Tidbits of My Story

what's wrong?

nothing

really?

yeah.

tell me abt it

i said it's nothing.

okayy

...

?

fine. i'm lost.

what do u mean?

i just feel lost is all

explain further pls

i can't explain it

hmm. okay. tell me more

that's it

try to get something more from what youre feeling rn

okay. wait

here it goes. it's like i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i lost all my confidence. i feel like i was let go ljke a bird freed from the cage but i unlearned how to fly. and so i just fell. hit the ground so hard. and i couldn't get up.

and why do u think you feel that?

maybe bc until now i still havent collected myself from all the mess ive been thru lately

then try to fix urself maybe?

how tho? idk how thats the real problem here

try to be more specific then

fine. let me collect my thoughts first

okay

uhm. i havent found a job. yet. i was looking, searching for the past weeks but no company wants me. i started to doubt myself. so yeah. it stressed me out so hard.

then try to look harder.

thats what im doing!

dont be too hard on yourself.

im trying.

i know itll be hard today. but you need to just wait for the right time. and i know u know this. i think you just need someone to voice out the things u already know 'cause it seems youre forgetting it.

thank u :(

those are just words, anne. but i hope it helped even a little. i may not be there but know that u can still talk to me anytime.

anytime?

yeah anytime.

even if it's so early in the morning?

im awake rn.

whatever

brat

hate u

yeah right. so are u okay now?

yeah. will update u once in a while haha

okay

if you need anything, chat me me as well. maybe i can help too! :)

okay

okay okay okay

"erica." they were watching a random film on the tv when she suddenly heard her name. they were both lying on the sofa not too far from each other.

she looked up at him. she waited for other words to come by. he sat facing her while leaning on the sofa.

"what?" she said while smiling. she'd always been happy ever since they got together.

she took her hands. kissed it.

"i know it may be early but—I just want you to know–" he could not finish his sentence. they were both laughing.

she went closer to him. she touched his cheek and caressed it. she leaned her head on the sofa, same as him. still both smiling.

"what?" she asked again.

they stared at each other for a moment.

"i love you." finally he said it. he'd been wanting to say it the first day being together. heck, even years ago.

she bit her lower lip. she was so happy. so happy her tears fell down obliviously. he hugged her so tight while he's also crying. then they laughed. while she was still in tears, she looked up at him. she wiped his tears and hers.

she saw him sitting on the floor in the middle of the big space of the rooftop, cross legged. it was long ago where they met the first time. right there. at that very place. she stood there watching him from a few meters away but decided to go back downstairs after a while. although she did not want go back to the crowded room which smelled like a mixture of alcohol and cigarettes, to the inaudible noise, she preferred to go back to that misery than to stay with the man she just avoided a thousand times.

but before she take a step back, she heard his voice calling her name. she cussed in her head. slowly she turned her head and made an eye contact with him.

her heartbeats were fast while she slowly walked towards him. she offered him one of the beers she was holding in her hands. he took it and thanked her.

it was quiet for a few seconds but then he asked something. about her.

about each other's lives, opinions, future.

about films.

about music.

politics.

arts.

their future professions.

among other things.

until he said, "i broke up with tiara."

they were quiet again.

"it's been months," he said after a while.

of course, she knew that. everyone knew that. they were like the famous couple in the campus. although, she never understood why. his ex-girlfriend was an achiever and a leader in a council while he's known to come from a wealthy family but that's it. there were other couples who also had such backgrounds. but then again, their looks could be doing the most part for their fame.

"can we be friends now?" he asked after she'd been quiet.

still, she spoke nothing. she did not know what to say. she had been avoiding him to get away from the spotlight.

"maybe we can be friends like i can greet you in the hallway if i see you," he added.

he really emphasized it because it happened. he thought he was free to do that. but then she looked away that day like she didn't see him. and she ignored him completely afterwards.

it hurt him. not because he felt insulted, but it genuinely hurt him. he thought they were friends after that night at the rooftop.

then finally she said, no.

he abruptly asked, "why?" because in his perspective it was a real question. a mystery. a puzzle.

"i don't want to be associated with you," she flatly answered.

he was hurt but confused. the why was still hanging above his head. "what?"

"you get too much attention from other people. i don't want that. i don't want to be known as your friend."

she knew a lot of people around her who were curious about him.

he was quiet. just quiet. he was listening. and there was no trace of anger on his face.

"but, can i still talk to you?" he asked after he absorbed and processed everything on his mind.

she remained quiet for a moment.

then she dranked the last few liquid in her bottle. she took a deep breath and also a lot of courage.

he let her take a nap afterwards. he spooned her and hugged her from behind while letting his left arm be her pillow. he fell asleep, too.

he woke up as he became aware he's lying on the bed with someone. then be remembered and saw her. he kissed her cheek for a few good seconds. he loved watching her sleeping. even before. she looked so calm. he then kissed her forehead.

she opened her eyes. he felt scared for a moment. he was anxious if she regretted what happened or that if she could see him now beside her she would walk out of his place and never come back ever again. but it did not happen. instead, she smiled. he also smiled.

"did i wake you up?" he asked.

"yeah," said she, still smiling.

"sorry."

she kissed him. "it's not to be sorry for."

he burried his head in her neck and kissed her. "are we together now?" he said, almost embarrassed.

she grinned. she thought he's cute about feeling embarrassed about them. "i don't know. are we?"

he faced her. "you tell me."

she laughed. "do you want to?"

"of course, i want to. after all that we did earlier?"

she blushed. it was his turn to tease her.

he kissed her in the cheek. "so are we together now, miss?" he kissed her neck. over and over.

"liam", she uttered, almost moaning.

he faced her again only to kiss her. "why? weren't you satisfied?"

"liam!" she said, feeling embarrassed of his inquiries. but she could not hide her smile. he did not stop kissing her though. until she felt his hand on her thigh and his other hand on her breast, massaging her.

she moaned.

she felf his fingers slightly touching her clit. she loved this feeling. she loved to feel liam's touch all over her body.

he caressed her stomach and slowly going down. he cupped her down there. "are you still feeling sore?" she nodded. he caressed her there until he slid one of his fingers inside her.

"ahh" she muttered.

his pace was now faster and bending her body instinstively out of the sensation she's feeling. then she came. she hugged him while still breathless. "we're together now. okay?" she closed her eyes to sleep.

they stared into each other then broke the spaces between them. suddenly they were kissing. they did not want to stop. they were scared to stop. they did not want the moment to end. because they knew one of them would be sane to break what was happening. but then they needed to breathe. they were both breathless, hardly breathing from that long kiss.

they were silent for a moment, their forehead so close with each other. while still gasping for air, they stared each other. "i'm—" he uttered. but then she stopped him. "don't fvcking apologize." she leaned on the sofa and remained silent for a moment. she closed her eyes. she's frustrated.

"what do you want me to say then?" he asked. she looked hurt because she also didn't know what to say or what she wanted to hear from him. this happened before and they just both ignored it. but they knew this will happen again eventually. until when will they keep on ignoring what was happening between them?

she then inhaled deeply and sat properly now facing him again. she courageously asked him, "do you like me?" he was just quiet. he was staring at her, obviously stunned by her question. she hadn't popped this question ever since.

she was teary eyed after a moment of silence. she stood up ready to go away. she walked passed him. but then she felt his hand in hers. "please, don't go." she did not look at him. he took her other hand as well.

he stood up. he cupped her face. he kissed her. "i like you". he kissed her again. a tear dropped from her eye. he wiped it out with his thumb. "i like you. i'm just scared you'll run away. or things will end between us if this won't work out. you're so important to me." he kissed her again. and again. but this time, it's deeper. more passionately. demanding.

their heartbeats are in sync. both were anxious but happy. both were careful but excited.

they were lying in the sofa while making out. after a while, he felt her hand inside his shirt. "pen," he said almost begging. although they did not stop kissing. he kissed her in the neck. she moaned.

she undressed him. "are you sure?" she just kissed him again and they started to undress each other. he scooped her and brought her to his room.

he undid her bra and slid down her panty. he kissed her nipple while she tightened her hands in his hair. she moaned, now louder, as she felt his mouth in between her thighs and instinctively bent upward. she felt his strong hands holding her sides. she loved his every single touch in her body. this was the warmth she ever longed for.