everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.

The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.

Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.

The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didn’t.

“One woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by,” says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. “She thought it was an actual homeless person.”

look at this shit

In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.

Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.

Like puppies

Ducks

Deer

Emus

Human: the day i run a marathon is the day i die.

Alien: *makes note to keep human away from marathons*

Weeks later

Human: Just got back from a marathon!

Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher

Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories

Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep

Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt

Benjamin Blümchen Cake

Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass

“Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”

“Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”

“Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”

A depressed bread called Bernd

Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly

Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele

“My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”

Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town

“cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”

“Space Taxi to the sky!”

“Now in every 7th egg!”

“Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”

Is it der, die or das Nutella?

Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa