Scared_Shadows

Not very creative with requests but how would they do with something akin to forced cohabitation. Like they were moved site but there was a lack of rooms so they had to share with the reader.

So basically how good are they as roommates?

Instead of them moving sites and being put into your living space, I'm going to have the opposite happen instead: You moved sites and were put into their living space. It's simply because some of their living situations are described a bit more, and also because it'd be easier to write something about their living spaces than it would be to write about an ambiguous living space. I'm also following the canon here that most employees live on-site. It's not super relevant, but in some cases, it may make things a bit clearer.

Clef:

I tend to give him a lot of grace in writing about what he'd be like because although lot of the SCP writing and Tales make him out to be completely intolerable, I try to combine as many canons as possible when writing, and what that results in is that he is a pragmatic asshole. He had enough morals to kill some guy who kept feeding babies to SCP-682, but he might also be Satan reincarnate, so I try to convey both. However, there is absolutely no way around him being the worst, most insufferable roommate in existence. Firstly, Clef would protest heavily if the Foundation temporarily tried to move someone into his apartment. They do that to people sometimes, but usually not those in authority positions, and especially not those who have a track record of retaliation. If he doesn't shoot you immediately, it will be your problem for a very long time that he does not want you there. He has dates with SCP-173 every Friday night, and he brings D-Class (dangerous criminals) into his penthouse. Also, it's pretty standard throughout the canon that he is up incredibly late and still wakes up at 6am, so whether you're a night person or a morning person, you're going to be struggling because he is intentionally loud just to mess with you. I also highly doubt he respects anything in the fridge that is labeled to be yours. Not that he'd want to eat your food or anything, just to show that he doesn't respect it. The one benefit is that he seems to be reasonably dedicated to keeping his home clean (even if it means bringing in D-class to clean everything once a week). Everything in his house is lavish and expensive with a black and gold color theme, so it'd make sense that he doesn't want his house to look lived-in. Your room is his guest room, and it's just as expensive and lavish as everything else, which can be a little daunting. You are a guest there so you should also keep things clean just on principle, but also because you will be facing the wrath of a seasoned killer if you don't. I'd give it two days before you are begging to stay in a hotel until there is an apartment for you, and a week after that until you decide it is in your best interest to just pay for the hotel yourself.

Kondraki:

Kondraki is furious that he's been assigned a roommate. He's a grown man, for 343's sake. Realistically, he kills you the first night. But, they offered an incredibly generous pay bonus for the time being to allow someone to stay in his apartment, so he reluctantly doesn't kill you. That's how you find yourself sleeping in Draven's childhood bedroom, with the same posters on the wall, glow-in-the-dark stars, and an abandoned rabbit enclosure in the corner. You have nowhere to put your stuff, as the dresser is filled with old clothes that never got donated or thrown out. The place feels like you're not supposed to be there, likely because you'd be in a lot of trouble if you moved anything. As for Kondraki as a roommate, he's not as bad as it gets, but that doesn't make him a good roommate. He's at least got a predictable routine. If he didn't drink too much last night, he'll wake up a bit early, make some coffee, and go sit on his porch. He'll go to work, come home, and then depending on how his day is, he might have a drink (or seven, but who's counting). There are times where you get home and he's passed out on the couch. On the mornings after that kind of night, he isn't even awake by the time that you've left for work, and he is generally in a terrible mood. You cannot play any sort of music or make noise or you will have to deal with an aggressive situation (Classical is the only reluctantly accepted genre). Also, the threats to your life are pretty consistent, although you can't tell if he's just saying it to be funny or if he's serious. The one thing I could recommend to get on his good side is cooking enough food for him sometimes. If he's tired or drunk, not having to cook is greatly preferred. If you leave extra food in the fridge, he might take it for lunch. I believe he could potentially be an okay roommate for a short period of time as long as you are reasonably quiet and stay out of his way.

Gears:

If Gears was opposed to you moving in, you'd never know. You walk into his place, and it's minimalist to the extreme. There are no items without a clear and designated purpose. Although, if there is something there, it's generally a nice version of it. There is no attempt at color coordination, not that there needs to be, but Gears also isn't going to waste time looking for the KitchenAid mixer that best matches his countertops. Everything that has color options ends up being whatever is closest to landlord white, and he chose it to be that way. When you see your room for the first time, it's very clear that the room was empty before you were moved in. Gears had an office and a bedroom still set up, so he wouldn't need an extra space to be full. All the furniture is Foundation-standard furniture. A desk, a chair, and a bed. As for Gears as a roommate, it's a couple days before you even see him for the first time. When you do see him, he looks incredibly tired but still put together. I think that a lot of the people working at the Foundation have slightly different personas for when they are in work vs out of work, but I do think Gears is emotionless all the time, so that can be a really hard part to get used to. He's a good roommate by all normal standards. He cleans up after himself, and he's incredibly quiet. But there's something so eerie about living with someone who is so emotionless. It's something that maybe you could get used to, but it'd be difficult to do so, especially because he travels so much that you don't even see him that much. While he is a good roommate and you could easily live with him for an extended period of time, I think you might be excited to move into your own place at the end of it.

Iceberg:

Iceberg is probably the most openly upset about having someone moved into his place without permission, but it's for a good reason. Everyone else I talk about is either of a much higher clearance, or extremely seasoned, and most likely has a larger apartment. His office is going to be overtaken by your presence, and because he does a lot of paperwork on sensitive topics, he is also required to move everything. He argued that you should just go sleep on someone else's couch, but you realize it's because he doesn't have a couch. When you first walk in, the apartment smells like gunpowder. His apartment is also incredibly minimalist, but not in a cleanly-minimalist way like Gears. His TV is propped up on one of those plastic laundry baskets, and he's set up a folding chair in front of it. His dining room table only has one chair. His kitchen has two forks, one dinner knife, and a spoon, which upon further inspection, is a fork with duct tape in between the tines. Although his serving equipment leaves much to be desired, his actual cooking equipment is very nice, and it's clear from looking in the fridge that he actually enjoys cooking. When you first meet him, he comes into the apartment with some weird purple explosive marks all over his white coat, and he immediately starts ranting to you about your presence. When you finally say that you aren't excited about overtaking his space either, he finally calms down a little bit and introduces himself. Beyond that, he's not silent, but he's not the most talkative either. He cooks for himself, he plays video games, he does paperwork, and that's pretty much it. He seems like he would enjoy playing a competitive video game with someone. Mario Kart or something of that nature. As long as you aren't disrupting his normal schedule, you'll both be okay. When you finally move out, you should consider gifting him a real spoon as a thank-you gift. If you ever did play video games or board games together, he might invite you over again to play sometime.

Glass:

Firstly, Glass has questions for the Foundation about this decision. You living with him will bar any future sessions together from happening, do they know this? When you first walk in, Glass is there to meet you. In fact, he's the only one who would be there to meet you. He gives you a tour of the place and tells you which rooms not to go into. However, when you look at the doors, you'll realize he installed locks on the outside to prevent you from entering those rooms. It's not because he doesn't trust you, it's because he's done therapy with Kondraki and Clef and realizes that letting a Foundation agent have access to his office with personal information or worse, his bedroom, is an absolute no-go. The living room is simplistic but decorated, with most of the apartment being a light-green or tan. He went ahead and bought you things you might need like toiletries and left them in your room. As a roommate, he's incredibly respectful of you and your space. If he is in the public space, he is either cooking, doing his dishes (which he does immediately after cooking even when alone) or reading on the couch. However, you are probably moved out pretty quickly because Glass is struggling intensely. Glass is under an extreme pressure to help some of the most deeply disturbed, amoral people on the planet. He comes home to have a time to process all of that, but feels unable to with a roommate. So, while Glass is the most responsible roommate you'll have, it won't last very long.

Rights:

It's terrifying to get assigned to room with your Site Director for an undisclosed period of time, but she's incredibly welcoming. When she walks in the door after her shift, she immediately begins talking to you about it. She'll talk to you every time she sees you and she's very nice. She's almost normal enough that you forget the nature of the place you work at. Her apartment is furnished in a comfy way, and it's clear that she put effort into picking out the furniture she has. The one downside is that she sometimes (a lot of the times) has people over late at night, and you don't get any warning for who is coming over. Sometimes it's a small get-together with friends, sometimes it's a full-blown party, and sometimes it's a one-night-stand. None of the situations are particularly bad, and she's such a fun roommate otherwise, but it can be jarring to walk to the kitchen at night for a glass of water and see your direct supervisor there in nothing but a robe. Or worse, an SCP. Overall, I'd say living with Rights can be fun as long as you're easy-going and comfortable with people coming over without much notice, because she is one of the few that isn't hateful towards your existence.

Strelnikov:

Like telling clef to just tell them the truth, kicking Iceberg leg for his behaviour, Asking Strelnikov why he acts like a Russian stereotype or telling Dr Gears to atleast smile more

This is a fun one imo. It's like if the Foundation got someone who is actually normal to work for them for once.

Clef:

Clef convolutes things in such a way that it's difficult to find the truth, even about things that are relevant to your job. He'll make up an anecdotal experience with the SCP you're about to research, and when the SCP never demonstrates that behavior, you'll spend time running around to figure out what he could've done to cause it. Eventually, when you confront him after weeks of trying to reproduce that specific result, he'll laugh at you for almost a full minute and thoroughly shame you for believing that. If you get fed up enough and tell him that it'd make everyone's lives easier if he just stopped lying, he'd give some speech about "character building" or whatnot. He'll give you the one valid piece of advice that he'll ever offer, which is that you need to only trust yourself here. He knows the Foundation isn't immune to examples of infiltration from other organizations, and you should know that too. If you were curious about if his experimental results were true, you shouldn't have wasted resources for weeks trying to replicate it and should've emailed him to ask for trial specifics. If you ask him a question about his personal life, interpersonal relationships between personnel, or something more of that nature, you will never get anything even close to the truth from him. Before Clef was even in a higher-up position, rumors about him circulated like wildfire, none of which were true. He's good at spinning a tale, and the unfortunate thing about people is that there is no true/false metric. People are biased, and he plays that to his favor.

Kondraki:

Kondraki might be the personnel with the least coherent storyline (as in, multiple different canons that don't connect perfectly), which can sometimes make questions like this very difficult to answer. In some stories, he's a raging alcoholic with anger issues. In others, he's an aloof, somewhat goofy guy. Sometimes he's both. I personally enjoy all perspectives on him and don't think it's necessary self-exclusive, but for the purpose of this question, I believe the easiest topic to address with Kondraki is either the butterflies, or the alcoholism. Kondraki and SCP-408 are very closely tied together. Kondraki taught the butterflies how to communicate in English, and in turn, they are extremely dedicated to helping him. Kondraki is also, in some particular tales, a gossip. Therefore, it stands to reason he might send some invisible butterflies to collect information on some situation. I think this would go about where you found out about it and told him, in much more unkind terms, to knock it off. I think in this case, he might be stunned for a second, try to feign ignorance, and then concede that he won't spy on you anymore when you tell him that he can't fool anyone. Nobody else can tell the butterflies to go spy on people, so it was really stupid to even try and act like it wasn't him. If you try to deal with the alcoholism problem, you're not going to make any progress. If you try to tell him not to come into work drunk, he will ignore you on a good day. On a bad day, you will deal with threats to your life. The unfortunate truth of the SCP Foundation is that more employees than Kondraki will turn to alcohol, and due to the horrors they experience at the Foundation, very few will ever try to recover, so I foresee substance abuse being so common that it's almost not worth it to address it as long as the employee is showing up to work on time most days. You'll have better luck with combatting the butterfly-gossip problem.

Gears:

People have tried and failed to invoke a reaction out of Gears. In fact, almost everyone who has worked with Gears has tried to invoke some sort of reaction from him. He sees emotions as something that is just not necessary to enforce or create, so I don't imagine any sort of conversation could change that. He does have moments where he expresses emotions (I believe he threw a controller at a TV once but I have nothing I could cite to support that), but in terms of people trying to scare him or anger him to invoke a reaction, it doesn't really work. No matter how fed up you are with it, you're just going to have to deal with this one, as there is absolutely no changing the behaviors of Gears.

Iceberg:

Iceberg is, in many tales, a narcissist, many times bordering on incel behavior (personally I like the take better that he's incredibly insecure and that his defense mechanism is anger and insults, but I think the consensus in the actual Tales is more narcissism). He likely makes a lot of comments that are unacceptable and insensitive, but talking to him about it has never helped. So, when he sits down across from you in a near-empty cafeteria and tries to strike up a conversation, most personnel would try to politely leave. That is, until he hits you with a comment so insensitive your instinct is to stomp on his foot. Hard. He will curse at you heavily, getting well within the boundaries of your personal space to threaten you. But he will leave. It's not that he doesn't have the weapons capabilities to end you there, but he's trying to get a promotion, and killing someone very likely won't get the people making the decisions to want to promote him. So, he walks away, but remembers this. He'll try to sabotage you in some minor ways, but it only actually causes a minor inconvenience 20% of the time. In the meantime, you've learned that employing rage-inducing tactics works better against his behavior. He'll make some absurd comment, and you'll make an even more absurd comment about what his comment implies about him as a person. He will get worked up, look stupid, and then have to step away. He'll have to learn very quickly that he needs a different strategy to his conversations. So, if you are present, he will avoid any controversial topics to avoid your following comments. He still expresses the ideas, just not to you.

Glass:

Glass is arguably the most normal person on this list, and if he does have anything you'd like him to change, he likely can't as it's a necessary defense mechanism for the insane number of topics he has to deal with in his therapy sessions. So, I'd imagine that instead, you'd be trying to combat the system. Arguing to Glass about not wanting to do monthly sessions as some of the other weird folks here need the help much more than you do. Regardless, the sessions are mandatory. Instead of leading the conversation as much as he does with someone like Clef or Gears, he'll probably let you pick the topics. And you choose to keep it as mundane as possible intentionally to try and convince him that you are completely stable and not in need of these sessions. He might even let you sit on his couch and do paperwork for an hour while he catches up on paperwork himself. He's still observing you and your tendencies the whole time, but if that's what it takes to get you into the room and talking even for five minutes about your work and some deeper topics about the anomalies you work for, then that's what it will have to be. Glass will most likely meet you where you are as much as allowed.

Rights:

You've got two possible pathways with Rights. Either she checks in on you, and it bothers you simply because that is abnormal behavior in the Foundation, or you're weirded out by her being promiscuous. If she's checking in on you and how it's going, you might want to tell her to stop. The Foundation pushes those "Stay Vigilant, Stay Alert, Stay Safe" alerts all the time, so anyone asking how you are can seem like a pry into your emotional state. If you ask her to stop, she will understand why you are doing so and won't hold it against you at all. However, as the Site Director, it's a bit weird of you to be mistrusting of her. If you ask her why she is flirting with so many personnel and anomalies, you will get a discussion of how it is NONE of your business what she does in her time, and how you need to learn your place. You will not get that discussion from Rights, but instead from another employee. Rights is generally very appreciated around Site, not even because of the promiscuity that is mentioned in her file, but because she genuinely cares about people. If you try to mess with her system, people will step in against it.

Strelnikov:

Firstly, there are multiple SCPs that mention a D-class with a specific IQ in the testing section, so I believe everyone is tested. However, I believe someone truly smart would know to skew their results for a program like this so that they're a little closer to average.

Clef: Clef pays little to no attention to D-Class in most tales. Usually, he's being reasonably cruel to them. As much as I write Clef as someone who notices things, he's also yelled at service employees in multiple Tales and treated D-Class as a lower level of that. That's to say, regardless of how smart a D-Class is and how smart he perceives them to be, he will treat you exactly the same as every other D-Class. That is, unless you are smart enough to start making your own calls on stuff. If you are asked to interact with an anomaly and you can correctly explain the effects of it as well as possible causes, it might pique his interest. He will not treat you with any more respect, though. After all, you're a D-Class for a reason. He'll probably pull your file, see that you are within the average range, and realize you skewed the score. He probably won't do anything about it. If, during a breach, you start expertly planning strategy either surrounding containment or your escape, he will be thoroughly interested, but likely still try to kill you, as is policy. It'd take the Foundation independently realizing your intelligence and an override of your official D-Class status for him to treat you like a person.

Kondraki:

I don't think Kondraki would be working with D-Class all that much on his own assignments, but he is known as the best photographer that Site-17 has, so there's a chance he'd have to take photographs for someone else's project in the case that their own camera is unable to capture it. If you were involved in the experimentation of that anomaly, the two of you may interact through a bulletproof glass window and a microphone. I don't think he'd be particularly receptive to any sort of commentary from you. Heck, he doesn't even remember any of his coworkers' names, he's not paying all that attention to someone whose name is a string of numbers. Even if you're able to explain what's going on to Kondraki and how he would most likely be able to get the best photo, he probably won't listen to what you have to say. He's not going to be too outwardly cruel to you like I imagine some others will unless you're hindering his research, or he is hungover. Very likely will limit interactions with you to the absolute minimum possible unless otherwise required to interact with you for extended periods of time, in which case the odds of him killing you will increase.

Gears:

If Gears is interacting with a D-Class, it's because they've already realized how incredibly smart the D-Class is. So, mask is off at this point, no use in pretending not to be something. Gears is cautious around smart D-Class simply because it's riskier to have you around than a D-Class who is lacking in intelligence. They don't need someone who is smart, just someone who can follow directions. In fact, some D-Class interact with an anomaly and never even realize it's anomalous, even if its anomalous properties are visible. If you're smart enough to warrant talking to Gears, you likely are very good at thinking for yourself, and that poses a risk because it means you're likely always thinking about what it is exactly that the anomalies are doing. Gears likely isn't going to want to deal with the extra risk, but there are a lot of anomalies that could benefit from having a test dummy like you, so they'd probably keep you around. If you believe they kill off all the D-Class at the end of the month, you're exempt from that. You probably realized that was the deal from the get-go, but you're exempt because it's not super common to find a D-Class that smart. It doesn't mean you're not disposable still, it just means you're not needlessly disposable.

Iceberg:

I don't imagine Iceberg would be particularly kind to any sort of D-Class personnel. He utilizes them for testing in some tale and doesn't say anything too cruel, but I mean, he does kill them, so do with that what you will. If you're working with Iceberg, it's probably not very good for you simply because he does paperwork or tests explosives/weaponry, and they're not bringing in a D-Class to watch him do paperwork. So, you're likely the test subject of an explosive situation. There's not really a win condition here, but it's not because of your own wrongdoing. If you point out a way that Iceberg could improve his current trial run, he might get incredibly upset and will promptly test it on you. If you don't say anything, he'll finagle for it for a while before figuring it out on his own and then testing it on you. If he's already filled out the paperwork to obtain a D-Class, I don't see him going back on that just because you are smart. He would be far too focused on what his actions and his project to probably even notice any sort of increased intelligence. It's not because he's stupid, it's just because he doesn't care enough to pull your file and learn about what your background is if he's just using you to test something.

Glass:

Glass never interviews D-Class or SCPs even though he's requested it, he is only ever assigned to employed personnel. So, the chance of you ever interacting with Glass is extremely low. However, for the sake of it, let's ignore it and say that for some reason, Glass is interviewing you. If you are intentionally responding with the acceptable cookie-cutter answers, Glass will catch on pretty quick and realize there is more to you than meets the eye. After a few sessions, he'd put in his recommendation to the Foundation that your execution be held, and that you be administered amnestics at the end of each month and told that this is the beginning of your month of working. If he continues to check in, it'd be because he's trying to gauge if you're losing your mind from the persistent anmnestics.

Rights:

Rights is a Site Director, so it's even less likely you'd end up in front of her than you would Gears. She is known for being empathetic towards other personnel and anomalies, but she most certainly spent her time before becoming Site Director seeing D-Class after D-Class who committed despicable acts, so I believe that her empathy might not be as forthcoming in the case she's interacting with a D-Class. So, it depends pretty heavily on what you did to end up there. Some SCP articles reference D-Class being composed of homeless people who are taken off the streets as well as the typical tale of death-row inmates, as well as other stories such as personnel or other GOI personnel getting "D-Classed". So, I believe she'd take it on a case-by-case basis. If you weren't accused of anything too heinous, she'd be the one you could most effectively plead your case for your life to. But then again, it also depends on why you're interacting with her. If your plan is to plead your case to the Site Director, try not to cause too much harm to her Site while trying to catch her attention.

Strelnikov:

If there is one thing Strelnikov might outrank people at, it's deception. Sure, Clef is good at lying so much that the truth is impossible to locate, but everyone usually knows it's a bunch of lies. People don't always know when Strelnikov is deceiving them, which makes him particularly skilled at realizing when someone else is deceiving him. MTF members actually don't work with D-Class all that much, that usually falls more upon the STF (Although, depending on where in Strelnikov's story you catch him, he might be more likely to be stationary, considering he was Security Director and acting Site Director for some time), so it's likely if the two of you interact, it would be during a massive breach situation where his MTF is called in to help. Strelnikov has orders to kill you, as do most security personnel. However, if you were to be able to contain a particularly difficult SCP on your own, he might assert that policy did not account for this situation and let you live a bit. You're not joining his team or getting any weapons, but he'd let you do your own thing around Site if you try to re-contain the others. He might even call it in over the radio that other MTFs should avoid shooting you if possible, so long as you're only attempting to re-contain. After the breach is over, you'd get questioned about how you knew what to do to contain the anomalies, and very likely be able to explain why your logic was sound. Strelnikov will also be asked about his questionable choices, but if they realize your reasoning skills and applications are stronger than they previously thought, they'll likely let him off the hook for breaking protocol.

Let’s be honest, EVERYONE at the Foundation would suck to interact with while sick. That being said, here’s what to expect.

Clef:

Firstly, I cannot imagine Clef being sick. As cited in that one tale where Clef and Strelnikov go on a road trip, he didn’t get a single drop of blood on him after killing two guys? If he can avoid that, he can avoid getting sick. Going off the same tale (because it’s one of my favorites), Clef hates taking off work and would not be particularly happy to do it for the flu. In the extremely rare case that he could get sick, he’ll probably go to his office, blanket in tow, and get his work done, or he may blackmail someone else to do it for him. Even if he is asked by someone higher up to go home for the love of 343, he very likely will not. If anyone asks if he’s sick, he will wipe his snot on their shoulder and then cough on them. If you’re his friend, he’ll insult you so that you stay away from him. Will he apologize after he’s sick? No. Will he tell you he only said it because he was sick? No. He’ll just sit down next to you someday and say something funny. If you’re his assistant, he’ll probably get you sick and still make you come into work.

Kondraki:

It spreads around the site immediately when Kondraki is sick so that everyone knows to STAY OUT OF HIS WAY. If you try to talk to him in person, he has no qualms about injuring you, so stick to email (but please ensure your email isn’t about stupid or he will hunt you down). If you’re his friend, don’t bother him. If you’re his assistant, good luck. He might not kill you, but he will sniffle and then yell at you for that one day two months ago when it was raining and you didn’t wear a coat and now he’s sick and it’s your fault. He seems prone to high fevers, so strap in, because you’re gonna be responsible for delirious Kondraki with a 40° (104°F) fever who is waging war on a cloud. And please, make sure someone is in charge of making sure the butterflies are fed. If asked to go home, he will do it and force Iceberg to do his paperwork for him.

Gears:

If Gears is sick, you can’t tell. His face doesn’t flush, his eyes don’t glaze over, he doesn’t even experience nausea. The only way anyone could ever figure it out is if Gears walks through one of the temperature scanners in the heavier containment hallways. They exist outside of particular containments, but Gears is experienced enough to avoid them when he has work to get done. Gears has only actually been caught with a fever twice, but he has most certainly been sick multiple times more. He is dedicated to his work and believes that acting sick won’t better anyone, so he usually is very able to avoid allowing something like the flu to hinder his work. Gears is clever enough to avoid anyone even asking him to go home for being sick, because being sick doesn’t particularly hinder his work.

Iceberg:

Iceberg actually would enjoy getting sick because his temperature would rise above freezing. Even at 2° (~36°F), his life becomes multiple times easier. The other symptoms of feeling sick balance it out. Depending on the symptom, Ice’s actions will change. Migraine? He’s gonna be more prone to angry outbursts. Nausea? He’ll honestly probably be in a better mood than normal. With the flu, Iceberg is noticeably sick. His hair, which is normally frozen, melts into its natural hair color. He’s still freezing cold all the time, but the benefits of being just slightly above the freezing temperature of water instead of slightly below it are astronomical to him.

Glass:

Glass 100% tries to take off work when he is faced with the flu. His request would be promptly denied, as many of the other therapists on site have restraining orders against his patients. He tries again, arguing that his lack of focus could weaken the confidence his patients have in their doctor, as well as the argument that “Half of these people would be thrilled to get out of their monthly session anyways.” Denied again. So, he puts on a mask and heads in. And he suffers his way through the day. He is a frequent user of hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes. He cannot properly do his job while sick, so after his last patient, instead of doing any paperwork, he falls asleep on his couch and sleeps until work the next day.

Rights:

Rights is incredible when she’s sick because she is fully prepared. She keeps all the drugs she needs for sickness neatly in her office, and she might be one of the few Foundation employees who can tell before they come down with something. Foundation staff really appreciate Rights as a generality and very likely would be willing to make and deliver soup upon request. Rights would be able to power through work because she will prepare for it, and likely would not appear sick too frequently because she’s good at managing the symptoms. Because so many Foundation folks are cold and calculating about their surroundings, they miss the early warning signs that they are about to be sick, but Rights being on top of it is incredibly helpful, especially if it is something that is going around.

Strelnikov:

Being sick isn’t a training mission, but he treats it as such. He honestly might cough on all his team, and then once everyone is sick, he will assert it was for a training exercise. He will make sick task force members run miles in the rain and do so himself as well to “build strength”. There is no scientific or logical backing to his strategy. He also is very superstitious about what causes illness. Things like not wearing a coat, sitting on concrete, those kind of things. So, having his team run in the rain is fine this time, because it can’t make them sicker than they already are. Needless to say, it is a Foundation priority to ensure Strelnikov is not sick, and if he is, to ensure he is allotted a solo mission of a menial artifact until he is better. Probably goes home and tries to make Shchi like he remembers from home, but is so disoriented from the ridiculous training exercise he invented that he just throws some cabbage and potatoes into a pot of water for a bit and then is confused when it isn’t even close.

With the Foundation, a lot of people forgo kindness because they believe it makes people weak or unable to perform their duties. You use kindness as a strength. You can do the unethical things, but you save it as a last resort whenever possible.

I also want to mention though, I’m temporarily suspending any writing for the character Shaw. Due to ongoing issues, much of the information relating to Shaw is gone, and for good reason. I think they are in the process of writing a cool new story for the character Dr. Shaw, one that is not tainted by the horrible things done by the previous author. Once that is released, I will happily update this!

Clef:

Clef is the type of person to go with the flow no matter what, so I don’t really think your kind nature would “throw him off” per se, but it would intrigue him greatly. A lot of what he does is inherently unethical, so it would be difficult for you to work with him.

You and Clef meet at one of his reality bender seminars. After meeting a bender in real life and losing a friend to it, you knew they were something to take seriously. The Foundation has a strict “kill first, questions later” policy around Reality Benders that you are all too familiar with, but the thought of killing someone who doesn’t even understand their abilities doesn’t sit right with you in spite of the things you’ve experienced. You and about 50 others were in a room, when the windows and floors began morphing and carnivorous tables surrounded you. Clef had a team watching every single one of you, but what was unexpected was your behavior. You spent the entire duration of the attack aiding those who were hurt, bringing them to chairs and such. You evaded the desks with speed, but were non-combative. You were seen as a low-level threat. Which is why it was so shocking that you, with lightning speed, grabbed a folding chair from the side of the stage and hit Clef over the back of the head with it. You found Clef’s blind spot and you were faster than any staff could react. Although hurting anyone wasn’t ideal, you knew how dangerous reality benders could be, and knocking the source of the madness unconscious the most ethical thing you could do. It would be giving 50 others the time to leave.

Clef awakes to you sitting over him and checking the bruise on his scalp. The room was empty, every other person left as soon as the aerosolized counteragent was preemptively pumped into the air to allow the emergency medical team to do their job without dealing with mayhem. They all ran out early, but you stayed to bandage his head. Once you noticed he was awake, you grabbed his ukulele to use his proper name to address him. Even in his slightly dazed state, he was intrigued by your behavior. His first comment was that if he was a reality bender, you should’ve killed him instead of staying to help. You replied with a certain denial. The Foundation kept him alive for a reason, murder would be wrong unless absolutely necessary.

When Clef demanded you work under him, you thought it was retaliation for hurting him, but it wasn’t. In the day-to-day, Clef isn’t usually surprised by much, but you surprised him. Your behavior is fine to him, although it is abnormal compared to what he is used to. He actually thinks that you use your kindness in a way that it’s an advantage to you. He’d be annoyed if it made you spineless, but you’ve had multiple arguments with him where you’ve advocated that what he is doing is too unethical to the D-class. He is especially hard on you, but he likes having you around because he needs someone to catch him on some of his plans sometimes.

Even though you’d probably never let him know it, you’d likely dislike him intensely. He’s a liar and a manipulator, and the longer he’s known you, the more he has made you stop taking people at their word. You realize through solely a professional lens, you both do your best work together because your personalities are nearly opposite. He realized you were a natural at dealing with reality benders, and he was right. You do amazing work together. However, on a personal level, you might hate working with him. You’re forced to hurt people a lot in situations where you’re dealing with reality benders, and you wish you were in a position where that wasn’t such a requirement.

Kondraki:

Kondraki…doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get you. And he’s not gonna try all that hard to do so.

The last time he left the lab for an extended vacation, SCP-408 got way out of control. It started harassing people because nobody remembered to feed it. However, he recently noticed its sugar water would always be filled up when he got into work late. If he stayed home an extra hour because he was tending to a headache, he no longer had to deal with any agitated butterflies.

It wasn’t until a few months later, when he walked in about 30 minutes late and saw you filling up their sugar water. He had no chance of recognizing your name, but was pretty sure you lived in the same Foundation apartment complex as him. Although he very gruffly questioned you on why you were accessing spaces without permission, he didn’t do a whole lot otherwise.

After that, he noticed you a lot more. He noticed you actually lived in the apartment directly to his left, and deduced that you probably fed the butterflies if you could hear him stumbling about his kitchen fixing a hangover cure through the walls. That made sense. He asked you a few weeks later how long you’d lived there, and you replied that you’d been there for a year and a half. But he was able to leave the Foundation Site for longer periods of time now that he knew someone cared enough to actually feed the butterflies in his absence.

Once the two of you start working more closely together and talk for a bit longer, he realizes that he won’t ever understand your outlook on life. He’s not going to try, either. In the Foundation, politeness can kill, and he’s not going to try and see it from your point of view. But he won’t mind taking advantage of your nature. Sending you out for his groceries with a list and some cash slid under your door because “you’re already on your way”, which you never once complain about. Stealing your food when he’s incredibly drunk and never apologizing for it. Asking you to take on some of his paperwork “just this once”. Living next to you for multiple years and never bothering to learn your name. You put up with parts of it, because you don’t really believe that kindness is something that can be taken advantage of. But you’re also not afraid to put your foot down or say no when he asks for something you don’t have the time for, because you’re not gonna give him a poor-quality result.

As for you, you don’t really mind him. You realize that he doesn’t really care about you, but he does in some ways respect you. He becomes more mindful of how loud he is when he’s hungover, and he leaves $5 more than he thinks the groceries will cost to make sure you’ll have enough to cover his stuff. He leaves a copy of his key with you in case he is drunk and loses his keys again, so he trusts you, but you don’t really know him that well because I don’t think he would let down his guard around someone he believes can’t last very long in such a calculating environment.

Gears:

Gears sees kindness as a weakness. That is it. He does not believe that you are well-suited for a Foundation environment.

When you first came to Gears’s attention, it was because you had gotten two humanoid SCPs to converse with you, both of which hadn’t made a sound in months. One was a 23-year-old female, the other a 12-year-old male. You had complete interview logs, too. None of the supervisors or researchers could figure out what made them talk to you and not anyone else.

Upon bringing you in for a “chat” (read: interrogation) he realized something almost immediately: you were committed to understanding the SCPs. You read their entire files, including their retrievals, and you realized that the two that were not speaking were put into incredibly traumatizing situations where they watched their friends and family get hurt. The 12-year-old watched his dog get tranquilized for making too much noise and almost alerting the neighbors, and it was clear from the recordings that he thought his dog was murdered. He refused to speak because he thought making noise was dangerous. You were able to convince him to speak by breaking protocol, showing him a recent Facebook photo of the dog from his mom, and giving him a stuffed dog plushie. He would only speak in the quietest whispers, but you got vital information from him. The woman was also taken in a traumatic way, but you were able to build a repertoire with her and she would write responses to you on a slate.

The Foundation, and by association Gears, do not like this at all. Every Foundation enployee is supposed to be replaceable, so the fact that they are becoming dependent on you and you are breaking standard protocol makes Gears nervous. However, you point out that you filled all the correct paperwork to be able to break standard procedure, and upon pulling those files, Gears realized that was also true. He realized you were slowly introducing both SCPs to other researchers, and slowly seeing them less and less as they became more comfortable speaking around them.

So, Gears lets you continue in your position, but he is watchful. He will always be weary of you, despite the fact that you follow the procedure plans to the letter and that you work to make the anomalies comfortable around other researchers as well. You are not making yourself irreplaceable, but Gears believes that your nature will inevitably make you refuse an order, so he will almost never trust you.

Iceberg:

Iceberg learned a lot from Gears, so he might have the same reservations. Completely honestly though, I could see Iceberg going either way.

If you and Ice met in the cafeteria, I think you’d get along pretty well. Many staff find him forgettable or unlikeable, but you’d talk to him. Go along with calling him “Ice”, which other researchers don’t do because they think it’s stupid. He’d totally be down to have a friend to mess around with explosives with, and for once, he’d feel like he isn’t just some forgettable, replaceable cog in the machine. He likely will say a lot of wack stuff, but you’re very kind when he does. You wouldn’t make any weird faces, you’d just listen and then possibly try to provide a different perspective. I think he would definitely view you as lesser than himself if your clearance is lower, and view you with jealousy if you were able to get a clearance that was higher.

If you met Ice due to work, he probably would not like you all that much. The reason being, if you’re meeting him at work, then you are pretty unique to the Foundation. Even if your clearance remains low, you are most certainly going to get assigned to unique tasks. If Ice never met you in any other context outside of work, there might be some resentment.

Glass:

As a newly assigned therapist to Site-17, I think you and Glass would be on pretty much the same page. I believe it is somewhere in the notes of some tale that he got reprimanded for advocating to be able to speak to the SCPs, and I think a kind researcher would likely have the same approach.

You meet Glass for the first time because he scheduled a one-on-one meeting to speak with you. He’d stop spinning his pen with his fingers just long enough to shake your hand properly. Upon introductions, you both handle things very professionally at first, not diverging from the standard pleasantries. However, Glass’s job is to figure out if you will be good at your job, so he quickly pushes it. He breaks standard procedure to test you by warning you about some folks. You, like everyone else, respond with enthusiasm.

However, what he notices when checking in on you at six months, at a year, at two years, is that you never once lose that enthusiasm. You are there to do a job, and your job is to help others be able to do their jobs. And you love your job! The stories people tell are fascinating and you genuinely enjoy helping them solve a problem or navigate an issue. You’ve started having people request you specifically, and Glass is proud of you for that. He still loves his job and loves to help the people around him, but he became more guarded as time went on. You deal with some of the “difficult” folks with ease. Glass is excited that you’re able to maintain such a positive environment, but it also takes some of the burden away from him. The Foundation tends to try to send all the “difficult” folks to meet with him, so the fact that you can also manage those situations is something he is relieved about.

Rights:

Rights is regarded as one of the few people on site who did not become a cold and calculating figure. She maintained a lot of herself, even in the stressful environment of studying SCPs, so I think she would get along very well with someone she realized was not the same cold and calculating as everyone else.

She saw you around a few times, but you had never really interacted. But she started hearing stories about you. Just hearing your name occasionally, until she’d heard it enough that she could recognize you easily. She’d see you sometimes and you’d be smiling and joking around with some folks. At first, people are hesitant, but they do enjoy being around you once they understand you are nice to them because you want to be, not because you want something.

She orchestrates a situation where the two of you have to interact. It could be a work thing, it could be bumping into you on the way to your office, but she struck up a conversation and the two of you began to build a friendship.

Rights would love hanging out with you outside of work. Even if it’s not your scene, she’d drag you to the mall and find a way to make sure both of you had fun. Most of the people here would be work friends, but she’d be a really good friend inside and outside of work, and she’d be willing to work to maintain that relationship.

In addition, you would like Rights. She’s fun, she’s cool, and if necessary, she will absolutely say mean things to others on your behalf so that you don’t have to.

Strelnikov:

Strelnikov is weary of you from the moment he meets you. Reason being, you smile what a Russian would consider an unnatural amount. He gets on well with the MTF folks because they’re usually experienced, and therefore, don’t usually show a whole lot of emotion. But you’re the sprog, no experience in an MTF at all. He would very likely request your transfer if you smiled even once while he was in the general vicinity, even if it was at mealtime.

Upon requesting your transfer, he gets access to your files and is shocked to learn you came from a GOI. You have more experience than most of the people in his MTF. Regardless of which version of Strelnikov you subscribe to, the man has a decorated past and can recognize that you have an absurdly specialized resume; one that is valuable to a team like his.

He doesn’t want to pull you into his office to talk about it, because then he’d have to admit he tried to transfer you. So, he trails behind you after work to find you at a bar, by yourself. It’s a perfect, casual opportunity to talk.

Then, I get a medical bill for thousands of dollars that my insurance had promised to cover because their AI system apparently falsely told me it’d be covered, failed every single test I took this week, and got rejected from every summer program I applied to. I knew the fanfiction curse was real from when I got cancer and all, but like…I’m not killing doves over here. I don’t write smut, and I barely even touch upon romance ever just because I feel the fandom I write for lends itself more healthily to solely platonic headcanons. I don’t know what part of my content is so upsetting to whoever is in charge, but genuinely can you spread it out a little? Or better yet, save some misery for the non fanfiction authors?

What would be the researchers/personnel's opinions on a new anomaly who is basically just someone from our reality who accidentally no-clipped, is essentially an SCP fan and knows everything about them?

I think I get it, so like an isekai-ed situation? Let’s hope you don’t know too many of the cognitohazards, being in that universe while knowing about 2718 or something like that might not be fun :p

Clef:

Clef is a lying bastard, but also one of the smartest cookies the Foundation has (they don’t let you be THAT crazy unless you are). If he met you out on the streets, I think he might notice it just from the way you stare at all the familiar looking researchers. He might suspect you’re a GOI operative, but either way, he’d be one to directly go up to you and try to figure out which variety of pain in his ass you were gonna be. It would take him very little time to realize something is way off. You’re not off-put by him, you seem almost…excited to be meeting him? And you already seem to know everything about the SCiP they’re looking for. Depending simply on how annoyed he is by you on any particular day, and how difficult the SCiP is shaping up to be, he will either directly have some of his friends directly contain you there and then, or he will let you give the team some advice before containing you and bringing you back to the Site.

You’d be questioned a lot, until the truth finally comes out. You somehow jumped universes, but there’s just no physical way for you to jump back. Your Humes are the exact norm for this universe, and you swear it wasn’t an anomaly that brought you here, so for all you know, you are indefinitely stuck. They debated for a long time over whether to classify you as an anomaly, but Clef argued pretty simply that by the standards of this universe, you are perfectly normal. Even though you are more than technically an anomaly, the Foundation decides to give you permission to work on Site under a list of strict conditions.

Clef would fight very hard to have you either as an assistant, or as an MTF agent in his Task Force. Reason being: He wants to know everything you do. You’ve got access to info he doesn’t have, and he would want to know about it. The Foundation would probably make both of you sign some pretty hefty paperwork that allows you to share whatever information you have with him, so long as it stays between the two of you (and maybe the O5s when they listen in). I don’t believe the Foundation would ever try to give an order that couldn’t be followed, such as that you weren’t allowed to talk about your past experiences. I think they’d know it’d come up in conversation eventually and would rather plan around that. Clef would be generally more comfortable around you than others, assuming that you’re respectful. If you try to bring up his past, or 343 forbid, call him Francis, he won’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes. If he brings up any details first, you can engage in conversation, but you probably shouldn’t be the one to mention it.

Kondraki:

Kondraki looks significantly more human than many of the other researchers, and you may have a hard time picking him out from a crowd. However, if you saw him in a public space with some more uncanny agents, he’d notice very quickly that someone is watching him. He might grumble a little about it, but he’s used to people staring at any group of researchers and might not think too much of it.

That's until he starts seeing you around more often. He'll be in the grocery store, and you'll stare at him like a deer in headlights for just a split second before leaving. After this happening a few times, he knows and you know something is up. But he won't do anything about it, not directly. He definitely wouldn't file any paperwork to report it. He may just tell some of his colleagues about it, and those more equipped will choose to deal with it on their own.

Once you get brought in, questioned, and eventually cleared for work after long debates, he'd get even more upset. At this point, nobody has told him about you, so all he's heard is many different strains of information from unreliable sources. However, it's like you happen to be in every location that he's in at the exact same time, and he's starting to get way creeped out by it. He eventually would confront you directly. It would likely be threatening, and likely with a sword. He'd ask you what your problem is, why you look like that around him. Due to the threat on your life, it's in your best interest to reveal some vague details. Keep it simple, but not simple enough that he is distrusting. If he keeps pushing, you can tell him everything. You're considered an incredibly valuable resource by the Foundation, so death by butterfly might not be the way to go. After you tell him everything, he will look at you skeptically for just a few seconds, before walking away even more frustrated.

If you're forced to work with him, he might be able to tolerate you, but I believe it is best that you keep your distance.

Gears:

Gears would find out about you during the initial interrogation phase when you were brought in. Reason being? He has sufficient clearance on almost all SCPs, and he's been asked to test your knowledge. By answering a few basic questions, one that GOIs couldn't possibly have the information on, he realizes that you are telling the truth.

From that point on, he spends a lot of time on logistical decisions. Working out the paperwork of it all, the conditions of your employment, all of it. He knows you have to stay in the Foundation, and you can either be employed under strict supervision, or they can lock you up and you never get to leave again. So, one option is more appealing than the other. The process is brutal, and it includes surgically installing a tracking chip within your body in case you try to leave the Site without permission. He will work very closely with you, though, keeping an eye on you. Because nobody can really agree on if you're an anomaly, your situation is highly irregular and he will be managing it. Any time you leak any information to someone with insufficient clearance, you will be answering directly to him.

