Healing

Alda Merini, tr. by Susan Stewart, from Love Lessons: Selected Poems of Alda Merini; “The cry of death”

The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.

First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it “makes the unseen seen.”

Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. They’re described as having paper-white skin and the Other Mother’s hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails don’t ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know she’ll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.

Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesn’t just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a child’s drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me she’s much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coraline’s life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.

On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my mother’s) lifetime unlocked.

A decade later, at the Opening Night of the Coraline musical, I was sitting next to Morgan, Merilee’s youngest daughter, and told her how her not being scared had made the book happen. And she said “I was terrified. But I needed to find out what happened next. So nobody knew.”

“you’re my whole life and all my heart.” 🎞

i remember watching the korean drama “goblin” for the very first time and being in disbelief that it actually made me cry. (i laugh at the memory, now). i was so invested in it and awaited every new episode. i listened to the soundtrack and loved every song. i fell in love with every character, every laugh it gave me and every bittersweet scene. it will always be my favorite drama and this is now a favorite spread of mine.🤍

hey guys! these past few days i’ve been super anxious and feeling just overall, bad?! so here i am sharing some tips to bounce back when life comes at you!

turn off your phone or tv: after binging netflix or youtube for hours, you’re going to feel worse. so just shut them off to do something that’s actually worth your time.

freshen up: did you drink enough water? have you taken the proper steps of your skincare routine? did you take a shower? if no, go do those things!

just do something ya love to do: doing the things you enjoy brings you back into the present and helps you focus on the now, not something that happened in the past or something that may or may not happen in the future. reading, making art, and creative writing are a few examples!

put on a good ol face mask: it’s super relaxing and you’re benefiting your skin! trust me, it makes you feel ten times better!

journal: writing your thoughts down in a notebook makes yourself aware of your current state! and hopefully by spilling your feelings all over the page, you’ll feel a little bit better because they’re not jumbled up in your head as much. you don’t need a fancy notebook, you can even write on a random piece of paper!

review your goals: whatever they are, remind yourself of what you’re doing and why! and if you don’t have them written down, write them down!

take the first step: write down your to do list when you feel overwhelmed by all the work that needs to be completed. it’s a basic thing to do, but really, dump it all out of your cluttered mind! prioritize what’s most important! break everything down into tiny steps so that everything seems less daunting! and then do that first thing!

accept that you feel this way: i know it’s easier said than done, but something important to remember is that everything is temporary. you’re not always going to feel horrible. but you’re not always going to feel amazing. so don’t set yourself unrealistic expectations and beat yourself up when you don’t meet them! when something specific has happened, i like to ask myself “is this really going to matter when you’re 80 years old?”. most of the time the answer is no and you might realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem.