Rebecca Lindenberg | Interview in The Believer |Â March 27 2012Â
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Rebecca Lindenberg | Interview in The Believer |Â March 27 2012Â

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Writing
Some people write to be heard Some people write to join in Some write to sound smart There are millions of reasons For a person to write But Iâll tell you my friends That the reason I write Is so the voice in my head Wonât tear me apart.
Sheâs got eyes the same color as the ocean we swam in and Iâve never been afraid of drowning until now.
When...
âŚI wish itâs for a tight pink dress and ash colored lips.
âŚI smile itâs because of auburn hair and crescent dimples.
âŚI listen itâs to whispered confessions and gentle sighs.
âŚI think itâs of velvet hands and oceanic eyes.
âŚI dream, I dream of you.
Canvas
Iâve built worlds upon empty pages. Iâve created life and love and Iâve torn it apart and watched as the destruction reigned. There are places that I built from memory and others that have come from corner of my own mind.
A slab of raw material sculpted not with a chisel but with a metapor. People immortalized not by brush strokes but instead by similies. Emotions evoked not through a steady rhythm but through immersive imagery.
We are all artists working with unique tools; we expose our inner self. We share our joys and our sorrow, our hopes and our fears.
Anything can be a canvas.
So make me yours.
Call your name in my ears and paint your life on my skin. Tell me all your joys and show me all the sorrows. Allow me to imagine your hopes and salve your fears.
Let your voice, your eyes, and your hands be the tools. Anything can be a canvas. Let me be yours.

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Punk rockers
{{ Alright so this is really bad but I finished it in about 20 minutes with absolutely no plan beforehand. I honestly wrote it when I saw the username punktrolls which I'll admit I don't follow but might now :) I don't know why I felt compelled to write something but thats the point of this blog - not to be good, just to be. }}
The tunnel walls were built using thick red brick but it had been so long in disrepair that the bricks that weren't missing were all chipped or pitted, the cement on the floor was not in much better shape. The only truly solid piece of work was the long sheets of metal that had been laid down on top of the cement and traveled as far into the tunnel as Jack was able to see, these plates were only installed a few years ago but even they had edges that had begun to crumble with rust. Jackâs thick leather boots sent out a sharp ring with each step and the echo returned several times over. It was a little unnerving hearing each step as if it was a dozen but it did overpower the natural sounds of water dripping and things creaking.
 The metal path took a sudden turn and she was so absorbed in her thoughts that she almost stepped off the trail, she caught herself with a yelp. Below the edge of the metal was a thick, black sludge that looked heinous and smelled worse, it was the remainder of contents of the once active sewer system and just the idea of what be in that muck was enough to set her skin on edge. âEven boots aren't enough to protect my feet from that shit. Maybe literally.â She had spoken softly but the tunnel was so empty that it still bounced around her â it was almost comforting to hear her own voice a midst the other noises. With an upturned noise she brushed her skirt free of imaginary dirt and continued to follow the path into the darkness.
 It wasnât long before she started to feel the vibrations through the walkway beneath her feet and soon after that she became aware of the soft orange glow growing at the end of her current tunnel branch. The excitement got the best of her and she found herself running forward. âFinally!â The sound of music had started to swell around her. She couldn't hear the words, or recognize the tune but she didn't have to. Just hearing the bass as it shook all around her was enough to keep her moving forward at a reckless speed. Jack was so distracted by the crowd when she reached it that she didn't notice that the metal path ended with a step; it was slight but not slight enough to prevent her from tripping. Her boots scuffed the cement and she tumbled through the people lingering at the back of the crowd, landing hard on her stomach and hands.
 Pointed purple ears twitched in the darkness as thin lips peeled apart to reveal jagged teeth. Little hands scratched and clapped in excitement. He had waited so long for this chance, waited so long to get this close to the humans that he felt as if he was in a dream. The rusted metal slats of the drain obscured any precise details but that was fine with him.
 It caught him off guard when there was a loud bang and a face suddenly appeared on the other side of his grate. He held his tongue, if barely, and backed up a few steps into the darkness. He needed to stay hidden. From where he stood he could not see anything more than just a silhouette surrounded by the dim yellow lights that the humans had hastily strung up for themselves.
 Shale keep perfectly still while the human lifted themselves off the ground and disappeared back into the faceless crowd. Afraid that someone else might fall and see him he set off through the series of pathways built behind the brickwork of the sewer system and found a new place to watch from. This one was higher up, a bit more open, a little closer to the end of the tunnel they were all piled into.
 From here he could hear better and the view was actually a bit better because he could see the small square of wooden planks arranged past the crowd. The humans who ran back and forth carried wire and the occasional instrument and he found himself filling with an excitement he didn't know he could feel. A new song began to boom forth from the large speakers and although there were no lyrics he recognized the beat and started to stop a pair of large scaly feet against the ground. He didn't feel the brick starting to crumble beneath his toes.
 After she recovered from her spill and found a place to get beer Jack moved out of the swarming mass of bodies. She was excited to be here but had little interest being stuck between two bodies coated in sweat and dripping a cocktail of drugs that were always at events like this. Her pursuit of a place to breathe lead her off to the side of the cavern where a large wooden scaffold had started to fall into disrepair. With a little effort she climbed a few feet into the air and found herself able to see the entire expanse of the stage. âJust in time.â A group of men started to move into position behind the microphones and a woman sank into a small stool behind a drum set.
 Shale could see the band had moved into place, could hear the first few cords of a song ring out into the crowd and he bundled his thick fingers into the fabric of his shirt. Right as the crowd began to scream in joy he crashed through a hole that had opened in the brick beneath him.
 Jack had stood up to cheer when there was a loud crash and a cloud of debris filled the air around her. She could see the newly opened hole in the wall, smell the must of decades old dust being released, and she could hear a strange guttural coughing sound. An icy feeling gripped her heart as from the center of the fallen bricks rose a small creature. The creature had a dark purple skin that seemed to be covered in large, hard warts with pointed ears and thick fingers. A scream started to rise in her throat.
 Shale coughed as much of the dust out of his lungs as possible before raising his hands to brush the rubble from his shirt, it was then that he noticed there was someone staring at him. A human. Right there. His stomach became a knot and he tried to back out of the area only to bump into the wall. He was stuck. The nerves in his body became to scream so Shale lowered himself, pulled his knees in close and rolled into a ball. Nothing could get to him while he was like this.
 Jack couldn't seem to force out the scream that was filling her body, what was this thing. A creature had just broken through a wall right next to her and started to âback away?â The thought made her stop and stare at the thing in front of her. Whatever it was had started to curl into some kind of ball. âIs he afraid of me?â She whispered very quietly to herself. She was trying to decide what to do when she noticed something on the creatureâs back, a symbol that looked oddly familiar. With very slow steps she started to approach the now rolled up creature. âIs thatâŚThe Ramones?â
 Shale heard the human approaching closer and tucked himself in tighter. When she exclaimed the word Ramones it made his ears twitch. Did she mean his shirt? With a great sense of caution the little troll began to unwind, in doing so he unveiled the front of his shirt, and showed the human the circle on his shirt. âR.A.M.O.N.E.Sâ The voice was a kin to the sound of gravel scratching on a road but it was clear enough.
 Jack couldn't help but smile as the creature revealed the Ramones t-shirt he was wearing. âIs he here for the concert than?â The thing in front of her was so short that she had to kneel on the ground to be eye level with it. Whatever it was, it was definitely wearing a shirt that she had her own version of at home. His voice was painful in her ears but she understand what he had said. âYes. Ramones.â She shuffled a little closer. âPunk rock?â Jack extended her hand forward like a handshake.
 Shale spread his jagged little teeth in a smile. âPunk.â He flinched when the human put her hand forward but she made no move to attack. He carefully touched the skin, it was so squishy that he was surprised that it had any structure. The person giggled and Shale couldn't help but feel that perhaps he had been a bit foolish to fear the human at all.
 It wasn't easy and it wasn't quick but somehow the two came to an agreement. They remained together for the duration of the sewer tunnel concert, enjoying good music and each otherâs company.
Asariel
Asariel stood at the top of the hill and surveyed the scene below. The stench in the air was a mixture of sweat, sulfur, and blood but it was hard to care when he could see the insides of his friends strewn about the field. War was nothing new to the angel but this was different. This was genocide.
Black clouds continued to spill a cocktail of blood and ash upon him that colored his skin grey and plastered the now red locks of hair to his head. âIâm sorry.â His voice seemed hollow even to himself and it was quickly swept away in the winds of the storm. When he began to walk through the carnage he expected the crunch of burnt grass but every step brought forth a squelch as if he was walking through a swamp. âIf youâre listening to us still. Iâm sorry. I failed here today.â
He was truly the only one left. Angels were rent limb from limb by claws and the demons were sliced and burnt by swords filled with holy fire; the humans were the worst, some had merely take a blade to the heart or a pair of claws to the throat but some had chunks of flesh torn from their neck which left the loose skin swaying back and forth across a hole filled with frayed muscle and splintered bone. These fragile creatures had decided to pick up weapons in His name and fight a scourge that they could not hope to contain let alone stop.
Asariel knelt down and was running his fingers across the bubbled remains of a humanâs orbital socket when he felt the sudden drop in temperature. The air seemed to shimmer and the temperature fluctuated into a massive heat spike, the displaced air rattled the golden armor affixed to his chest. He lifted his head and tried to keep his expression stoic.
She stepped through the rift and found her feet sinking into the ground below her. Her shirt and her jeans were thin enough that she could already feel the rain through the fabric that had started to stick to her skin. Her stomach turned as the fresh air from her trip was replaced by the thick smell of sweat and sulfur and something else, it filled her nose and made her hair stand on end. Slowly she opened her eyes and was relieved to see Asariel standing in front of her. He was dressed in a rusty golden chest piece and had golden armored pants on; his wings attracted her gaze as they spread out to their full, and very impressive, span. âAsariel! Are you okay?â She took another step forward and felt her foot sink into the boggy ground again. âI heard there was a battle, is that why your wings are out?â She took another step forward but this time her toe snagged on something and she spilled out on the ground.
This time when she tried to react there was no sound. Her hair stood on edge and goose bumps covered her skin, her mouth hung open with a scream caught between her lips. Beneath her was a pile of bodies, some whole, some in pieces, all of them cold, and all of them floated in a pool of blood. The smell intensified inside her nose and as she moved to stand as quickly as she had fallen, the vomit had risen into her mouth and the minute she rose it was expelled onto the mess below her. By the time she recovered from the next round of vomit tears had started to fall down her cheeks, pushing through the dirt and ash on her face and filling her mouth with the taste of salt and copper. The world was swaying violently beneath her.
âIs this your first time seeing a dead body Gemma?â The voice echoed from a distant place and she only knew it was Asariel because he was using stiff fingers to lift her eyes to meet his. The green eyes that she had come to know so well in the last few weeks held no comfort or warmth this time, they were distant, pained, and had a light deep within that she would come to realize scared her to the core. âYou need to get used to it. This is what life will be like now. We lost here. We lost the war.â His voice was clinical but sharp. His grief showed but for instant.
Now that she was facing the sky she finally noticed that the rain was blood. It was too much and she sank to her knees. Her body started to feel heavy and the tears dried on her face. âAsariel. What is this?â
The voice trembled at first but became steady as she began to watch everything from a distance.
âThis is the coming of the Original Sin. This is the battle you were groomed to fight.â The angel struck an impressive figure as an unmarked statue among such vivid destruction and carnage.
Her eyes began to feel heavy and she moved slowly, her voice seemed thick and it got hard to form her thoughts. âWait. Original SinâŚyou mean?â Those two words bounced relentlessly inside her head and the world began to grow dark. âWhat does that mean for us?â Darkness closed in completely and she felt her body falling through the air.
 âWhat does it mean Gemma?â She heard Asariel say one that thing before she submitted in totality.
âThe whole world ended, Gem, and-â He watched her slump unconscious to the ground and looked up to the sky. âWhere were you.â
Zodiac Sample
The amber liquid splashed out of the glass and onto the table which brought forth a round of cheers from the couple sitting on the couch. A head of vibrant red hair was nestled into the fabric of a pair of dark blue jeans but the laughing dislodged her and she fell onto the cushions â followed by the woman whose lap she was rested on. The two lay entangled with each other while they continued to laugh. Their laughter was soon interrupted by a playful voice. âCome on P, you know the rules, answer the question or take the shot.â The voice came from a brunette woman sitting on the edge of the table. She was shaking a bottle of whiskey and smiling but the message was clear, make a choice or have it made.
âOkay, okay, just relax T. What was the question again?â A blonde man with a loose smile and red cheeks looked up to the brunette. His voice was timid but his shoulders were squared, he was determined not to back down this time. The clink of a bottle made him look towards the shot glass once more â the liquid inside was taunting him. âLord knows what Iâll do if I have to take another shotâ.
âWhat is your favorite type of sex?â Thin lips split to reveal a row of straight white teeth. She knew that it was an innocuous question but one that would make the boy pause. She was right. The blonde seated across from her attempted to bury his face into a pair of hands but she saw the color of his cheeks deepen first. Her smile faded as fast as it appeared, she was stoic but the light in her pale blue eyes was unmistakable.
