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mmmmmmmmmmm im Kinda kicking myself for committing to a marathon zine when all of this is happening. although i guess in hindsight there was no way any of us could've known. i like marathon, don't get me wrong, but my attachment/loyalty is always gonna be to destiny and the timing of all this just could not have been worse
i really, seriously would love to run Something related to the stories the team never got to tell, but i have no idea what that would look like and i'm sure it's a hell of a lot easier said than done. may just keep it to a personal visdev project between myself and some friends
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first True raid night i've had with my friends in almost a year. hardest i've laughed and the most i've smiled in a hot min. god why did this game have to end
paz in his first life: i'm following this path that i've stuck to for most of my entire life so far, why do i feel so alienated from my peers/feel like some fundamental part of myself isn't clicking
Oh, they were inseperable. Both of em had a craving for adventure that only ever reached its full potential when they chased after it together.
Charis was Paz's anchor just as often as she was his enabler. She's one of the only ones who fully saw through Paz's bravado and understood what it is that's going through his head, however unpredictable he might be.
Paz, meanwhile, had Charis to thank for being the source of his confidence. She was quite literally his lifeline, but they were each other's closest friend as well. He was as reckless as he was Because he knew she'd always have his back, and he'd always have hers. They always lifted each other up.
And then she was gone.
Charis was always the more selfless of the two of them. She always pushed Paz to do the right thing because she believed in doing right by others. As a Ghost, she knew it was her duty to help protect Humanity, no matter what. She gave her life doing just that.
Paz never really was the same after she died. That spark for adventure took well over a year to rekindle, and even then, those closest to him know it's not the same as he used to be. He's done a well enough job of convincing them otherwise, though.
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Iron Lung hot take - Simon is not violent. He's a tad aggressive. Temperamental, yeah. Impulsive, sure. His fear response is fight. But he is not inherently violent. So many fanfics I've read (bloodymary enjoyer over here hello) have him have such a violent introduction, where he just immediately goes into fight mode and attacks.
But I think, especially in the event he thinks he's somehow in another hallucinated experience, he would not default to violence. Look at him in the movie, see how often he pleads, see how often he apologizes, tries to explain himself, cries. He basically begs Ava for a chance to survive and it's only at the very end when the blood ocean monster is getting truly hostile that he starts to fight back.
Most of the movie he's finding his way out, trying to negotiate for his own survival and more often than not crying and pleading for it rather than fighting aggressively. He has a temper, he blows up, but he doesn't stay that way for long and apologizes after, he even apologizes to the little desk in the sub after he hits it.
That is not a violent character, to me. That's a scared character, sure. But not somebody who defaults to violence.
Many things make it clear he's the sort of character who has had to learn violence, has had to fight many times for survival. But not that he is somebody for whom it's the first thought, or even instinct. Maybe if he thinks he's being attacked. But if, say, he were to wake up in a new environment, I don't think he'd default to attacking everything. He'd be confused, he'd be scared, but he wouldn't be violent.
Hell, if he realized he had no real power (whether due to injuries or due to thinking he's hallucinating) there's a solid chance he would turn back to crying and begging to be free.
Idk. I don't think he's a violent dog. And I don't think he bites as much as other fans think. His track record isn't clean, and he's not the gentlest, but he's not violent, either. Sort of an awkward in-between.
I think that's part of the tragedy of his story. He's a convict, sure. He's responsible for a lot of death. But from what the movie gives us, it was unintentional. And that doesn't negate its impact, but it does change what that means about the kind of person he is.
He apologizes to the desk, for fuck's sake. He admits when he was scared. Asks how Jack is doing, and repeatedly apologizes for what he'd done even though he'd had no idea the impact it would have.
He's not a violent man. It kinda makes me sad that so many people seem to characterize him as such.
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