Tiger Rose Blue

So, just wanted to put my 2-cents into this, but even though Dazai was supposed to be this extremely sadistic, dark, and brutal mafioso during the Dark Era, I can't help but think that that's where we have seen him care the most about actual people–just because they were people he cared for. Not because they had a part in a greater plan of his or he just found them interesting or because he had a creed (one borrowed for Odasaku). He just simply cared about them and their wellbeing.

First of all, Odasaku, since he's the most obvious.

:keepreading:

All throughout the story, Dazai has never been particularly close to any of the other characters. They never know his true motivations, I don't think any of them (except maybe Akiko, the Pres, and (of course) Ranpo) knew about him being an ex-Mafia member, nobody ever tries to ask about his past, in the Dead Apple movie (is that canon? It feels more canonical than any other anime movie I've ever seen) Atsushi happens upon Dazai at Odasaku's grave and I have the feeling that might be the first time anyone has asked Dazai about Odasaku.

Also, for all of Dazai's suicide attempts, the others have treated them as annoyances, the story (for the most part) used them as comedic relief. The only person to treat them seriously was Odasaku. That moment where Odasaku takes the case with the gun from Ango's room and runs into Mimic and Dazai comes to help him, Dazai has another suicidal moment. But this one is anything but comedic. It's raw and dark. You can practically feel just how little Dazai truly values his own life. Again, this is not a comedic moment. During this moment in the light novel, Odasaku narrates:

" “Dazai, don’t move. I’ll think of something.” My fingers slowly reach for my gun. The gunman in grey could kill Dazai at any moment. Since the muzzle is already aimed at Dazai, even if I shoot the attacker’s heart in one shot, the attack may release the old pistol’s trigger. Timing is important. Although I don’t want to stake everything I have on this, but I don’t have any other options....“Dazai!” I shout. It feels like there’s tens of thousands of kilometres between me and Dazai....If the circumstances were different, if I had a different relationship with Dazai, it would not be surprising if I’d punched Dazai right there and then in such a situation. But me being me, I cannot do anything as such to Dazai. I put my gun back in my holster, walking away with my back turned to Dazai. With every step I take, I feel as though the earth has opened up into a bottomless pit as I fall endlessly. As Dazai pointed to his forehead and approached the muzzle, the look on his face – like that of a child about to burst into tears – had already been branded upon my eyes. "

That was no cheery suicide. Dazai was almost begging to be shot in front of one of his closest friends. That would’ve inconvenienced him, because if he had been killed, Odasaku would always have wondered if there’d been anything he could’ve done to have stopped Dazai.

When Odasaku is running from the sniper and calls Dazai for help, he says that if Dazai needs him to show him the Silver Oracle given to him by Mori, he could do that. (The Silver Oracle allows Oda to give orders even to executives like Dazai.) But Dazai cuts him off. This man, who wouldn’t go help Akutagawa against the Mimic soldiers (not that he really needed help until Gide got there), says that it’s not necessary. Dazai helped Odasaku because he wanted to, not because he was ordered to.

The part where Dazai is trying to convince Odasaku to stay after the orphans are killed might be the most heart wrenching scene of this arc. For all of this boy’s genius intellect and silver tongue, he can’t say what is needed. And perhaps nothing could’ve been said at that point to stop Odasaku.

When asked by Mori why he was going, despite not having a logical reason, Dazai simply replies with “because he’s my friend”. Have we ever heard that from Dazai again after that, towards anyone? I can’t remember a single instance of him calling any of the ADA members his friends. Just Odasaku.

The very fact that Dazai LISTENS to Odasaku and leaves the Port Mafia, the place where he’d spent most of his teenage years, where he’d made (a few) connections, where he bled, speaks to how much Dazai cared for him. While I’m not a Odazai shipper, I am comfortable saying that Dazai did love Odasaku, though most likely platonically. Dazai spends 2 years in hiding, probably being frequently moved from safe house to safe house, with no connections and left only with his memories of what was. To obey Odasaku’s last words to him, to become a better man.

As for Ango, there’s two main scenes I want to focus on.

First, after Dazai saves Odasaku from the Mimic sniper and opens the briefcase. Dazai explains to Odasaku why he thinks Ango was lying to them about the deal. Even after laying out his logic, he still asks Odasaku to bring Ango back. And he doesn’t say it like “bring him back so he can be punished”. He’s saying it like someone who is concerned about Ango’s wellbeing. This was his expression:

He doesn’t look angry or tense. That is concern. At this point, I think he knows that Ango is lost to him. Whether through him dying or him being a traitor. Still, he wants to know he’s going to be okay.

Second, is the moment in the bar, the last time the Buraiha meet. Ango mentions going underground for awhile after this and Dazai asks if he honestly thinks he’ll walk out of here alive. Despite this threat, this is Dazai’s ultimate decision (and probably one of the saddest quotes from Dazai):

“Ango. Go before I change my mind.

I'm not sad. I knew this from the beginning. Whether you were from the gifted special operations division or not, anything I'd never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering."

If Dazai was truly as angry about Ango being a spy as he acted when they met back up in season 2, he wouldn't have ever let him walk out of that bar alive. This is Mafia Dazai we're talking about. A guy so freaking scary, the rest of the Mafia literally had a saying "the biggest misfortune for Dazai's enemies, is that they were Dazai's enemies" when he was 18. Mori was certain that Dazai would kill him and take his spot as the Boss of the Mafia in a few years. That's the Dazai we're talking about.

But, as I was saying, Dazai let Ango walk out of that bar alive. And his words to him at the time "Whether you were from the gifted special operations division or not, anything I'd never want to lose is always lost." Hinting that Ango was something he'd never want to lose–more to the point, he didn't want to lose the friendship they shared. To me, Dazai didn't seem angry. He was also, by his own admission (though Dazai is a lying liar who lies, but I don’t think he’s lying here), isn’t sad. Instead, he comes off as more resigned. He said he knew this from the beginning, when he first met Ango. In Dazai’s experience, he always loses that which he never wants to lose. So, from the moment he met Ango, he knew he’d lose him. He’d spent their entire friendship, preparing himself for this eventuality. He may not have foreseen the means, but he saw the ending.

The next time Dazai sees Ango (that we are privy to), Dazai is P I S S E D. He (I think) organizes a car crash so Ango will do what he wants. Again, Dazai was not angry at Ango for betraying the Mafia. (In my opinion, Dazai wasn’t loyal to Mafia anyway. He had his reasons for being there, but those reasons were solely for his own gain, not for any attachment to the Mafia. He cared about some of the people there, Odasaku and Ango (obviously), but also arguably Chuuya and Hirotsu.) Dazai is angry because of Ango’s involvement in Odasaku’s death and (possibly, from the 55 Minutes light novel) the cover-up of how Odasaku died against Mimic.

Ango (this poor, overworked boy) almost seems to expect this. He’s certainly not surprised. When Dazai points a gun at his head, Ango is expressionless. When he asks Dazai about the car crash and his airbag not deploying, he already knows he’s right, he’s just getting confirmation.

Dazai (platonically) loved Odasaku and looked up to him, still looks up to him. But I don’t agree with the idea that Dazai didn’t care about Ango. Did he love him like Odasaku? Probably not. But he did care. Just like Ango cares.

Which is why I’m interested in how Ango’s involvement with the current manga arc ends. Will he die–maybe sacrificing himself to save the ADA members that Dazai cares for? Will he survive? If he does live, what’s going to happen? Will he still have a job with the division? Maybe (though I doubt it) he’ll join the ADA. Mostly, what I’m curious of is whether or not Ango and Dazai’s relationship can be repaired. Dazai does not seem like a forgiving person. But perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe this is what is needed for them to start repairing their relationship.