The blonde looked over to the red heads still laid out on the couch and was mortified to see that they had stopped laughing and were paying the utmost attention to him; a matching set of red hair and green eyes focused on him. âStop staring you two!â This outburst was met with a chorus of giggles and a set of tongues stuck between full lips. He attempted to turn his head away but found his chin caught in a strong grip. âHer hands are much softer than I would have guessedâ.
âStop worrying about Mrs. And Mrs. G over there and answer my question. If you have to take this shot youâre gonna end up like Cap over there. Plays it cool and tough but four shots in and heâs sleeping on the floor.â She pressed into the soft skin beneath his chin and lifted his face. The color in his cheeks was not getting any lighter. âItâs probably something boring eh?â She gave a short laugh and let go of Pâs chin. âSlow and sensual missionary?â
Pisces tried to answer but found the words stuck in his throat, this was too much. âActually, I...Iâ His voice trembled and he pulled away from Taurus so that he was sinking into the couch. âI donât normally think about sex let alone have it very often.â As soon as the words left his lips Pisces hid his face once more this time he also pulled his knees up to his chest. He was smiling but he knew everyone was staring at him. He could hear the Geminiâs gasp together but Taurus hadnât responded. He pulled himself into a tighter ball and sighed. This was too much. Too much.
Taurus was caught off guard by the sudden revelation but she attempted to keep her cool. It was kind of cute. She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by a muffled voice on the couch. A few soft words reached her but she could not understand what was said. She turned to the girls and gave them a very stern look, one that stopped their chatter instantly.
Now that the room was completely silent the brunette lowered herself onto the floor and leaned into the blondeâs legs. âWhat did you say P?â
Pisces had known Taurus a long time and he knew she was being genuine and he also knew that she was the reason the girls werenât giggling anymore but it was still with a great amount of hesitation that he attempted to lower his legs. As he was moving them off the couch he became intensely aware of him close the brunette had gotten to him and when he realized that he was going to have to place his legs on either side of her a large knot settled into his gut. âI...â He could feel the heat spreading from his face into the rest of his body. âI saidâŚâ With each word his voice grew softer and his thoughts became harder to organize. âHas she always had eyes that blue?â The smell of jasmine filled his nose and any chance he had to finish his sentence was gone.
Taurus felt his legs slide to either side of her body and nestle into her hips. She became aware of the heat of his body shortly after that and despite her better nature found herself blushing. âGo on. Tell me.â Taurus had almost forgotten that there was anyone else in the room and it caused her voice to come out soft, inviting, and with a dose of longing. âWhat am I doing?â The thought bounced inside her head incessantly. âThis is Pisces. A nerd. A ball of nerves and uncertaintyâ.
âJust do it.â His heart began to beat faster. His hands began to shake. âJust do it.â
Taurus couldnât find any words to say. âYouâre acting like him. Compose yourself!â
Pisces pushed forward without taking time to think and grabbed the shot of whiskey off the table, he pressed the glass to his lips and let the burning liquid splash down his throat.
When he leaned forward his neck passed her face and the smell of fresh spice and cinnamon flooded her nose. âSince when does he wear cologne? Has he always?â
âDonât wait. Donât lose the nerve.â Pisces leaned only inches backwards so that his mouth was sitting right next to her ear. Her face looked as red as his felt and it struck him that he had never seen Taurus so out of shape. âI like it rough. Really. Really. Rough.â He was surprised by how husky his voice had become. He wanted her.Â
A shiver passed through her body as the words sank in âNo way! No way heâs into rough sex. Not Pisces.â Something new was being pressed against her exposed hips and it brought a wild grin to her lips, a grin made only larger when she felt a pair of warm lips pressed against the skin of her neck.
The Geminiâs watched the scene unfold with mischievous smiles and a spreading of warmth between them. It was clear the night was over now. It was over when Taurus poured that shot. It was over when Pisces answered the question. It was definitely over when Pisces wrapped his belt around Taurusâ body and sealed his mouth on her neck.
Liza rose slowly and stretched the knots from her body. The floor was unkind but it was secure and these days that was the best they could hope for. There was a figure a few feet away and although she knew that it was Jack her heart still missed a beat.
Her fingers touched the pistol on her belt because the bite of cold metal and rough grip calmed her. The shadow on the window ledge had not moved and the brief moment of fear was replaced with anger. "Jack!" There was no reason to hide the contempt in her voice. A sleeping guard meant death.