Iceberg:

I know I make Iceberg sound too incel-y sometimes, and I portray him like he's just this one negative character in a bunch of interesting ones, and I just feel like this wouldn't be one of those cases. I believe he is a multi-faceted character who can both be insecure and depressed at times, but also just a fun person to be friends with others depending on which canon you are following at the time. This would be the latter case in my opinion.

Ice would hear the rumors about you circulating but doesn't really know what to believe. He heard you got brought in by MTF Alpha-1, so it's something SERIOUS. The rumors range from that you are an undercover O5, to that you assassinated some of the O5 council, to that you were a GOI operative who hacked into the Site's heavily encrypted database and learned about every single SCP. Regardless of the characteristics surrounding you, Iceberg would have something to gain from your friendship: a promotion. He's been dying to be promoted for years, with no luck, and it's theorized in most cases that you have all the information on every single SCP in containment.

As he gets to know you, he realizes that is partially true. As you become closer friends, you confide in him about your past, about how you are stuck in a universe that isn't your own. And he confides in you about his difficulties getting a promotion, and how that's affected him. By the time that you've mastered his new formula for a specific type of explosive, the friendship that the two of you have built is genuine. It doesn't mean he won't lash out at you sometimes or say out-of-pocket stuff, but I believe that your situation would make Ice genuinely have a respect for you, and he would likely listen if you had a conversation with him about that stuff.

Glass:

Glass wouldn’t meet you until you’ve already been taken in and processed as an employee. Once the Foundation determined it was a risk to have you roaming free with that information, they didn’t have much of a choice but to hire you. However, I believe the Foundation would realize incredibly quickly that it’s really traumatic to leave your universe and enter this one, and Glass has some experience under his belt with people who have ended up in other dimensions, like Talloran.

So they decide it’s a no brainer to assign you to weekly, Foundation-mandated therapy. They require both of you to sign paperwork to be able to speak about all the SCPs and information you know, but unlike some previous cases, the Foundation actually places some super strict limitations upon you and what you are allowed to say when speaking to Glass. Unlike Clef, for instance, you are NOT allowed to tell Glass about any mental hazards you know of. It felt too unethical to allow you to speak about that with someone who is required to do this.

Glass does a really good job of helping you adjust. Suggests activities. Compares and explains social norms caused by the differences in realities. It’ll never stop being difficult to you, you’ll always find some new surprises. but Glass is very willing to help you learn more about it.

Shaw:

I think Shaw would actually be super uninterested. They've lived for a long time; there isn’t much for them to learn. And even if there is, they are kind of tired. So, when you get brought in and eventually become a staff member, Shaw's not super impressed, but they don't inherently dislike you either. Shaw also knows all they want to know about every SCP, so your knowledge doesn't interest them either. They might invite you to join his "ring", of which they are the official bookie.

Shaw's disinterest will have its positives and negatives. For one, there’s a lot of gossip about you. Shaw probably wouldn’t partake and would likely just treat you like any other researcher. It’s good to have someone like that. However, their disinterest in you sets you apart from any people on this list you might have developed friendships with, and you might not be given a whole lot to do if you are working under them. You probably won't be researching new anomalies, they'll just put you back on old ones that you already know about.

Oh yeah, Shaw would also try hypnosis to "pull" the winning lottery numbers out of your subconscious memory. Multiple times.

Rights:

Rights would hear the rumors when you started working, same as everyone else, but would walk up to you with a smile anyways and ask how you are doing. She'd listen intently, and after a few accumulated hours over a long period, she might ask if you know about the rumors. When you confirm that you do, she will ask you to confirm which are true so that she can tell everyone else to knock it off. When you explain the situation, in minimal detail, she seems very sad for you. Rights would recognize how uniquely hard it must be to live in a dimension that isn't your own. What is different here? When you begin to explain the differences you've noticed, she realizes just how integral those things are to her life.

If you've been employed for some time, she would 100% throw you a "Happy Dimension Jumping Day!" on the day of the anniversary of your travel. It'd be extremely bittersweet. Rights is known to enjoy drawing, so she might draw pictures of the descriptions you've given of your family or pets. She'd try to plan the party in a way that it highlights the things that are different in your dimension, but have it so that she and you have to do the things you remember from home, as a way to remind you of it. It makes you feel a lot better. She makes sure that even though it's been a year, you still have a space to remember what your home is like.

It's incredibly hard to live in a different dimension, but Rights would try to remind you of your home while also making you feel welcome in her own.

Strelnikov:

Your situation will be explained to Strelnikov before they add you to his MTF, and he would actually be quite excited to have you at first. You know a lot more than Intel will ever tell them, so you can give some very handy advice. However, the longer you're on their team, the more parts that irk him arise. For one, the Foundation has mandated that your life should be valued above the rest of his team, as your knowledge is too vital to lose. That doesn't sit right with him at all. He's in charge, but in a life-or-death situation, every member of his team is an equal, and he will not prioritize one life over the other. After some choice words thrown around with the command, he insists that if they give him that order, he will not be able to follow it, and they can find someone else. They might move you to a different team, or they might relent and let Strelnikov do what he needs to do.

Alright, let’s go! I have some ideas for this one. For this, I am going off the premise that you are coming out to them, and then maybe a little extra past that depending on the scenario. I do acknowledge SCP-113 sometimes as a transition method, but I try to make sure that it’s not dominating the discussion, as I believe it would probably be the choice of the personnel if they wanted to transition through anomalous or non-anomalous methods. I also have written it as FTM transition.

Clef:

If you try to come out to Clef, you should know that he already has known for a long time. People who identify as women are naturally repulsed by him, but you weren’t, so he was pretty sure that on some level, you didn’t quite identify that way. When you actually come out to him, he will draw it out for you, making it as difficult and uncomfortable an experience as possible. He might pretend not to know what “trans” means or stare at you in silence just to draw out your suffering. But he won’t say or do anything transphobic to you when you come out. He is generally kind of supportive, he just wanred to cause chaos for a little bit if possible. I imagine the response you get might be “Congratulations, now can you hurry the fuck up on document 18-B for the test tomorrow so I can have it approved?” or “You could be a pumpkin for all I care, just SHOOT the bastard!”.

Clef will make a lot of jokes. Many of them will border on transphobia. Many of them will be outright transphobia. Despite this, I would advise against thinking that Clef is inherently transphobic. Clef doesn’t actually care what your identity is, and is glad that your performance rating is up after you started feeling more comfortable in your body. That won’t stop him from sometimes taking it too far and making hurtful comments, even if it’s not necessarily in line with his belief system. So even though he is totally fine with it, he might give off the impression he is not just because to him, it is the funnier option to make dumb jokes. He would react this way whether you are MTF, a researcher working underneath him, or his very best friend. Feel free to deliver a swift blow to the back of his head (or get creative if he’s saying particularly bad stuff” if he says something transphobic to you.

Kondraki:

Despite what I think some might believe, I think he’d be reasonably supportive. Kondraki has a lot of trouble in the moment with situations like this just because he doesn’t know what to say. Kondraki isn’t known for being the world’s best coworker, so I think you might catch him totally by surprise when you come out because he just didn’t care to be observant. He’ll probably mumble out an “…okay” and then continue on with what he was doing. This doesn’t leave you a whole lot to go off. Does he hate you now? You work together sometimes on research projects so it’d be kind of unfortunate if he was always this awkward around you.

However, in a few days, you might find a very short email in your inbox from him. “I’ve switched any mention of you in my files to he/him pronouns. Sent from iPhone”. If he knew you a little more or if he was close to you, he would write a slightly more heartfelt message. Slightly. I forget what tale it’s in, but one of them has a letter to Draven Kondraki about how Benjamin Kondraki always suspected his son was gay, and was okay with it either way. I suspect it might be at that same level of message for those he is much closer to.

Gears:

If you come out to Gears, he will focus on the logistics more than anything. Do you want the proper forms required for exposure to SCP-113? Are you looking for any particular medical support or accommodations from the Site? If you’re working at Site-19 with Gears, you very likely will be living on-site, so he can get you in contact with the correct people to support you here. You’ll have to go through a lot of other proper channels, but Gears can at least provide you with the names of the individuals you’re supposed to talk to.

If he worked very closely with you, you might get a brief congratulations, but I just don’t think he’d really care. He probably wouldn’t be transphobic, but he also wouldn’t care about your experiences that brought you there either. I believe Gears overall focus would be on getting you what you need regardless. Gears will also switch your paperwork over to he/him, but on a much larger scale than others are able to. He can change pretty much any site form, including any medical stuff, so it can be significantly easier on you.

Iceberg:

Ice will not be as supportive as you hoped. When you come out to him, he says he is…fine… with it, but might give you a weird look. He won’t misgender or deadname you on purpose, but he won’t make a huge effort to correct it when he does on accident. Even if you’ve touched SCP-113 and have transitioned on a chromosomal level or gone through a multi-year transition process, I still think you’d be misgendered. A lot of this comes from that I’ve perceived Iceberg as a deeply insecure individual who maybe doesn’t feel comfortable in his own masculinity, so his reaction might not be helpful. If you are close friends with him, the effort that he will make is that sometimes he gets your pronouns right.

(Some others have a headcanon that Iceberg is trans himself and even in that case, I STILL think he might act weird around someone who is very openly trans. Iceberg seems like he would want to hide the fact that he transitioned in order to be seen as a “real man” even by those who are transphobic, but it just leads him to being transphobic sometimes when someone is openly trans.)

Shaw:

Shaw is canonically pretty genderfluid, so I don’t think you would even need to have a “coming out”. I think regardless of your relationship to them, they’d be cool with it. If you did want to come out to them, they might use it as an excuse to break out their hidden confetti cannon or something. Shaw can just transition into whatever body suits their identity though, so they might have a conversation about what you’re going to do from there, and perhaps marvel at the medical forthcomings in relation to gender-affirming care. I think Shaw would care, in the way that they would care that you are comfortable and would want to make sure that is the case.

If your request to use SCP-113 got denied, I guarantee Shaw is the only person who would break it out of containment and throw it at you. Once the process has started, it bonds with your skin for the next 80.2 seconds, so you can’t stop the process then. Shaw probably wouldn’t care about why you got denied, so if you for denied for “concerns of poor health”, Shaw’s overzealous could very well kill you.

Glass:

Glass will sign off on any note needed to get the care you deserve and will help you with your gender dysphoria. Glass has a crush on Diogenes, so I imagine all the times that Glass “mentally rehearsed” to try and get close to them would pay off, as he’d be super knowledgeable on some of the general experiences of trans, nonbinary, and genderfluid individuals. If you come out in a therapy session, Glass will handle it with professionalism. Probably will want to have a much deeper discussion about how you realized and what that means for you, and then will discuss steps forwards from there. Glass might want to take it reasonably slow though and would probably schedule extra therapy sessions before approving any hormonal treatments, surgeries, or exposure to SCP-113.

Rights:

Rights would probably congratulate you excitedly. She might throw a surprise “gender reveal” party where you get to cut open a blue cake. She’d support you and do a ton of research so that she could have conversations with you about it over lunch or something. She would probably still invite you to “Girl’s Nights”, although she would mandate that the name is changed to a gender neutral alternative and she would enforce that others follow as well. Even if you decide that you are no longer comfortable attending events like that, she wants to make sure that any other individual that identifies as a non-woman feels accepted as well, so the language will permanently be changed to acknowledge that it’s meant to be inclusive to others as well.

Strelnikov:

I think this one has some interesting implications :) For the larger Sites, everyone has to live very close by, so if an employee had kids, they would be physically close enough for many of the employees here to interact with them. For a teenager, I kind of went under the assumption that they were brought into the facility out of necessity, and that is where many of those interactions come from.

Clef:

Clef would be pretty good with kids. Bad with teens. With kids, especially other researcher’s kids, he loves tormenting his colleagues, because now their kid knows how to make napalm. I think Clef does have a soft spot for kids just a little (as shown in the SCP-682 test files), so I think he’d be like a very fun uncle to most kids, so long as they’re not reality benders.

Teenagers are worse because from the perspective of Clef, teenagers act like they know everything. I think he’d get fed up if any teenager gave him attitude, and I believe he would be MUCH stricter with them in both research and MTF settings than say, someone older than 25. That doesn’t mean he hates teenagers. In fact, he’d probably warm up to them pretty easily. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be impossibly strict with them. I think he would talk to them sometimes to learn the new slang just so he could annoy the researchers his own age.

Kondraki:

Hates kids. Likes teenagers. Kondraki definitely would not be a fan of babies. They don’t do anything really, just sit there, take up space, time, money, and on top of that they cry which annoys him. However, as the age of the kid increases, he’ll be less uncomfortable around them, but probably still very bad at being around them. He will try to pass the responsibility off to others. For example, if the kid asks for help getting a glass of water, he’d send them to find Rights or something even if he’s right in front of the water cooler.

Teenagers is the age demographic where they start to be independent and have their own personalities, so he’d get along much better with teenagers than he would with kids. You can talk to them and they will have real coherent replies that sometimes share a different perspective. So he would get along well with teenagers more, and he’d be open to giving them life advice and such now that they can understand it better.

Gears:

They’re fine. Everyone I’ve listed so far has had children, and that includes Gears. However, it sounds like Gears has been a pretty absent parent. I think he thinks kids are alright, as are teens, but maybe lacks the understanding of what that means. A 10-year-old and a 14-year-old are in different places in their lives and while I’m sure he knows the textbook hormone changes. he is not really sure of how that impacts their lives. He would be more than open to watching a child if the Foundation told him to, but he would also be very keen on getting them passed off to someone else. Make a special partition for them or something, but Gears is so bogged down with paperwork that unless the kid/teen is an assistant, he won’t want to interact with them all that much.

Iceberg:

He doesn’t like anyone younger than him. He strikes me as the type of guy who, when he was a sophomore in high school, would complain about the freshmen. That carries over to work. I believe that he doesn’t particularly like children, but in general, he also doesn’t like it when anyone younger than him works at the Foundation, because it means that a lot of the attention is transferred over to the next prodigy. For kids, he wouldn’t like being around them at all and would argue he is not a babysitter. However, For a teen who is at the Foundation especially, I think Ice would believe they were trying to steal his job and would get incredibly jealous if they received promotions that he did not.

He’s young for a Foundation employee and reasonably immature anyways, so it’s not a bad idea to prevent this guy from interacting with kids all that much.

Shaw:

Obviously this is coming before a lot of the rewrites, so this might end up being inaccurate pretty soon.

Shaw is an undetermined amount of years old, but they’re definitely at the very least, older than all their coworkers. At a certain point, even though they’re in a young body, their mind gets so old that all their coworkers seem young to them. Obviously a baby is physically smaller, but Shaw’s seen it all. Some toddlers are taller than Dr. Trebuchet, so physical size isn’t a good metric. Therefore, I do not believe kids or teenagers would get any special treatment, as I believe every one of Shaw’s coworkers gets grouped into “young” in their mind. I do believe that this means they would have very little restraint around kids. From this, I would assert that they should never be allowed around anyone under the age of 18.

Glass:

I mean, Glass is a therapist and would probably be pretty decent at interacting with kids, but if it came to therapy, he would probably decline to work with any child or teen. The reason for this being simply that he’s sure there’s someone else with more experience with both of those groups who could do a better job. Glass has enough trouble with the adults. He might make an exception if there was a teenager who happened to be at the Foundation for some non-anomalous reason, but probably a pretty hard stance against children.

If it is purely how he interacts with them outside of a therapy environment, I think he’d be fine with either. Out of every researcher on this list, I think Glass is the only one who would take a child to the park if he was babysitting for the day. He’d also be very good at respecting the independence of a teenager, so I think both would work out pretty well.

Rights:

Rights is a motherly figure to many at the Foundation. That being said, please do not make her responsible for other people’s kids all the time. She’ll be nice enough to kids, but if she feels like someone is taking advantage of her just because she’s a woman who isn’t unkind to children, they’ll have to deal with the wrath that is having Rights upset at them. She can very easily turn the entire Foundation staff against someone, so just keep that in mind. I think she’d generally like kids, but doesn’t want to have her own and doesn’t necessarily like the implications of having children near a facility.

With teens, I think she also doesn’t want them inside a facility. This is a dangerous place, and a 13-year-old showing up would not sit right with her, even in the case that their presence was a necessity. She’d probably do her best to ensure that they never meet Shaw or some of the more characterful employees.

Strelnikov:

He just seems like he would censor himself around a kid, but after saying the swear word. Like “Сука блят…oh, I means Ой блин”. Kid’s gonna learn a lot of Russian swears. While I wouldn’t recommend most people on here be allowed to watch a child, I especially wouldn’t want Strelnikov. While Kondraki is also an alcoholic in my mind and should probably also not be watching a baby, Strelnikov seems like he might be a little less high-functioning when he drinks.

He shows up to work either in a full suit or hawaiian shirt, but he always wears crocs with his outfit. He’s sexist and only employs 3 women and one of them is a secretary (which sucks a little bc I’m a girl and he frequently overlooks and underestimates me) but I’m genuinely so fascinated by his behavior?

He built a rail gun out of spare parts from pieces of stuff from our lab. He owns more than 3 houses and drives this ugly cybertruck. One day he was bored in the lab so he (He’s the BOSS btw, like in charge of every single one of us) filled a bunch of balloons with hydrogen and set them on fire. He wears expensive, gaudy watches and I’m pretty sure my lab has never once been in OSHA compliance but he just pays the fines and doesn’t fix the problems, and the place that supplies our funding doesn’t care because we are successful?

I hate to be like “This guy reminds me of Clef”, but I don’t think it’s possible to work in a lab with someone more like Clef. Like I heard a rumor that this guy has open-carried in the lab once because he came in on his day off to grab something and forgot about it. Like they say about Clef: most of the stuff you hear is bullshit. The other stuff is also bullshit, but maybe has a tinge of truth to it. The amount of stories I’ve heard about this man could be its own blog but it does get me through long days to hear this man yelling down the hall about something stupid he’s gonna do or something stupid he wants someone else to do for him.

Hey, thanks! I got a minor bout of finals flu and had to do research on a bunch of different music genres so forgive me for my tardiness XD

Clef:

Clef seems like he’s well-listened, and pretentiously so. Most likely a fan of classic rock, but he can also lecture you about the reason a particularly crunchy jazz chord was significant to the meaning of the piece. He also seems like the type of guy who can name the album that a song is from and the year it was released. Clef just really likes music.

Despite this, I don’t imagine he can play very well. Maybe a few songs on the ukelele, but Clef seems like the type to get good at something and then drop it a few weeks later, so I don’t imagine they’ve stuck with anything long enough to play super well.

Favorite artist: Has too many to choose one; depends on the day.

Kondraki:

I think it’s cheating to say I came up with any ideas for Kondraki, because it says on his personnel file that he thinks classical music is ‘‘the only kind worth listening to”. However, while I do think he’ll make comments about Draven’s music being “noise” occasionally, I think he holds back a lot because he wants to listen to Draven’s music with him.

I don’t know if they canonically say that Kondraki plays any instruments, but I imagine he plays piano very well and is proficient in violin (less so than piano, though).

Favorite artist: Chopin

Gears:

Gears seems like he’d enjoy smooth jazz. Just the mellow vibes that he can tune out a little bit more easily when he needs to lock in. Despite this, I imagine he really secretly enjoys the music Iceberg plays. Just because he doesn’t express emotions often doesn’t mean he doesn’t like feeling stuff sometimes.

I think Gears could’ve been forced to play piano as a kid and been really good at it, but the emotion was never there. He could play Rachmaninoff particularly well, but was never able to be creative or fluid enough for jazz.

Favorite Artist: Mary Lou Williams

Iceberg:

Iceberg, as cold as he is, has a very fiery personality and I think he’d be into metal, although he tries to pull back a little and sticks to hard rock when playing music around Gears because he doesn’t think Gears enjoys the extremity of it. One of his favorite genres is symphonic doom because it makes him feel cool when he’s running explosives tests. He wears thick headphones to block out any loud noises from the explosions, and then blasts his music at full volume.

Definitely did not play any instruments except for maybe a few self-taught songs on guitar. This man can sing Wonderwall at you.

Favorite Artist: Lethian Dreams

Shaw:

Shaw has heard it all, they are over music at this point. They just feel neutral about all of it, honestly, and not much music really speaks to them anymore. Shaw also seems the most likely to be the type to listen to one song on repeat until they get sick of it. If anything at all, they miss the disco era and still occasionally listen to funk.

They have been around long enough to play most instruments with reasonable skill. They can carry a tune on 30+ instruments easily.

Favorite artist: Although they feel pretty neutral now, they were into The O’Jays.

Glass:

Glass gets overwhelmed by music very easily, but I imagine he likes pop music generally. Generally only listens to whatever’s on the radio or whatever is playing, although he will take the time to listen to any song request given by patients.

I think Glass probably played a woodwind in middle/high school. Clarinet maybe? Not good at it, but never got rusty in terms of skills.

Favorite Artist: Taylor Swift

Rights:

Rights doesn’t have a specific genre, dabbles in lots of places, but that’s exactly how she likes it. She also likes the mysterious vibes that come with not telling people what she listens to, so she’ll never clarify. She goes through phases, but punk rock was a long one spanning 8 months.

I don’t think she ever played an instrument, but I think she’d be a quick learner if she ever decided to.

Favorite Artist: Destroy Boys

Strelnikov:

Strelnikov doesn’t listen to music in English because he likes to be able to relax while listening, and spending all day translating is well…not easy. Despite this, I don’t think he’s into the gopnik stuff like dubstep. He’s a military man through and through, so old songs from his childhood are usually what he plays.

I really like the idea that he plays guitar. The picture of Strelnikov on the wiki looks like a man who could play guitar. Can do fingerstyle Russian lullabies or just play the chords and sing along.

Thanks! I love writing stuff so it works out great!

Clef:

The one piece of advice with Clef is don’t dish out what you can’t take. Clef’s response to being pranked would be considered a grand overreaction, and even the most minor of pranks would have him responding with a prank that could ruin your week, month, year, or life depending on how generous he’s feeling. Clef would not fight in a prank war, he would end the prank war immediately. That being said, you can prank Clef, he won’t tattle. He may or may not kill you, so be careful (we all know what happened with that D-Class Costume Party). It also depends on how well he knows you and if he sees you as an asset. If you prank him without knowing him well, it better be a damn funny prank or you’re not going to survive his counter-attack. Clef would be willing to “team up” in a prank war against someone else, but it would just be him sending you to go do his dirty work.

Kondraki:

Kondraki does not like pranks, don’t try it. He won’t tattle on you, but I just feel like he would have no issue holding you up against a wall by your collar and bashing your head in on it. I imagine Draven tried to prank him once, and was lectured for hours and grounded for weeks. He’s no snitch, but by the end of it, you’ll probably wish he was. Kondraki would absoutely not form an alliance with you in a prank war, and would fight anyone in participation.

Gears:

Why would you prank someone with no emotions who is so high-ranking? Like it’s an option, but not a good one. In terms of what he’d do, I don’t think it would be interesting. He’d call you in for questioning, call witnesses, and file a full-fledged incident report. Then, he’d let HR decide on an outcome. I don’t know if he can tattle to anyone since he’s at the top, but it would probably be the most boring outcome, until you find yourself mysteriously on 82 different mailing lists, all which send you daily emails…

Iceberg:

I feel like Ice would try to start a prank war and would want to have some fun rivalry going on, but he just doesn’t get pranks? Like, he’ll try to get back at you, but what he does just isn’t as funny. Like instead of moving your furniture three inches to the left, the he’d just throw a cup of water at you in passing, which would make anyone who sees it in passing just think he’s an asshole. He’s not trying to be, he just really wants to participate in a prank war with someone. Feel free to team up with him against another group of people, as long as you come up with the prank ideas. He’d be more than happy to help you execute your plans against other people, and would have a lot of ideas for how to better your pranks.

Shaw:

It’s a blast. Shaw is the reigning champ of prank wars, and has had ones that go on for months with Clef. Shaw has had so much time to come up with new pranks, and can reuse old pranks when people die, so they have a ton of material. Shaw is also nice to prank because they’ll match the intensity of your prank and won’t go much past it. Occasionally, a prank will push the boundaries, but when that happens, it is Shaw’s way of trying to egg you on to continue the battle. Usually, someone just kinda stops or you both will call a truce (for the time being), but once Shaw knows that you find pranks funny, they won’t really hesitate to prank you again. You may team up against someone sometimes, but Shaw holds no alliances and is really just doing this for fun.

Glass:

It depends on the nature of the prank. Glass will take harmless pranks in stride and enjoy them, but he is more aware than anyone else that not all pranks are harmless. Hurting someone’s self-esteem is a no-no for him, and so are any pranks that result in physical injuries. So, he might laugh if you wrap all his pens in wrapping paper, but he would not be a fan of someone ordering a singing telegram as a joke at his expense. Surprisingly, even with tame pranks, Glass will not prank you back. I think Glass is too concerned that his actions may hurt someone, so he will be unwilling to partake in your prank wars or join a team to prank someone else. If it goes too far, Glass’s reputation could be ruined, and he is not willing to do that when so many people trust him.

Rights:

When I talk about “prank alliances” forming in other people’s, I’m talking about Rights. She’ll form a prank alliance with someone to pull off some pretty crazy pranks, which’ll mean you may also need a partner to match her level. She does value her work, so I don’t recommend messing with that, but she’s okay with modertate-intensity pranks generally. She doesn’t really like long prank wars like Shaw, and prefers hers to last a week or so but not much longer. She will definitely ask for your help, maybe even if you’re a stranger. She has a ton of fun with these and likes to use it to bond with some coworkers.

Strelnikov: