timmy

Dear Mr. Oswalt,

First off, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tim Brenner. I’m 18 years old and from the NYC area. I first came across your stand-up comedy when I was about 12 or 13 years old. My family and I were about to leave for a weekend vacation and my brothers and I were waiting around, counting down to when we would leave. So, my brother, John, took out his laptop and decided to show me and my other brother, Matt, a stand-up comedy album called “Feelin’ Kinda Patton.” It was brilliant. We especially were laughing at the bit entitles “My Christmas Memory.” We were dying with laughter. We also listened to some bits in which you talk about your depression and your dealings with it. I did not understand those bits about depression. 

Then, several years went by. I was about 16 years old. I had re-discovered your comedy albums. And, it was not long after, that I began endlessly searching for your sets on YouTube and every other facet of media. It was also around this time that  I had started having my own struggles with depression. And when I would listen to all your albums on repeat, I found something new. A new way of dealing with depression. That is, making jokes about it. That was a revelation for me. I had never known that the power depression has over someone can be weakened by making jokes about it. It was, like I said, a revelation. Then, I started applying this new found discovery to my life. Senior year of high school I was more open about my depression with my classmates, teachers, friends, and family. But, I was doing something new... Making jokes about it. It was also senior year of high school when I bought a black notebook. I bought it because I wanted to start doing stand- up. I wanted to be like you. 

I started writing whatever came to mind. I would research the Open Mic Nights in my area, plan out a set and then, the morning of, I would decide that I would NOT do the open mic. I felt like what I had to say wasn’t funny. I mean, my friends had always told me to do stand-up and I always said, “Yea I’m looking into some to do this weekend.” I would never go. 

On January 9th, 2015 I believe my life changed. I saw your performance at Carnegie Hall. It was a family affair. My mother, father, and two brothers were alongside when we entered the venue and we got to our seats and waited in deep anticipation. Bridget Everett and Myq Kaplan did their opening sets and then...the moment came. You came out on stage and I thought, “HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I’M SEEING MY FUCKING HERO HE’S RIGHT THERE IN THE SAME ROOM OMGOMGOMGOMG” (apologies if that’s a bit too obsessive). You killed it, of course. Plus, I got to see live comedy in a grand theater! That was a new experience for me.  I got to see the effect one comedian can have on 2,000 people. And it clicked and I decided that I wanted to be a stand-up comedian.

I told myself that I would do the open mic that was the soonest possible. But, I wouldn’t do it. I was always scared. Scared of the inevitable rejection, the failure, and getting up in front of a room full of strangers and giving them a piece of me through my comedy. 

On October 29th, 2015, I went to my college’s open mic that they hosted in the Cafe of the library. I went signed up my name to perform third. I sat, took out my notebook, and started finalizing my set. After a couple kids with guitars and ukuleles, it was my turn. The host called me up and I grabbed the mic.

“Hi, I’m Tim. These are some of my jokes and stories.  I hope you find them funny.”

I got a few laughs along the way, and it felt good. To hear people laughing at my jokes was what Oprah calls an “A-Ha!” moment. It felt good, even though the set itself probably wasn’t that good and I’m telling myself it went well because I’m delusional which, to quote Mike Birbiglia, isn’t a bad thing. ”Starting out there is so much failure and amidst that failure you have to tell yourself ‘It’s going quite nicely.”

I came off the stage and I felt good. A feeling I had never felt before. The feeling of being a stand-up comedian.

I became a stand-up comedian, all thanks to you, Mr. Oswalt.

Best Wishes,