Juices.

God bless my Little One…  She really tries to be a good girl.  She likes making me happy and proud of her, and she delights in earning my praise for a job well done.  One of the biggest hurdles for her towards this end is what I call the “Watch Me/Make Me” reflex.  It’s something that has always been there, and I’ve learned to adapt and to work with or around it instead of trying to simply squash it.

She’s not deliberately defiant.  She has a very strong brat streak to her, but not in a subversive or demeaning way.  She doesn’t try to undermine the dynamic, nor does she intentionally thwart my attempts to enforce structure and/or discipline.  The best way to describe how it works with her is that she needs to either really want to do the thing she’s being told to do, or she’s going to need to really understand why she’s being told to do it.  If you don’t earn her buy-in, you’re never going to get her compliance.  This last week is a perfect example of how this works.

With the re-emergence of this stalker, I’ve been absolutely insufferable.  I know this, I accept it, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to apologize for it.  It’s my job to worry after her and to keep her safe, and if I come across as brooding and a little overprotective, then that’s a cross that I’m willing to bear.  I know that she really wants to push back against the measures that I’m implementing, but she’s managed to fight that urge and soldier on.  I couldn’t be more proud.

One example:  

Me:  I don’t want you walking anywhere alone.

Her:  I’m going to be with a big group of people! 

Me:  I don’t just mean tonight.

Her: Okay.

She wasn’t happy about being flat out told what to do, but she didn’t argue it.  She accepted it and went with it, even if tasted like acid in her mouth.  Huge, HUGE props for that.

Another example:

Me: I’m going to send you some pepper spray to carry.

Her: I always have my knife on me.  I’ll be fine.

Me: Pepper spray is better than a knife.  Don’t fight me on this.

Her: Okay.

This one was BIG - she HATES it when I spend money on her, especially if she doesn’t see the value in it.  She likes to be independent and self-sufficient.  She doesn’t like relying on others or feeling like she always needs someone looking after her.  Another part of it is possibly that it is uncomfortable thinking about the fact that there could be a very real threat, and she really wants to just live her life without worrying about stuff like this.  Unfortunately, young women have to be very careful in this world, and even without this stalker popping up, these are all good practices for her to get into.

Being a daddy means a lot of things… It means knowing when his kitten isn’t feeling well and treating her like a princess even though she isn’t being especially well mannered that day.

Being a daddy means dropping everything you’re doing to drive 60mph back to her work to pick her up early without a moments notice because she’s too sick to keep going.

Being a daddy means taking her all the way home and laying her down on the bed to change her into “people clothes” because work clothes are yucky.

Being a daddy means not minding a single bit to drive his baby all the way out to the store to pick up some groceries and medicines for her tummy.

Being a daddy means pulling her binki out of thin air and popping it in her little mouth as you’re about to leave because you both know she looks so cute with it in.

Being a daddy means being patient and letting your darling look at and touch every little thing in the grocery store before you can even think about checking out.

Being a daddy means gently guiding your little one away from the ice cream aisle because that’s not exactly a balanced meal, but she still manages to get some anyway because of that look she gives you.

Being a daddy means making your baby her favorite dinner and making sure she is drinking enough water because you know it will surely put a smile on her face. Being a daddy means lots of forehead kisses and hand holding and laying his little girl over his lap for some much needed therapy spankings until she cries….

Because being a daddy means being there for your kitten.. Because it means knowing what she needs and wants and understanding and loving her unconditionally… It means holding her until the tears stop and kissing her little nose till the smiles won’t end..

So you have the Daddy part down to a tee… You’re loving, you’re caring, you’re there for her when she needs you and you encourage her to be the cute and bubbly Little Girl she really enjoys being.

But…

What about the Dom?

It’s all too easy to forget that you’re not just her Daddy, you’re her Daddy Dom. Your Little needs you to show her a strong, confident, powerful presence. If she wanted a wuss, she’d date one of the gazillion other guys willing to give her the time of day.

One of the most important qualities a Daddy Dom can have, is being able to take control of any situation, and be in charge, without being bossy or cocky.

Most women won’t admit it, but controlling, powerful men turn them on. This is why nice guys struggle to get the girl.

Take Charge

Let me give an example. You set up a date with your little over a week ago, and the night is finally here. She turns to you and says “What are we doing tonight Daddy?”. Now the nice guy, he replies with something along the lines of “Anything you want princess. What would you like to do?”, and that’s where he fucked up. No, just no. This is NOT what women want. The good Daddy Dom would reply with a solid, well thought out plan. He knows what she likes, and he’s confident enough to put together a night that they would both enjoy.

Know When To Say No

As much as you love her, and want her to be happy, you need to have the ability to say no. You can’t give her everything she wants, whenever she wants it. She doesn’t want that, and you shouldn’t either. She wants to be told no sometimes, she wants her Daddy to be confident enough to disagree with her, she wants to have to fight for the things she wants sometimes. After all, it’s about what you want as much as it is about what she wants. Having everything handed to you on a plate whenever you want it, without any effort, is just plain boring.

Learn To Read Her

Make the effort to get to know your Little, remember all of her little signs and mannerisms. Eventually, you’ll be at a point where you know what she wants, before she wants it. That is sexy.

Be Creative

One of the least sexy things you can do, is be predictable. So she’s broken a rule, she needs punishing. What are you going to do about it? What’s the first thing that comes into your head? Spanking? Then don’t spank her. Spanking has it’s place, but it’s just so overused and predictable, and we all know that most girls enjoy spanking. Is it really a punishment? Know your Little, know what you can do to really punish her, or she’ll never learn. Take away her favourite plush for a while, stop her from watching her favourite shows, make her do something that is a little outside of her comfort zone. Surprise her, keep her on her toes.

Be Unique

So you like to call her your little princess. Your angel. Your baby girl. Well guess what, so does every single other Daddy Dom. As much as any girl enjoys being called a princess, it sure does take away from the experience. Be different, do something unique that’s special to the two of you. That makes the bond stronger. Think long and hard about things you can do for her that no other guy can do for her. Give her something to brag to her friends about.

And most importantly, remember one thing…

DD/LG Is Not Just About Sex

Sure, sex is great, but so is feeling loved, cared for, protected, looked after, knowing someone loves you for you and not just your sex organs.

Be her Daddy, her Dom, and her Lover.

I’m writing this post because I know there are a lot of new daddies. I am a little and I have been in DD/lg relationships before. But my current daddy is a newbie to the whole dynamic. So this post is just a few things that you can do for your little!

1. Hold her hand while crossing the street, watching a scary movie or…just because.

2. Leave loving notes all over the place to surprise and delight your littles’ heart.

3. Brush her hair, help her bathe (bubble baths preferably), treat her stuffed animals like living creatures and talk with them.

4. Know all her stuffies’ names.

5. Punish misbehavior with time outs, spankings and occasionally make her write out an apology or things like “I won’t sneak a cookie before dinner” (50 times is good).

6. Take her to fun places that appeal to her inner little. Places like the zoo, a kids movie, build-a-bear, the swings at the park, an aquarium, or of course, the Disney store.

7. Reward good behavior with treats and kind words of encouragement.

8. Never lose your temper just because you are having a “bad day”.

9. Know all of her favorite foods, allergies, and all of her favorite things; whether it be color, hair bows, dress, or stuffies.

10. Bedtime routines. If you’re going to do something, make sure (if circumstances allow) that you do it everyday without fail. If you stop doing something you always did before, it makes the little feel as though they’ve done something wrong to lose that treat. Examples: brushing her hair, reading her a story, or just tucking her in at night.

11. A good Daddy Dom does not make idle threats. If you threaten a consequence for a certain behavior you are looking to change, and do not carry through, not only will the little not learn to break the habit, but they will take your threats with a grain of salt. Also, it may make the little feel unimportant if a consequence is not followed through with.

12. Always spend time reassuring your little of your love after a consequence. They need this assurance, and the knowledge that you still love and care for them. Aftercare is incredibly important. After all…this relationship is built upon trust.

13. Send your little a text message (or many) throughout the day if you must be apart. It warms their little heart!

14. Surprise her with a new stuffie from time to time. Maybe if they are down or are sick. Flowers and a stuffie is sure to brighten her/his day.

15. Watch a Disney movie of her choosing with her. And it doesn’t hurt to know her favorite one…and all the songs from it. Mine is Tarzan or Wreck it Ralph… in fact… they’re all my favourite.

16. All boo-boos, whether scratches, bruises and scrapes need to be looked after by her Daddy. Nothing makes a little feel safer and totally cared for than having a feel-better kiss, or their Daddy getting them a cool band-aid (Hello Kitty works well). Be sure to lavish them with lots of TLC!

17. If your little makes you something: no matter how big or small, you should always make them feel like their creation is cherished. Hang it up, save a pic on your phone so they see you like it and plan to look back at it…anything at all. Nothing is sadder than a pretty picture, colored with love and care, that is left sitting and collecting dust, and then forgotten.

18. If your little is in a playful, youthful mood (and you are not), do not roll your eyes, get mad or yell. Simply and calmly tell them that Daddy is not feeling playful right now. Everyone can’t be fun and playful all the time. Littles understand that…even if upset about it at times. So tell them, and that way no one’s feelings get hurt, or feels like they did something wrong.

19. Aid the age play dynamic. Do such things as carrying, lifting, and reaching high places for your little. It helps them feel as though they are seen as vulnerable and protected. Also, asking things like, “Are you sure you don’t need Daddy’s help putting that straw in the juice box?”, or “Maybe I should do that, it’s a big job, too big for you.” It keeps the little feeling happy and loved.

20. Ask your little to sit on your lap from time to time. It’s an instant smile and a blush trigger. Other things also work like tying their shoes, brushing their hair or buckling their seatbelt.

These are all simple and spontaneous things that you can do to make your little beam with pride from the attention given to them.

For those who may not know, Daddy and I are long distance; it’s difficult, but we make it work. A large part of what keeps us strong, is our scheduled skype calls throughout the week, and rules, that Daddy and I have worked on over the last almost 2 years, perfecting them to suit our needs and wants.

This past Friday night, I was heading out with a friend, which meant it was going to cut into some of our skype time. So, before Daddy called, I got ready, so I could stay on skype with him as long as possible and not have to go even earlier to get ready. I had a shower, put my makeup on, put on my prettiest red dress, that not only does Daddy love, but it’s actually the first purchase that I made, that I had to ask permission for. It’s lacey, very feminine and shows just the right amount of cleavage, that Daddy loves to admire, and it’s his favourite thing to see me in. He then calls shortly after I’ve done myself up and immediately comments on how great I look, how beautiful I am, which of course makes me blush, like crazy. He then says something along the lines “this is a nice surprise”. I then tell him, that he gets to see me in what I’m wearing tonight when out with my friend, still blushing and beaming knowing that he thinks I’m pretty. As soon as the words leave my mouth, though, I see him look me over, and he says “that shows quite a bit of cleavage”. He says it calmly, and I can see this uncomfortable look is his eye, something I don’t see often, I can tell he wants to ask me to change. He doesn’t usually have any problem taking control, immediately telling me what he wants, but this time, I could tell he was struggling, as this was untouched territory for us; he’s never told me that I couldn’t wear something, not ever, not once and because we’ve never discussed that level of control, I could tell he was treading lightly; he’s in control, yes, but didn’t want to come across as “controlling”. I watched the uncomfortable look in his eyes, and I could see his possessive nature growing. (I LOVE when Daddy gets possessive of me. 😍) So I simply, quietly spoke up and said “Daddy, would you like me to change?” And immediately I saw the relief in his eyes, as he said “yes”. He thanked me, and explained to me how he feels that red dress is for his eyes only, that I could choose another dress to wear, but he didn’t want other men looking at his girl, his property, in the red dress.

“Now look at me kitten.” I said, lifting her chin to make eye contact. “I won’t have you saying those words, they disgust me.”

“Are you my kitten,” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you belong to me?”

“Yes.”

“So when you call yourself ugly, you know your not only insulting yourself, but your insulting me, right?”

She tries to looked down, but I hold her chin firm. “ No, I didn’t realize that.”

“Your mine, your beautiful, your wanted and your needed,” I explained. “ I would be nothing without you.”

“Oh.. Daddy I’m so sorry.”

Being a good Daddy is not just about the sex.

It’s about caring for her. Loving her. Protecting her.

It’s about hugging her and cuddling her.

It’s about holding her tight when she’s sad.

It’s about comforting her when she’s scared.

It’s about making her laugh.

It’s about being there for her when she needs you.

It’s about preparing her favorite foods.