*base boosted cocomelon* suck my ass

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

this post contains notes

Son of no notes ghost post.

obsessed with how tumblr just sometimes Does This 

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

i LOVE the idea of "i can't win, but you can lose" in fictional confrontations it is SO fucking tasty. the human nature to self destruct and the human nature to survive by any means necessary combined at its finest.