im still laughing at this

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@tialaureen
im still laughing at this

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Have you ever wondered how many fictional characters youâve absorbed into your personality
starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for⌠ârussian spyâ?
everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]
barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work
Memes that are funny in 2018 and 1958
A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.
The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Albanâs Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.
Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.
The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didnât.
âOne woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by,â says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. âShe thought it was an actual homeless person.â
Thatâs right. Somebody called the cops on Jesus.
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.
âWhy are you in Hell?â âI called the cops on Jesus.â
Swipe RIGHT
Be honest though, the temptation to remove her other arm would always be there in the back of your mind. Symmetry has an undeniable appeal.

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what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too
look at this shit
They radiate peace
capybaras are friend shaped
I love this post
This is actually a cool thing I know about!
In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.
Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.
Like puppies
Ducks
Deer
Emus
They are just super calm animals so theyâre naturally great at mothering or just existing in a group!
mom shaped
Van Wilder (2002)
im so tired but ill probably be awake until 3 am for no reason

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âGo to bed, youâll feel betterâ is the human equivalent of: âHave you turned it off and on again?â
Date someone who will date you
Need me a freak like that
Aliens but they take shit too seriously
Human: the day i run a marathon is the day i die.
Alien: *makes note to keep human away from marathons*
Weeks later
Human: Just got back from a marathon!
Alien: *SCREECH*
expose him
The only thing thatâs worse than being ignored by the other gender is being ignored by automatic door sensors

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Somewhere in the world is a tree exactly your age.
Growing Up German
Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you donât have to go to sleep
Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
Benjamin BlĂźmchen Cake
Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
âFisher Fisher how deep is the water?â
âDonât throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!â
âCharlie Chaplin went to FrankfurtâŚâ
A depressed bread called Bernd
Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English âthâ properly
Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
âMy grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.â
Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
âcat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happyâ
âSpace Taxi to the sky!â
âNow in every 7th egg!â
âGet [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!â
Is it der, die or das Nutella?
Having friends in other states is difficult cause theyâve got school holidays when youâre still in school and vice versa
âOf course with the Mouse and the Elephantâ
⢠Spielegalaxie!
⢠âalles ist alles ist relativ normalâ schloss Einstein everyday at 14:10h