is everything we’ve been working towards and I’d hate for it to get fucked now,” he said, raising his hands up before leaving the both of you.

You both stood in silence for a moment, your jaw clenching and your eyes burning from how you were trying to control your emotions.

“Backstage isn’t so bad,” Harry attempted to joke and it only broke your heart.

You looked at him, almost shocked that he said so, “You’re okay with me watching you from back here?”

His face fell as he looked at yours.

“Are you?” You asked again.

“No, I-“ Harry shook his head before standing in front of you and putting both hands on your arms, “This whole thing is almost over, baby. I have so many more shows I’m going to play that are going to be pretty special, too.”

“I can’t believe you,” you chuckled in disbelief, avoiding his eyes as you felt like you were going to get a whiplash from all the emotions that were bursting within you.

“This is not what I want,” he said, “You know well that this isn’t what I w-“

“I don’t think I do anymore.”

“Y/N-Baby, don’t be like that,” he sighed, bringing you in his arms as he hugged you, “I’m sorry.”

You were almost limp in his arms; having no energy to wrap yours around him. 

“What matters the most is that you’re here.”

And that was when the tears fell.

You pulled away, looking at him, “So you don’t really care that I won’t be seeing you properly?”

“I-“

“That instead, your fake girlfriend will get to be with your family and watch you tonight as if it’s it’s a big deal to her?” 

“I want nothing more than for it to be you with Mum and Gem,” he quickly said, “But as Jeff said, we’ve already come far. We just need to push it a little further, baby. Then it’s over.”

You wiped your cheeks, sniffling as you shrugged his hands off. You leaner closer, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “Have a good show, H. I’m proud of you.”

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,908 others

harryupdates “I write about my personal experiences so yeah, there’s going to be songs on this album about the time we spent together, just as there’s going to be songs about other people in my life and stuff I’ve experienced” - Harry about if there’s going to be songs about YN on Harry’s House, via the Howard Stern Show

view all 459 comments

harryfan1 i hate stern

harryfan2 as someone who listened to the leak album.. there’s a lot of songs that scream yn

↳ harryfan3 don’t spoil

ynfan1 when is he going to stop bringing her up

↳ harryfan1 maybe when interviewers stop asking about her

liked by spaceykacey, fingermonkey and 6,235,734 others

harrystyles Harry’s House. Out now.

view all 106,735 comments

harryfan1 BEST ALBUM EVER

harry_lambert ❤️❤️❤️❤️

fingermonkey So proud ❤️

↳ harryfan2 awww adorable

ynfan1 the songs about yn are the best

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,987 others

harryupdates Official lyrics from “Little freak”

view all 454 comments

harryfan1 damn

ynfan1 and that’s how the best song on his album it’s about yn

↳ harryfan2 annoying

harryfan2 i don’t know why are people surprised, harry said they were going to be songs about their time together on the album

ynfan2 i wonder how she feels about thisss

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 1,865 others

ynupdates YN via instagram stories !

view all 408 comments

ynfan1 AN ICON

ynfan2 omfg is that jacob?

↳ ynfan3 yeeees

ynfan4 she’s really an icon. being unapologetically happy with her new boyfriend and not caring about drama, i love her

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 73,987 others

enews The rumors are true. Jacob Elordi and YN are the new IT couple. Link in our bio for the full story.

view all 17,836 comments

ynfan1 LETS GOOO

ynfan2 ahhh i’m so happy for her

harryfan1 the blue hat is giving harry’s fisherman hat

ynfan3 i love them

liked by selenagomez, madisonbeer and 1,529,072 others

yourinstagram THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. JUNE 3RD

my second studio album is about to be yours, i wrote this record during a time where heartbreak was all i could feel, but also how i healed and blossomed again.

i hope you love it as much as i do

view all 49,863 comments

ynfan1 IM SO READYYYYY

conangray i’m so proud of you it’s insane

oliviarodrigo I CANT WAIT 🤍🤍🤍

ynfan2 i’m so ready for those diss tracks

jacobelordi ❤️❤️

↳ ynfan1 all he comments is hearts it’s so funny

annetwist Congratulations 🥰

↳ harryfan1 ANNE?

↳ harryfan2 help they still have a good relationship i guess

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,906 others

harryandcamille Camille watching Harry perform tonight !

view all 503 comments

harryfan1 she’s so pretty

harryfan2 harry is with camille, yn is with jacob. i know we loved them as a couple but they’re happy now and that’s what matters

↳ ynfan1 agreed

liked by yourinstagram, fingermonkey and 6,802,178 others

harrystyles Thank you, thank you, thank you. My love for you has no end. I hope you’re enjoying ‘Harry’s House’

view all 96,267 comments

harryfan1 i’m so proud of you

fingermonkey ❤️❤️

ynfan1 YN LIKED ??

yourinstagram 🤍

↳ harryfan1 HUH?

↳ ynfan2 it’s good to know they’re in good terms i guess

harryfan3 his gf and ex in the comment section i can’t

annetwist ❤️❤️

liked by lizzobeeating, jenniferaniston and 7,082,200 others

harrystyles As It Was. April 1.

view all 98,236 comments

harryfan1 OMGGG HARRY

fingermonkey ❤️❤️

↳ harryfan2 supportive gf

↳ ynfan1 stream happier than ever !!

harryfan3 i’m so ready !!

ynfan2 i wonder if this song is about yn

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 6,837 others

ynsupremacy I SAW YN WITH JACOB TONIGHT !! YES THOSE ARE YN AND JACOB ELORDI

view all 1,985 comments

ynfan1 WTFFFF

ynfan2 that’s why he kept commenting on her insta posts :00

harryfan1 good now she can stop writing songs about harry

ynupdates Please remember how important it is to respect their privacy

↳ ynfan3 you can tell by the way they’re dressed that they didn’t want to be noticed

↳ ynfan4 AGREED

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 5,937 others

harryupdates “I mean it’s a good song, everyone can write about their personal experiences, I’m not offended by it and I wish her well, I’m always going to wish her well, so yeah” - Harry on how does he feel about YN’s song ‘Happier than ever’

view all 1,873 comments

harryfan1 that was awkward

harryfan2 bullshit… they should’ve asked questions about as it was only

ynfan1 COWARD

ynfan2 we know he’s petty bc yn has a new boyfriend

↳ harryfan3 and harry has a gf.. move on!

liked by jacobelordi, madisonbeer and 1,388,063 others

yourinstagram in this world it’s just… me and my mj merch

view all 44,837 comments

ynfan1 AN ICON

conangray GIIIRRLLL

jacobelordi By me ❤️

↳ ynfan2 literally waiting till they confirm they’re dating

harryfan1 using harry lyrics for clout…

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,957 others

harryupdates Harry with Camille Rowe today

view all 468 comments

harryfan1 i love them

harryfan2 i miss yn

↳ ynfan1 let yn go he doesn’t deserve her

ynfan2 why does h*rry and his new gf keep showing up on my discover page

harryfan4 people who “want yn back” are annoying, harry is happy with camille

liked by troyesivan, iamhalsey and 1,097,836 others

yourinstagram you were my everything and all that you did was make me fucking sad

view all 37,937 comments

ynfan1 well DAMN

conangray they’re not ready

ynfan2 SONG LYRICS ???

harryfan1 get over it for real

↳ ynfan3 why are you on her page? jobless

madisonbeer 👀👀👀

ynfan4 oh that diss track is COMING

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,963 others

harryupdates Camille Rowe via instagram stories

view all 498 comments

harryfan1 cuties <3

harryfan2 this is so public omg

ynfan1 anyway pre save yn’s new single now

↳ harryfan1 why are you promoting your fave here ?

