so eden sank to grief

im sorry it's so funny to me how aemond and aegon are having a telepathic argument about which of them was their mother's favorite child and all the while she literally traded them both in a heartbeat for helaena's life weeks ago

This is the RIVERLANDS we BETRAY OURSELVES FOR NOTHING and DIE in our THOUSANDS NAMELESS and PURPOSELESS and FORGOTTEN BY THE NARRATIVE in the MUD and they will SING NO SONGS OF IT take your sensitive ass back to the reach!!!!!!!

I actually love the Louis and Regina subplot because it really is a continuation of the way Louis has always treated women, as a source of emotional labour that he can throw money at and have them make him feel better. It’s Miss Lily all over again, it’s “paying a whore to sit in a room and talk with him”. Making Claudia was always about Louis’ feelings under the pretence of saving her from the fire. He wants to save Regina from poverty but it’s all to make himself feel better. She sees through him but she’s so broke that she can’t afford to say no

louis du pointe du lac if he was born in the 90s: it was the two thousands... a new age, not only on the calendar, but across the ramshackle collage of fields and mountains and strip malls we somehow had the gumption to call a country. the era of the glossy Seventeen magazine, pilfered from a friend's older sister, the secrets of a womanhood we could only imagine grasping spilling out from its pages in a private, sordid puddle that we wished desperately to drown in. the siren call of claire's, a klaxon of childish hedonism, luring us with its gauche, sparkling fuschias and and royal purples and ever-present ocean deep ceruleans... an era of bedazzlement, not only on our clothes but on our TV screens, our magazines, the pulsating paisleys of the deLiA's catalogue promising us a future where a beaded curtain could bring a touch of Bohemian mystery to our banal, suburban homes...

also ormund hightower vaguely evil constantly and perpetually mewing doing poppers in full armor complete with sumptuous velvet green sash next to his squire with suspiciously neon chestnut hair and tessarion hanging out in the yard #couldbeeverything

And it IS everything ormund literally insane ethnically motivated prophecy doing poppers dick out evangelical coup with his sensitive nephew he is forging into the lisan-al-gaib for Catholics

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

First day on the job and I’m getting my long awaited vengeance against my father’s evil vizier but it turns out no one else knows how to do his job so I need to at least hire an accountant because I’m too rich to understand the concept of a budget, but we scared off the city’s comptroller who hid all our liquid assets and told only the master of laws, who we beheaded without checking on that and a rat crawls up my pant leg. So I try to at least call over some pest control but my stupid chud brother already killed all of them because they killed his son because our other brother killed MY son. So now we’re overrun by rats and I pivot to taking some petitions and this lady that looks strangely like my siblings’ mom (why?) tells me we’re out of food because of the blockade I put in place. So I ask my husband’s ex, who is on my cabinet because I’m kind of fucking her because of my complex about not being my father’s son, and she asks what my dad would do. So I do what my dad would do and ask a sad woman I’ve locked in my house, but she’s mad at me because I killed her dad. So I try to handle both the rat and the budget problem by making my entire merchant class eat the rats and sending my corrupt police force to rob their houses and now all my merchants are both pissed off and absolutely going to tell everyone the blockade was my fault. So I ask MY evil vizier what I should do but he’s mad at me because I won’t legitimize his peasant sons, one of which has one of my nukes and I just publicly humiliated twice. So I leave to consider if I should kill my littlest brother to relieve some stress, except another one of my fathers’ evil viziers’ evil fruit relatives tricked me and this isn’t any of my brothers. So I walk away with no one for protection except the chief of the aforementioned police force who I just encouraged to seize the property of nobles and we get stopped by one of my other nuke holding peasants who asks why he hasn’t gotten a paycheck in 4 months, and I tell him I’m broke as shit in front of the aforementioned corrupt police chief, who is also on the payroll that I don’t have. So I give up and circle back to my vice president and he thinks for a few minutes and then asks if I’ve tried bombing Iran

louis to lestat: please help me i know i didn't call when you were shot but i really need to know if this girl i've been paying to roleplay our dead daughter is actually her meanwhile armand to daniel: would u ever want to hang out like socially

Trying to do a good job as status quo restabilizer monarch when your three advisors are your uncle who groomed you who is your husband saying “BURN EVERYONE WE WILL INVADE DORNE AND ESSOS AND YI TI AND CROWN A NEW EMPIRE OF THE DAWN WE SHALL RULE AS GODS anyways I’m leaving see you never, your girlfriend who is your uncle’s ex girlfriend whispering about how the most important factor in maintaining monarchical power is of course just consent of the peasantry you are governing you ought to alienate yourself from your minor nobility completely and permanently to appease the people, and your middle school girlfriend you are repulsed by the thought of displeasing going you have to do shit that makes me mad to rule effectively but I will be mad. and also you have no fuckingggg money

And all of them want you

I hate that the "x reader" or "x Y/N" style of fanfic has become sooooo popular, partially because it's just not for me and partially because they clog general non-fic related tags and those authors seem allergic to the "read more" function on this website, but ALSO because I believe that you should have to go through the trouble of creating an absolutely batshit self-insert character, with a backstory that makes no sense and a name that doesn't really gel with the aesthetics of the universe. Legolas and Aragorn should be in a love triangle with Kylie, the angsty sixteen year old half-human half-elf and inexplicable tenth member of the Fellowship. Do the WORK. If everyone was doing "Y/N" nonsense back in the day, there would be no Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, or probably Bella Swan. These are important women. They deserve to be named, confusingly and with no regard for the fictional world they inhabit.