makuna hatata

if we just breed one really huge cow we could just shave steaks off of it for probably 100 years before it got hurt or died

we should breed trillions of micro cows and eat them like sunflower seeds and they all feel pain and die

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

We forgot about it

I once signed up to participate in a study on how depression affects memory, forgot I was meant to go do it, and when I emailed to apologise to the PhD student running it she basically told me that a) she was very used to this happening and b) the weird irony of her theories’ correctness making it very difficult to arrange proving them had by now gone from infuriating to hysterical

“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

and the thrilling sequel: “taking meds for that is the easy way out!” right you are my dude, i’m a huge fan of not making things harder than they have to be

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

I love when I try and interact with a really cute baby and they make it abundantly clear I have killed their energy and they hate my vibe