g

i actually wanted to be an astronaut and i actually believed i could. i made the worst years of my life into the best because i felt the drive and i had purpose. i knew astronaut sounded silly and akin to what a little kid would say & thats why i never shared this w anyone, but man i really had a plan. i went to military recruiters since a big chunk of astronauts are military pilots, and if not they were doctors or had doctorates. i was scared of heights, had bad eyesight, and too many unfortunate events had unfolded that rendered me into an agoraphobe. i somehow pushed through and took a flight lesson. i knew i was not going to be an astronaut. aerospace engineering was the next best thing in my head to get my foot into the door of the space industry. i couldn't get into a college that offered that major so i tried studying physics for some time, then biology. i never got my dream or anywhere close but thats ok. funny how this pipe dream of mine got me to be brave and in a way kept me alive. purpose is vigor.