↳ harryfan3 🙄🙄🙄

harryfan4 the fact that harry has been silent it’s funny lol

liked by selenagomez, sabrinacarpenter and 1,998,037 others

yourinstagram ‘HAPPIER THAN EVER’ OUT NOW

view all 52,836 comments

ynfan1 OMGGGGGGG

oliviarodrigo THINGS YOU DID: THAT

ynfan2 this single cover and the song are just EVERYTHING

conangray I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭😭❤️

harryfan1 i hate to admit that this is a good song

selenagomez So proud of you ❤️❤️

↳ ynfan1 SEL 🥺🥺

ynfan3 harry was found flying out of the country

liked by ynfan1, ynupdates and 2,109 others

ynfanaccount harry styles after listening to the lyrics “you’re clearly unaware that you made miserable”, “you made me hate this city” “shut em all out for you cause i was a kid” and “you ruined everything good”

view all 508 comments

ynfan1 istg this song just made me hate him even more

ynfan2 all jokes aside, this song just proves that he really hurt her bad

harryfan1 LEAVE HARRY ALONE

ynfan3 okay but “i don’t talk shit about you on the internet never told anyone anything bad”

harryfan2 harry is unbothered with his new girlfriend

liked by harryupdates, harryfan1 and 308,548 others

enews Harry Styles spotted with model Camille Rowe in Los Angeles tonight, two weeks after ending his relationship with singer YN YLN. Link in bio for the full story.

view all 22,749 comments

harryfan1 well DAMN

ynfan1 YN deserves so much better

harryfan2 they could be friends ffs

ynfan2 i hope yn writes a diss track about this lmao

harryfan3 as long as harry is happy i’m happy too

liked by conangray, sabrinacarpenter and 964,329 others

yourinstagram and you’re probably with that blonde girl, who always made me doubt, she’s so much older than me she’s everything i’m insecure about

omg i’m just olivia rodrigo and taylor swift lyrics glued together 🫀

view all 54,389 comments

ynfan1 WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH

oliviarodrigo MY BABY 🥺

ynfan2 you’re hotter than the ~blonde girl btw

harryfan1 i hope all fans stay respectful to both yn and harry

↳ ynfan1 nah, harry can get lost

↳ harryfan2 same thing about your fave 🤷‍♀️

conangray bitch get tf up heartbreak doesn’t suit you

↳ yourinstagram i love you

liked by harryupdates, harryfan2 and 3,749 others

sweetcreaturehs umm guys.. i saw harry and camille today

harryfan1 UMMM WTF

ynfan1 why was this in my discover page…

harryfan2 bestie give us the context please

↳ sweetcreaturehs won’t give much details for privacy reasons, but they’re definitely in a relationship, they were touchy all night

↳ harryfan3 WELL

ynfan2 anyway who’s ready for YN2?

liked by annetwist, madisonbeer and 954,389 others

yourinstagram taking a little social media break 🤍 i’ll be doing hikes and writing songs in the meantime. love you all, stay safe

view all 58,929 others

ynfan1 we’re going to miss you so much ! take care of yourself

sabrinacarpenter ❤️❤️

ynfan2 WE LOVE YOU

annetwist Take care dear xx

↳ yourinstagram 🤍

↳ harryfan1 her and anne are still close that’s adorable

↳ ynfan3 is this harry from his mom’s account?

y/n was a fairly affectionate person, but nobody ever took it as a bad characteristic of hers. her friends, her family, her patients, they always said that they appreciated that about her, and so did harry.

but it seemed to her that perhaps he had started to change his mind.

her thoughts went back to all of the affection and intimacy they shared. was it all fake? the sole thought of that was enough to make her heart ache even more than it already was.

wiping a tear that slipped down her left cheek, y/n accidentally ended up knocking down the small box of jewellery harry kept by the table. immediately crouching down to pick up the rings.

the sudden noise catching his attention, “y/n? baby, is that you?”

she stoped herself from cringing at the nickname.

“uh yes. it’s me.” she clears her throat before replying.

he gets up from his seat, waking over to her, placing his hand on her hip, leaning in to give her a “hello”-kiss.

she didn’t reject the kiss since his friends were watching, and she didn’t want to make a scene in front of them.

the usual small yet passionate, loving kiss with her putting her hand on his jaw and pulling him in for a hug afterwards was cut down to what was barely a peck, causing harry’s eyebrows to furrow.