Jack slowly turned his head to face the source of noise. "Liza, what's wrong?" His voice was low and very heavy, his eyes half shut.
"What's wrong?" Liza released the grip on her gun and moved towards him, allowing the moonlight to better reveal his features. His brown hair was ragged and unkempt, his eyes barely open and below them were deep purple bags. "You fell asleep on watch. You know how dangerous that is."
Now that she was standing next to him she realised that he had not been sleeping. The tension in his body was obvious, his shoulders were rigid and the muscle in his jaw cast a thick shadow on his mouth. His fingers were curled so tightly around his weapon that the knuckles were white. "Jack. I'm sorry. I know you're tired so just go to sleep. I'll take the watch."
Jack's mouth stretched into a lopsided smile. "Oh Liza. You're sweet." He shifted his eyes back into the urban landscape sprawled outside the window. "I'm always tired. Just.." The voice was no longer slow, it was sharp. "Never enough to sleep." He allowed his eyes to close for a moment.
There was a thump against the wood as Liza leaned into the window frame but Jack didn't look. All he could see was a head of jet black hair, a pair of sapphire eyes, and a growing puddle of blood.
Medusa
The stone floor emanated a cold that froze her skin and was so rough that it drew blood from her palms. The air was stale and her eyes had long since dried out. None of that mattered to Medusa. Her body was numb and her mind was blank. Time was a concept that had ceased to exist. She didnât attempt to move, she didnât want to, nor did she attempt to understand what had happened. She merely laid still and hoped that all would end.
Medusa remained on the ground until her limbs began to ache and her head began to throb. Images flashed incessantly in her mind and her fingers scrapped against the ground, a scream silently stretched across her face. When the last vestige of joy began to wither inside her soul a sudden flash of light enveloped her body, a warmth seeped into her muscles, and the pain moved slowly out of her limbs. A calloused hand rested upon her chin and she flinched; there was no rush in the movement of the hand as fingers slowly brushed upon either side of her face.
âYoung one.â The voice filled the chamber and managed to drown out the voices that cried in her mind, causing Medusa to lift her head. The sight before her was of a warrior clad in a dress of the most vibrant purple silk. Beyond the glowing white eyes and golden hair the head of a spear could be seen between a pair of wings spread to enclose them both. A large shield rested on the ground beside her, adorned with the image of a smiling woman whose hair was a tangle of snakes. This winged beauty was clearly a denizen of Olympus.
âA woman clad in silk and equipped with a spear. A maiden whose hands while calloused are gentle and whose voice is strict yet melodic. Athena.â
Fear replaced the comfort as suddenly as the comfort replaced the disgust before it. It was in Athenaâs temple that she had, and therefore the temple also, been defiled. A goddess sent to punish the desecration of her alter.
âI may be graced with a swift death yet.â
Athena smiled softly at the woman on the ground and her eyes became that of a human, a human filled with sorrow and sympathy, and she once more spoke to Medusa. âBe calm my child. I know of the crime you have suffered and I know of the fear you feel but I promise you that I am not here to punish. I cannot undo that which was perpetrated by my brother but I can prevent it from ever occurring again.â Athena leaned in closed to the wounded woman on the ground and once more Medusa was filled with an undeniable sense of trust and companionship. The goddess placed a soft kiss on her forehead and the wounds upon her body began to heal. The blood returned to her flesh and a peace descended upon her mind.
âYour beauty was a blessing that you should not have needed to fear however the world is ruled by those who would abuse and steal from women without hesitation. With this in mind I present you the gift of my protection; you shall retain your famous beauty but any man that dares to look upon you shall be cursed to spend eternity frozen in that gaze.â
Medusa felt a small smile begin to form on her lips but her eyes left Athenaâs and returned to her shield, the image that had once covered the front of the shield was no longer there. âAthena, have I become the woman who was once upon your shield?â
The goddess released Medusaâs chin and stood to her full height. âYes. Your hair shall become strands of serpents that will offer you my guidance. Their voices will soon fill your ears and promise your safety. Keep in mind Medusa, this curse is for all men be they god or mortal.â
There were no words that Medusa could find to express her gratitude for the goddess and her understanding but she had a sense that Athena knew. She watched her guardian stride away into the light and watched the heavens seal behind her, replaced with the stone ceiling. Her eyes were once more dry and Medusa could stand with ease therefore she strode out of the temple with her head held high. She had plenty of healing left to do but she knew that due to Athenaâs gift she would now have the time to heal without fear.
[Inspired by this lovely piece of art.]

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