Things That Must Have Happened

SO when I was in cosmetology school i was in the breakroom and I was telling everyone back there about how my client had just told me about how her dead husband’s head was found at the airport along with 63 other human heads (that’s a story for another day) and everyone started swapping stories about weird things that their client had told them

and then this one girl pipes up and is like “Yeah my client told me about how she killed her husband once.” and we were like EXCUSE ME??? WHAT? and she was like “yeah apparently her husband was coming at her with a knife and she managed to get it away from him and stabbed him like three times” 

So I get this client, she’s an older lady so it was a color retouch and a trim and I was like okay I do this all the time this is gonna be just a super routine and mundane day. So I’m chatting with her just like usual small talk stuff like asking how her day is going and stuff and at some point she says: “I’m actually going to be in the newspaper tomorrow so I needed to get this done so I look good when they take my picture.”

So I’m like “Oh that’s nice! I hope you have fun!” and she goes “It’s not going to be fun, it’s because of a court case. I’m seeking legal action against a funeral home because they stole my husband’s body.” She’s saying this is the most casual tone ever and let me tell you, when someone you don’t know drops information like that on you, it’s the weirdest situation ever

I have NO idea how I’m supposed to react properly to that so I’m just saying “Oh no that’s so terrible!” and she keeps on going 

“Yeah his head was found at an airport with 63 other human heads. they removed some of his body parts before they cremated him and sold them illegally. They were using his head at a dental convention in some other country.”