“hey y/n!” louis called, followed by all the other boys greeting her.

“come on over here! your favourite movie is on.” niall patted the empty space on the couch next to him.

“as much as i’d love that, i just received a call from the hospital in the car, they need me back there. a patient of mine went into labour.” y/n lied. “i just came in to pick up a few things, and then i’ll be heading back out.”

“but you just came back from work.” harry argued.

y/n chose to pretend as she didn’t hear him.

“come back soon, alright? drive safely.” liam said. he cared about y/n deeply, she was not only one of his best friends, but easily one of the most precious people he’d even known.

she smiled softly, “i will.”

reaching the door, she tried her best to ignore harry and the disappointed, pouty look he was giving her.

just as she was about to walk out, she felt her arm being tugged, pulling her back in.

putting a hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him, their bodies pressed together.

“want to fucking sue the department for keeping my girlfriend away from me” he whispers, with a small smirk, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

y/n gulps, avoiding eye-contact knowing well enough she’d let her guard down as soon as she meets his gaze.

she just nods in reply, trying to escape his grip around her, and leave as soon as possible.

as the door shut, it left this foreign hurt feeling in harry’s stomach.

his y/n never left without saying that she loves him.

but harry quickly shrugged it off, telling himself that it was only that she was in a rush to get to the hospital.

reaching back home at about 2 in the morning, after what could only be called a torturous car ride of self-doubt, anxious thoughts, and quite a few tears, y/n was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep.

“welcome home.”

she flinched, startled by the sudden noise.

“god.” she whispers, putting a hand to her chest.

“where were you?” he crosses his arms. “you didn’t even answer any of my calls, i was worried sick. it’s 2 in the morning, for fuck’s sake, y/n!”

“i was at the hospital, i had already told you.”

“were you, now?” his lips pressed into a thin line.

“you know what, harry? i really don’t feel like doing this right now. you said it, it’s 2 in the morning, alright? i just want to go to bed already.” she walks past him to go upstairs.

she reaches the room, quickly picking out a change of clothes and heading to the restroom.

closing the door behind her, she placed her temple on the back of it and sighed sadly.

she hated lying to him.

trying to shake off the disgusting feeling of guilt settled in her stomach, she splashes water on her face, rushing through the rest of her nightly routine.

after changing into a more comfortable set of clothes, she opened the door, to find him sitting up on the bed, with his back resting against the headboard.

she kept her gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding any sort of eye contact, before getting into her side of the bed.

she tried to keep as much distance with him as she possibly could.

his words had hurt her deeply.

and as much as she knew what she was doing was immature and a bit childish, she couldn’t bring herself to actually speak to him about it.

whether it was the fear of loosing him for good, or anxiety of what the outcome of the situation might be, she simply could not do it.

harry looked at her seemingly sleeping figure. her back turned to him.

never once did y/n ever do that.

going to sleep without saying goodnight, or wrapping her arms around him, placing her head on his chest, saying that she found comfort being able to feel his heartbeat.

and if all that wasn’t enough to hurt him, he noticed the space on the bed between the two.

she is just tired. it is almost 2:30 in the morning, harry. he consoled himself.

hesitantly moving himself closer to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, her back pressed against his chest.

“good night, lovie.” he said in a whisper so low that he could barely hear himself.

y/n had taken picked up more shifts at the hospital, yes, but it was only partly because of what was going on between her and harry. her promotion was big, they had made her the junior head of the her department. she was the youngest person to ever be. her whole team was extremely proud of her, especially her tía, who, by the way, knew immediately that something was wrong when she came back the next day.

y/n wasn’t actually related to tía, but she insisted on her to call her that since she always saw a reflection of her kids in her.

tía’s kids all lived in foreign countries, and only ever met her once or twice an year, and so was the case with y/n and her family.

tía had been a nurse at the hospital far before y/n was even a resident.

she took care of y/n as her own daughter and loved her unconditionally.

so, when y/n came to the hospital the next day, and despite the fact that she had a smile on her face, greeting all the nurses and staff, tía could easily tell that she wasn’t actually fine.

