{Mini Adult}

if you brought shakespeare back to life and showed him the lion king i bet he’d be like “this shit fucks why didn’t anyone tell me i could use lions” 

my cat does this before he pukes

that comment just absolutely took me out

no gf we die like gamers

thrussy stays tight

this is by far the worst response i’ve gotten on this post, well done

unfortunately, that’s the answer. there are muscles in your esophagus that prevent food from coming back up

For personal reasons I will be putting on a play recreating my father’s murder in an attempt to elicit guilt from my uncle

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

*plays assassins creed to study for my ap history exam*

This is actually really funny. In high school my humanities teacher told us a story about one of the Europe trips he had gone on with the school a few summers past. So him and the group of kids were in the middle of Rome and the tour guide had gotten lost. They could figure out how to get to some church they were going to see. All of a sudden one of the students like call attention to himself. He says he knows where to go and just start walking around the streets, taking back roads and side streets and within 20 mins they’re at the church they needed to get to. My teacher asks the kid if he has every been to Italy before. He says no, he just knew where to go because he played Assassins Creed Brotherhood.

your work is appreciated

It’s 1:30 am and I’m cackling like a deranged witch

They took the man’s cake design like they are so low down

Update on #cakegate.

Omg this is madness

I never heard the end of this story!