Whatever I’m Hyper fixated On

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

This is so American I could CRY

30 seconds into the new Half in the Bag and Jay is fucking glistening

entry-level job with a 23k salary asking me to write a minimum 2,500-word essay where i extravagantly praise The Company and express dewy-eyed admiration for their Glorious Mission Statement. i hope king arthur returns and slices every hiring manager to ribbons with his big sword

YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT IMAGE!?

yes

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based