“i know how to read your face damn well, y/l/n. this little smile of your’s? not a single bit genuine. now tell me what’s wrong so your tía can fix it for you.” she replied, when y/n asked her just how does she always do that.

“i don’t really think you can fix this one, tía.” she sighs.

“try me.” she said, taking a seat next to y/n.

“well, let’s see, my boyfriend thinks i’m clingy.”

“which boyfriend? that sweet boy harry?”

“no, tía, the other one. you know, out of the seven.” she says in a sarcastic tone, a small smirk playing on her lips.

in the reply to which, tía threw the couch pillow on her. “don’t you get all sarcastic on me.”

she chuckled lightly, shaking her head a bit, before she told her everything that went down.

“oh, my baby!~” she quickly takes y/n in her arms, holding her close. “you tell me, you want me to give that boy a piece of mind?”

she lets out a breathy laugh, despite the tears that welled up in her eyes. “god, no. i’m pretty sure he still has a will to live.”

tía playfully hits her back before letting out a small chuckle herself.

“after this shift of our’s in done, you’re coming home with me, alright? i’ll make you that pasta you really like, and we’ll watch some movies, and eat icecream!”

she lets a laugh through her nose, “i’d really like that.” her voice muffled from her cheek being so tightly pressed up against tía’s chest. “thank you, tía. i love you.”

“i love you too, baby.” she presses a kiss to her head.

“tía, he has called me twice, and you haven’t let me pick up once. he knows when my shift ends.”

“he doesn’t deserve it. he ‘wanted space for once’, so he’ll get it.” she says, cutting up the vegetables needed to make y/n’s favourite pasta. “that fucker.” she adds in a whisper.

“tía! i heard that!”

“yeah? well, nobody talks like that about my baby!” she scoffs, “i hate him.”

“you hate him?” y/n laughs.

“okay, can i at least text him to let him know i’m here?”

tía takes a deep breath, “fine, but just one.” she says in a strict tone.

“yes, ma’am.” she chuckles, pulling out her phone from her back pocket.

unlocking it, y/n feels a certain hesitance. the same as she did speaking to him or being around him since the incident. it was unsettling.

“at tía’s for tonight. please don’t stay waiting up for me, could take me a while.”

she typed before clicking sent.

she sighed, feeling a sense of sadness.

and guilt, for some reason.

seeing y/n’s text made his heart break a little.

he was looking forward to seeing her tonight and perhaps, even cooking dinner for her.

y/n has been far too distant. avoiding speaking to him unless its necessary, absolutely no sort of affectionate unless he was the one who initiated it, avoided saying ‘i love you’, hell, she didn’t even call him any of those cute nicknames anymore. only ever called him harry.

he missed his y/n. he missed her voice, he missed her smile, he missed her presence, and most of all, he missed her touch.

her sweet little pecks that she’d place on his cheek out of nowhere. her slow, passionate kisses that’d make his head go dizzy. her hugs that’d be so full of love and comfort.

not actually being able to have it made harry realise just how much even her smallest of gestures meant to him.

those times he’d bend down to pick something up and she’d cover the corner of the table so it wouldn’t hurt him getting up, those times when she immediately knew when something bothered harry even just a little bit. how she’d leave him cute messages on post-it notes around the house.

god, did he miss her.

he felt so empty. her affection, her smile, her presence, all that is what made harry feel alive.

over time, and lots and lots of overthinking, harry had come to the conclusion that y/n’s distant behaviour, her lack of affection, the overall change in her personality was all a sign of the fact that she had fallen out of love with him.

perhaps, even found someone else of her liking.

so, when she came back home from her “long shift at the hospital”, with surprised eyes after noticing his presence, he decided to face the music and have a real conversation about it.

not doing that only ever broke him even more.

“weren’t you at the studio?” her words were like a knife to his chest.

“well, i was, but i came back a bit early, since we need to talk.”

“we do?” she takes a seat on the table with him, putting her keys on the side-table next to the door on the way. “something wrong?”

he gulps, “i know about him.”

y/n’s brows furrow, “who?”

he presses his lips into a thin line. “him, y/n. i know you’re cheating on me.”

her jaw clenches, feeling angered at the unreasonable aligations, “yeah? you got anything to support that?”

“you’ve been awfully distant, you’re away all the time, barely even talk to me, avoid me at all costs, and i can’t remember the last time you said that you loved me.”

“i asked for proof, harry. all this bullshit isn’t proof. give me real proof.” she struggles not to raise her voice.

“i know you weren’t at the fucking hospital that night! the night it all started! the night you came back home at 2 in the morning.” he gets up from his seat, feeling angered by her attitude. she was in the wrong here, not him.

“you want to know where i was that night? i was in my car, driving around, crying my eyes out, because my boyfriend was too busy bitching about me to his friends!” she gets up as well, sharp eyes meeting his.

“cheating on you” she scoffs, irritated.

“y-you heard that?” he asks in disbelief, voice almost as soft as a whisper.

“yeah, i heard that!” she plops back in her seat, huffing in frustration.

harry had barely ever seen her like this. genuinely tempered up, frustrated, irritation getting to the level where she near losing her patience.

he sits down beside her, hesitantly taking her hand in his. “you were never supposed to hear that.”

she doesn’t respond. she doesn’t even do as much as look at him. but harry doesn’t miss the small tear that slid down her cheek.

“i’m sorry, baby. i really am. i-i never intended for this to happen. you were never supposed to hear that. it was just me bullshiting around with the boys, and we had a bit too much to drink. i had no idea i had hurt you this much.” he wipes her cheek, hand still in her’s. “i am so, so sorry, baby. please don’t let this get to us. i didn’t mean a word.”

she finally turns to meet his eyes with her glossy ones. “how am i supposed to know that’s true? how am i supposed to believe it every time you say you love me, it’s not a lie? how am i supposed to live with knowing that my boyfriend may get sick of me at some point, and leave? how’s that fair?”

“in the last two weeks, i felt so empty, like— like a part of me was missing. one that i wasn’t sure if i could ever live without. one that was the only reason i ever wanted to smile, one that was the inspiration to every word i wrote, one that meant to me more than myself. you, y/n y/l/n, are that part. you make me complete. you make me happiest i have ever been. you’re the reason. you’re the reason for everything. if it weren’t for you, i don’t know if i’d be standing in the place that i am in today. everything i am, and everything i ever will be, it all belongs to you, baby. you’re- you’re my y/n.” he fails to blink away the tears that fill his eyes, “i’m nothing without you.”

her chin trembles, “i don’t know, harry. it’s just that hearing you say all those words, it broke me. it was like every doubtful sense of insecurity i had, got confirmed. every single one. that too by the one person i love the most. never did i ever think that you, of all people, would be the one who caused me so much pain. and just now, you were accusing me of cheating on you.” her eyes meet his, “you really think i’d ever do something like that?”

“i thought i lost you, y/n. i thought i lost you forever. and the only explanation that came to mind about your behaviour was that, perhaps you had found someone else of your liking, and to say the least, that broke me. it made me feel so hollow on the inside. the sole day when i heard your receptionist say that you hadn’t been back there since the ‘celebration’,— i think she said?— i could feel my heart break into a million piece. it wasn’t even because of the thought that you might be with somebody else, i wasn’t even thinking of that. just the fact that you felt that you needed to lie to me. that-that you couldn’t stay at your own home because i was there, like you were sick of me.”

“that’s exactly how i felt, harry. that you were sick of me. every hour of the day. except you could only assume that was the case, for me, i heard the man i love actually say it.” she smiled, sadly.

all the pain harry felt in the last few days was absolutely nothing compared to what he felt seeing that look on his love’s face.

with that, harry broke down, falling down on his knees in front of her. sobs taking over his body uncontrollably, hands trembling, tears blurring his vision.

y/n’s eyes widened the sight, immediately kneeling down in front of him, taking his face in her hands.

“shh, harry. it’s alright, darling. i’m right here.” she consoled him, pulling him into her chest.

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” he said between the sobs, holding her tightly.

she put her hand in his hair, scratching lightly, which only encouraged more tears to fall out of his eyes.

there was nothing he missed more than feeling her touch.

her touch was comforting in every sense. the purity and genuine care was obvious when it was felt.

it was what some call a magic touch.

“i’m sorry, baby.” he repeated, feeling a bit calmed down in her arms, yet the tears didn’t seem to stop.

“i know, lovie. i know.” she said, feeling so much pain from seeing him in such a condition. “i need you to take a deep breath for me, can you do that?”

she further guides him through syncrinising his breathing.

once he’s feeling calmed down, he immediately apologises for his sudden outburst.

“you know you don’t have to apologise for that. it’s not something that is in your hands. would you apologise for laughing out loud when you heard something genuinely funny?”

he smiled, looking at her before fixing his gaze onto his lap.

“i really am sorry about everything. i wish i could go back in time and take it back. but at this point, there is nothing i can do. i can’t believe i ruined a relationship that meant so much to me, with my own hands.” he lets out a bitter chuckle.

she reaches for his hand on his knee, “it’s not all ruined yet, we can still work on it.”

his head turns to her almost immediately, eyes lighting up at her words, but then he stops himself.

“no, y/n. you’re right. it’s unfair for you. you’ll be stuck with living with this sense of doubt every day, and no matter what i do, i won’t be able to help it. as selfish as i am, i can’t see you in pain. ever.”

y/n lets out a small laugh through her nose, “just the fact that you said that proves that i’m never going to find someone who loves me even half as much as you do, and that i wouldn’t ever be able to love anyone else either. you made a mistake, harry. we all do at some point.”

“you sure about this?”

“yeah. of course we’ll need to work a lot on our relationship, but yes, i’m sure. i’m in love with you, only you. there’s no one else i want to spend the rest of my life with, and so i want to work on us, so we can grow old together just like we planned, yeah?” harry nods, a smile making its way up to his lips, “and let’s be honest, i don’t think there are many people out there who’re capable of handling my mood swings.”

he lets out a genuine laugh at that. something he hadn’t quite experienced since the last few days.

“glad to hear you finally stop denying on having them.” the two share a chuckle.

harry hesitantly reaches for her cheek, getting on his knees to lean in closer to her lips.

she removes her hand from the carpet underneath them to rest it on the side of his neck gently.

his lips hovering over hers, desperate to fill in the gap.

“is it okay if i?” he spoke against her lips.

she just nodded, feeling just as needy to kiss him.

with that, he gently presses his lips onto hers.

her lips moving against his passionately, with so much love and emotion into the kiss.

harry missed this feeling so much over the last few days.

the feeling of her soft lips against his, feeling her touch on his skin.

the sudden rush inside his body, feeling his heartbeat increase by the second, just as it did the first time he ever kissed her.

but in no way would harry say that he loves y/n the same as he did before. everyday he falls more and more deeply in love with the beautiful, caring, amazing girl he has the pleasure of calling his love.

she could feel him smile as she kissed him.

suddenly, she pulls away, startling harry.

“i’m sorry, i thought it was—“

“no, no! i just realised that i never got a chance to intoduce you to the newest junior head of the obstetrician and gynaecologist department?”

harry’s eyes widen, “do you mean what i think you mean?”

she nods excitedly.

“oh my god, y/n!” he gets up from the floor, picking her up in his arms, spinning her around.

“i’m so proud of you, darling.” he whispers into her neck.

“thank you, baby.” she grins.

“you deserve all of it and so much more—“ he cuts himself off, “wow, we need to celebrate this!”

“oh no, that’s not really necessary.”

“you cannot possibly stop me from doing this.” he kisses her cheek, “now, bye-bye, i have a lot to prepare.”

with that, he runs off leaving an enamoured y/n looking after him with an adoring smile.

that’s when y/n realised that the walls that felt like they were suffocating her just hours ago, seemed to feel like home again.