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@thor-loki-probably
Thor would be so bad at being evil
Like if he worked with Loki, the two of them would have massive egos and it’d be unbearable but like lying? Nope.
Loki: All you have to do is tell that man we have the tesseract.
Thor: Yes I understand that’s what we want but we don’t have it??
Loki: I KNOW we don’t have it! The point is to make them think we do!
Thor: Yes but we don’t have it so how will we convince them?
Loki:
Thor:
Loki:
Thor:
Loki: YOU LIE
Thor: About what?
Loki: Oh my gods
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More Eldritch Thor and Loki!!
Loki is very uncanny valley at times. He CAN look beautiful but he often chooses to be eerie looking to upset the humans around him. Probably around 6 foot 10. Much shorter than his older brother by preference. Super thin and when he stares at you too long you have the urge to throw up.
Thor’s face (when shown) is the entire universe. It’s a window to infinity, thus why human brains refuse to try and comprehend it. You can’t comprehend infinity. So to stop humans from going crazy, he purposely makes his face blurry. He can’t shapeshift like his younger brother so it’s harder for him to change his form and often it seems like his face isn’t even there, and rather shadows and mixing ideas of what you think he should look like. But never concrete.
Thor and Loki are gods, not humans, so they hypothetically could look like anything. Eldritch Thor and Loki.
Loki can shapeshift so he could literally be anything. From cute bunny rabbit to eldritch horror. But he’s normally (so humans can comprehend him) humanoid but uncannily attractive. Like there’s something not right about him but you don’t know why. His smile is slightly too wide and his features all unnaturally too perfect. He’s scary but also alluring and you can’t tell if you like him or not.
Thor is massive. Like 8 feet tall. His arms are legs are slightly too long, hair too blonde that it seems gold and shines in the sun. His ears go up to a point and his face is impossible to see. Either always in shadows or slightly out of sight. If you wear glasses there’s always a glare and you can’t see his face. Even if you’re sitting right in front of him and staring it’s like your vision is going blurry because it’s impossible to actually see his face. It’s the one thing he can’t make humanoid enough.
Old Thor and Old Loki comics are the best because it’s Loki being evil and Thor is just like “Yeah. No yeah that tracks.”
Some rando: Oh no!! The trickster god Loki is betraying us!!
Old Thor: Brother! Pick up fruit on the way home!!
Old Loki: BE ANGRY AT ME DAMMIT!
Loki: ..Brother? What are you doing?
Thor watching ‘Vikings’ on the history channel: Watching television. It’s riveting.
History channel: “Lots of Vikings worshipped their protector and god of storms, Thor-“
Thor: That’s me!
Loki:
Thor:
Loki:
History Channel: “-A rather evil god they did not worship much was the trickster god Loki.”
Loki: Really?
Thor: I’ve done nothing. The tv said it not me.
Loki:
Thor: Stop it. Stop looking at me like that.
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Thor: I don’t understand. Anthony calls you normal names. Like your name. Loki.
Loki: I’m sorry, who?
Thor: Anthony.
Loki: Who in the nine realms is that?
Thor: The Iron Man? The one who owns the Avengers tower. Did you hit your head? You two have met.
Loki: Tony?? Tony Stark?
Thor: Yes. His full name is Anthony.
Loki, smiling: is it really?
Thor: …yes?
later
Loki appearing behind Tony: Anthony Stark.
Tony dropping his glass and jumping: JESUS
Thor being sent to earth and Loki following right after
Thor: This sucks I miss home. I do have friends now though.
Loki: I murdered all these midgardians. They’re so weak.
Thor: Loki no?!
Loki: Hello?? You murder giants all the time??
Thor: This is different!
Loki: How.
Thor: Loki.
Loki: What now, Thor?
Thor: If I was dying, would you help me?
Loki: ..wh?? What kind of question is that?
Thor: Well I was thinking if you were dying I’d do everything in my power to help you, but I didn’t know if you’d do the same.
Loki: Oh.
Thor: …well?
Loki: ..I suppose I would.
Thor: Really?
Loki: Do you really think I’d abandon you in your dying moments?
Thor: …I uh. I don’t know.
Loki: …oh.
Loki: Thor is always complaining. “Don’t do this, Loki!” or “You’re better than this, Loki!” or, norns above, “Brother I can help you!”. Bitch you don’t know me.
Thor: I LITERALLY DO
Thor: Why is the time stone green, everything else the color makes sense but green? I think time is more yellow.
Loki: *sweats*
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A bird! That's such a fun idea, I bet Thor would love it! ✨️
Thor: I WOULD NOT!
Loki: What kind of bird do you want to be brother? A hawk? Eagle perhaps? Maybe something more exotic? Cassowary perchance?
Thor: I will throw you.
What else might Thor want to be turned into?
Thor: Nothing!! I just want to be Thor.
Loki: Maybe a bird. Do you want to be a bird brother?
Thor: No!
Loki: That’s too bad.
thor and loki on Saakar had elite interactions and here's another they deffo had when people weren't looking
Thor: Brother. We need to leave through the devil's anus, would you stop being so difficult?
Loki: I wan't you to look me in my face and say that again. For me. Cause I want you to hear yourself.
They don’t age like humans I’m crying this is so funny to me
Tony: so how old are you? like 30?
Thor: 30?! Do I look like an infant to you? Brother! Do I look like a child??
Loki: You look stupid, that’s what you look like.
Tony: Child?? The fuck??
Thor: I am a perfect 1,500 thank you. And Loki is 1,000.
Tony: what
Old thor going back in time again (bros like 70 mil years old) and runs into the DW Loki.
Thor: Loki?
Loki thinking its Odin for a moment cause bros hair is pure white: W-What the-?
Thor: Hah! Loki it’s you! I haven’t seen you since… well over 5 million years ago! I stopped counting quite a bit ago.
Loki: THOR?? WHAT IN THE FU-
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Loki are you still in the tree?
Loki: …no
Thor: Tree??
Loki: Don’t ask.
Hey Brodinsons, what say you about the accuracy of fanon comparing Thor to a golden retriever and Loki to a black cat? :3
Thor: Golden Retriever? Like the dog?
Loki: I guess I’m sort of black cat coded.
Thor: (what the hell does that mean???)
Loki: Also Brodinsons? Never refer to me as that again.
Thor: I kinda like it. It’s funny. Because we’re bros.
Loki: I understand it. And your more of a… clueless mastiff than a golden retriever.
Thor: I’m not a dog? I can’t shapeshift.
Loki: You’re only proving my point.