Think Things

Technoblade is a very interesting, in how CC!Technoblade’s inherent game habits translate when you realize the implications of this on Technoblade the character.

we can debate about the red festival and butcher army arcs all day, and sure, i’ll have my thoughts if you ask, but i’m speaking into what he’s had from the beginning, independent of his history on the server.

I don’t think I need to explain the implied military past. he’s very well trained and prepared as a fighter in-universe, and his military involvement in the server story has largely been through logistics and supplies rather than fighting prowess- which would not make sense for someone with a generic “fights good for money” backstory, but would make a lot of sense for a former military veteran, possibly of commanding/strategic rank.

Now for the traumatic parts. 

-hoards in extreme excess, mostly in weapons/food or practical items, and he FUCKING HATES people stealing from him, especially food. he is, essentially, constantly preparing for war, constantly prepared to need to feed whatever people are in his “army”. 

-incredibly resigned to the idea of having to discard/lose his possessions. he had so many things but was mentally able to disengage from them all in a heartbeat the moment he was in danger. 

Never get attached. Always be ready to leave. You are guaranteed nothing. You are safe nowhere.

-he needs to be underground. He needs to be isolated. He needs to live in the uninhabitable, unreachable, untouchable. He needs to be hidden. He needs hiding spots in his hiding spots. He has hidden chests all over his house, even when he considered himself retired and largely safe. 

Everywhere is a battlefield waiting to happen. If supply lines can fail, they will. If your rations can run out, they will. Be prepared for when it does, not if.

And how he treats others! Very Very Interesting.

-he has difficulty gauging people's intent and nuance, and is aware of it- this is due to being an ND character played by an ND cc, let’s not forget. he has an unfixable disadvantage in perceiving others, in cataloguing danger, and this makes him very aggressive and defensive to perceived social danger.

he’s been taken advantage of in the past. he fears it will happen again. and he knows, more likely than not, he will never see it coming.

-therefore, people who have been "dishonest" to him for any reason read as threats. someone who goes back on their word is “dishonest”, one step away from “betrayal”, one step away from a threat to techno’s life.

AND LET’S NOT GET STARTED ON PHIL.

philza’s introduction to the server, and their interactions, speak alot about their characters, and some of how techno treats philza speaks to traumatic thought patterns.

most crucially, techno treats phil as a fellow "survivor". 

when a person has gone through long lasting trauma, they tend to project their coping mechanisms, traumas, and survival tactics onto people they care about.

he treats philza’s distress as his own and acts accordingly. the reason he kills baby zombies, canonically, is out of the assumption that they are a danger or trigger to philza.

technoblade’s world is a never-ending battle. philza is his fellow soldier, his co-commander, his brother in arms. in order for them to survive the battle, of course he shares absolutely everything. his supplies, his most prized possessions, his storage and strategic locations.

None of this behavior individually points to trauma, but speaking from actual experience- all of it lumped together speaks to not only trauma, but a long familiar history with it.

(Note that in the case of phil and techno, i specifically say C-PTSD rather than PTSD. There’s a difference. PTSD is caused by one traumatic event (such as, for example, what phil went through on november 16). C-PTSD is caused by sustained and repeated trauma.)

Also, much like how CC!technoblade’s game habits have implications on C!techno, CC!ph1lza’s habits have their own on C!philza, and we keep that in mind.

now philza isn’t as “textbook” as techno’s more militaristic trauma responses but he still has some trauma-flavored patterns.

-self isolating. 

essentially, he acts under the assumption that he is alone, and others will treat him as alone. 

alot of his on-screen time is spent in isolation doing constant work, even in the wake of recent of ongoing events that directly concern him. he disappears into work to busy himself- and failing that, he’ll disappear altogether. after wilbur’s death, he canonically deliberately walked into a blizzard for a few days just to try and ground himself. 

he disappears for long stretches of time even after incredibly concerning events and makes no assumption other people would care about his whereabouts or wellbeing.

-altered response to harm and danger

as pragmatic as he is in terms of survival, he’s also relatively flippant about harming himself to achieve something he wants. he, without hesitation, broke his ankle monitor by shoving himself into magma. that is not something a person would consider an immediate option unless they were on some level already desensitized to harm or the prospect of self-harm.

-”inappropriate” emotional responses

trauma alters a person’s ability to respond to future stressful or traumatic events. this does not necessarily mean they respond more dramatically.

Towards most other characters, he gives little indication of emotional transparency or honesty until it explodes in dysfunctional verbal outbursts.

his most common outburst is laughter. philza laughs and smiles alot. even when clearly upset. even after saying incredibly upsetting things. this is of course due to CC!ph1lza just being Like That, but this translates in c!philza as someone who laughs as a nervous tic when experiencing high emotions in general.

he’s also shown incoherent outburst (screaming after wilbur’s death), as well as verbal snapping that comes “out of nowhere” from outsider perspective (”you’re dead to me” in response to “i still love you, grandpa” and the infamous “my first day on the server- i killed my son!”)

-disproportionate reaction to stress and grief, violent tendencies

externally he does not grieve at all, but his actions and comments imply he has a habit of being extremely violent to perceived threats. in general he’s very violent minded with the implication of it being due to having been desensitized to violence.

this guy compulsively culls mobs without necessity and was completely prepared to kill villagers for “looking at him funny” (read: perceived as threat).

even his conversation with sam about his immortality was an indirect threat on sam’s life over... being called an old man. (dwelling on his age and immortality appears to be a minor stressor for him, considering this moment and how uncomfortable fundy calling him “grandpa” makes him feel).

-dysfunctional attachment

he displays, for better or worse, little emotional responsibility to people, even to people he likes (such as tommy or ghostbur), but in turn he also acts on his own with no assumption of a support system. 

I’m not saying that he’s wrong for not acting the best to everyone, but i am saying that he seems to have difficulties forming attachment in the first place, even when he acts friendly- which has caused him to form non-reciprocating relationships (again, tommy and ghostbur, and possibly tubbo) where people are more attached than he is. he’s also, like techno, very sensitive to perceived betrayal, emotionally disengaging as soon as he’s been burned (see his relationship with fundy).

 And then with the people he does attach to. OH BOY.

Much like techno, this man is beyond ride or die for his extremely small in-group. the “fellow survivor” mentality i mentioned in my techno analysis  applies here as well. 

he associates techno’s survival and safety with his own, essentially feeling as good as safe so long as techno is, regardless of his actual current situation.

while techno’s most obvious indicator of attachment is through the sharing of resources, philza’s most obvious indicator is through acts and service. this man will protect his chosen “fellow survivor” to the bitter end, he will destroy entire nations and not even blink.