:3

Hello, you stupid dog. You beleaguered creature.

Hello. You're the most beautiful person in the world. Genuinely first place. Be sure to rest up.

@acedoesstuff654

Pirate’s booty, Pirate’s penis, Pirate’s balls. All treasure.

What about a Pirate's soul?

Does not matter at all to me. Pirates are made to be objectified.

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

I heard they’re killing you at work tomorrow

women are like beautiful flowers..... found all over the world. pleasant to be around. part of a larger plant. full of pollen. evolved in the jurrasic period. may eventually turn into an apple. comes in purple sometimes.