This Widowed Life

This Wolf Moon is keeping me awake with it's silent howling.

It was a better day than it looks here

When I least expect it.

There’s colour Some days Occasional rainbows And coffee Always

Up all night with toothache Sobbing and clutching the bedclothes Nothing would touch it Rabbie was right Glad I’m right here, right now Glad of that young Ulsterman Who fixed it

Last of the summer visitors. Gone. Think the well is refilled for now

Standing at the sink Drinking coffee Trying to find music But it all makes me sad Before, during, after It makes - No difference The memories are hard Whether he was there or not Is this the day The music died?

Summer Busy People come People go Come and go. They're gone right now But will come soon Waiting for them

Tired Again Not sleepy though Wearied - yes - that fits

Another day over Firefighting, mostly But nothing burns

Right now. I am conscious that I am smiling I need to remember when that happens I am waiting for the potatoes to bake Sitting in the garden The garden I have made Myself The clouds are white and fluffy It is not cold and the air is soft A bird is chirping on a wire above me I don’t know what kind it is Probably a starling. I should learn birdsong But right now I am smiling

Two years ago I was in the thick of it Blindly practical Practically blind

The tide was so far out I felt like I could walk to America But I waited And it came back in

Been out in the world space this week It was alright Thinking I might go back Another day, maybe

Rainy Saturday afternoon Making a curry Listening to The Eagles Glenn tells me to lighten up Another who only got to 67. I’m not even trying to understand

New glasses Wonder if they’ll change my views Different perspective Clearer, perhaps. We'll see...