Certifiable Simp

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

life could be so much easier if i could oscillate between a pussy and a dick at will but im sure many people feel this way

White Boy Summer

MILD hurt/comfort? nuh uh. torture him. sepsis. swept downstream in a frozen river. 6 month convalescence. commit to it.

booboos on his body AND his soul AND his dignity

humble that man. he should have to be nursed back to health my his romantic interested and accidentally throw up and pass out on them when they try to clean his wounds

he has the sniffles? aww. now have him be thrown from his horse and dragged for half a mile.

march 4th? unto where?

normalize showing up to a date still wet from the creek

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead