I got this joke instantly, whore.

Reblog and share if you understood the joke and OP is a whore of babylon

the lamb did not come out of the pan very well. features have been lost. frosting may be needed to rescue the lamb.

quitting my job to focus on getting sluttier

me after intense daydreaming: i saw things.. i imagined.

You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy

As soon as I read this I immediately started thinking of ways to do this on purpose to get cheap land and I was five posts down my dash before I realised I was becoming Scooby Doo villain

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

I want both a cat and $1700

She teaching him how to pronounce Naruto correctly

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

#marie kondo your marriage

oh you like history? name everything that ever happened

me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet