♡madysen grace♡

I just wanna be loved

I’ve convinced myself that I don’t want you and I can not have you. For myself. , I’ll keep telling myself that I don’t want you because it feels easier than saying I do but I’m the only one.

I miss that taste of cigarettes on your lips

I spent 22 years at the hand of my abuser. The woman who birthed me , who carried me around for 9 whole months. Her whole life changed when she had me. Of course , you know. If she brought me into this world she could take me out of it. So why is it if she wanted to take me out of it so badly she didn’t ? Why have me ? Why not let me go ? But instead for 22 years she manipulated ,belittled , sexualized, and cared for me of course (when people were around and a show was to be put on ). Did 22 years she told me I owed her my life for giving me mine. Yet I didn’t want it. I didn’t want the life she gave me or life at all for that matter. I wanted to be free in anyway that meant.