we're so starving

I am sexually attracted to bobby flay losing! it’s just who i am!

the kind of day i’ve had, a play in 3 parts • my roommate’s half and half is CHUNKY • my coffee spilled ALL over my bag from my perfect unspillable mug so it was user error for sure 😒 • I angrily cleaned the whole sink for like 40 minutes after while yelling at bobby flay on tv anyway sink cleaning is soothing even if my house is 100 years old and nothing ever looks as clean as i’d LIKE

this morning I got out of the shower and THEN realized I had forgotten all about crockpot brisket. WHOOPS. good thing it came out gr8 + also eyeball mug is here to help

some bullshit: broccoli cheese soup that had to be blended because xanthan gum is a tricky minx, chili on spaghetti squash, scrambled eggs and bacon w/ jalapeños & avocado on low carb bread, and a lazy jimbly johns unwich if you @ me about the bread (which has happened before?? WHO GIVES A FUCK) i’m gonna steal your identity, fill your house with bats, and convince your mom to schill for an MLM that RUINS YOUR FAMILY FINANCIALLY

bed + keto + broadchurch season 3!!!!

low carb restart womp womp womp. now featuring a cat tax because this tasty egg muffin I made is uhhhhhh less than delicious looking.

i'm never going home. to any place ever. you cannot make me go back to the cold rainy pnw. i'm gonna lay down and die here and that's fine.