the Young Bruja

They say having a baby changes your life but it really gave me purpose.

  Once upon a time, way back when the Young Bruja was about 19/20, the first attack of painful and debilitating inflammation occurred. I cried all night, unable to lift my arm or get any sleep because of the incredible pain I felt deep within my shoulder. No amount of stretching or massaging could help because it wasn’t in my muscle, it felt so much deeper that that. I truly and bluely wanted to rip my arm right off at the shoulder so it would stop. Several hours later, when the walk-in centers opened I was told I had something called Bursitis and given a shot in my butt cheek (of what I believe was a cortisone shot, or something similar that helps with the inflammation). After a full night of agony, I felt relief in about 30 minutes. This didn’t happen again for an entire year. Hallelujah. 

 Except the next time, it struck at night once more, and as I repeated the same steps as the previous time, I was told some very, very bad news in that medical room. I was about 5/6 months pregnant at the time and not only could I not have the shot that had “cured” me the last time, I couldn’t take anything for the pain besides Tylenol. The nurse rubbed my good shoulder for a minute while I sobbed briefly and waddled out with an arm sling and an ice pack. 

 That’s when I started doing some research on how to fight inflammation, seeing as how I no longer had the power of modern medicine at my side. I’ve learned that ginger is a strong agent for fighting inflammation and I’ll admit my fault in keeping up with my ginger tea when I’m not feeling any symptoms in my shoulder (or hip, since now we can add that one to the list). I drink a shit ton when I start to feel the tightness, or when it’s already too late and I’m all jacked up. Since then, my bursitis has started to act up way more often (like 3 times in the past month, 2 days requiring me to call off from work because what good is a warehouse worker that cannot walk or move her arm? The other time I was already off so that was a wonderful way to spend my day off). This is PROBABLY related to my job (it’s 1000% related to my job, let’s be honest) because Bursitis is caused by over exertion, repetitive motions, etc that cause the bursa (the sacs of fluid that surround our joints and help them move) to become inflamed and painful. I work 10 hour shifts lifting boxes and doing repetitive arm movements every one of those days! 

So yeah, NOT helping my case! Besides lots of ice, Tylenol, ginger, and also looking for a new job that will pay as much as this one does without destroying my body (and resulting in me wasting my hard-earned PTO days at home icing my joints and crying instead of relaxing or being productive) I’m wondering if anyone has any other home remedies to aide in the PREVENTION of inflammation as well as the treatment of it????

Okay. First things first. My hiatus. To give you the Cliff Notes version, exhaustion and lack of inspiration. I’m famous (or infamous) for trying to cram an unreasonable amount of activities into any given time frame. On my days off I already go into them with a list of things to do but for some reason the obsessive overachiever in me will come up with 10 more things to add to my list. These are all things that NEED or SHOULD be done at some point and I try to prioritize but at the end of the day, not EVERY single thing gets done and even when I feel it has been a TRULY productive day, I don’t feel that I have enough time to sit down and write. Let alone write any piece someone else would want to use THEIR time to read, nah mean?

But I’m feelin’ it today guys.

Change doesn’t happen unless you get that ball rolling.

How will I ever have the time to do the things I’m passionate about if I keep living the life I don’t want to but feel forced to?

How will I get to my dream job/s, scheduling, and vacation time if I stay stagnant at some associate position in a job that leaves me physically drained and mentally craving a beer- or 3?

I won’t! I have to make the time!

So, update.

I’m making much more time for my workouts and I’ve found a pretty consistent routine, THANK GOD. For the longest I only went to the gym when it was convenient for the people around me and I mentally was never in the mood. When you go once a week (or even every other week) it almost seems like there’s no point to it.

I put my foot down.

I upgraded my gym membership and began a program that got me with a personal trainer and involved in these strength training and HIIT cardio sessions -insert hallelujah chorus sounds because YAAAAAAS bitch, I love it all*

I’m just going to add that everyone around me has told me this was a dumb idea and basically to keep finding YouTube videos to work from. Which has NOT worked for me!! I’m not knocking youtubers, at all. I’m just saying that I personally need a more personal form of guidance. When I go into the gym without a plan and I just find videos to follow, #1 I feel lost and unsure of what I’m doing and what I’m focusing on that day #2 I’m not getting the most out of my workout if my rest periods involve searching the internet and letting my heart rate drop. #3 I absolutely love my trainer and the fact that someone is there PUSHING me makes me give 110% EVERY TIME. I have never tried so hard in the gym, to be completely honest. We work together to push through the pain and the soreness and he educates me on what my metabolism is doing, what muscles I’m focusing on, how long I should rest, improving my form and why which makes me more inclined to do it better. I’ve always figured my form was probably horrible but It turns out I just need some slight tweaking for certain exercises ( like my squats ) and BAM, I’m doing an exercise CORRECTLY and getting my body used to it. I love my sessions, now. I sweat like crazy and I’m addicted to being sore the next day. Working out on my own and just guessing at what machines I should use, I would rarely feel sore and if I did I didn’t know what to do the next time I was in. I really felt stuck in my gym routine and I didn’t know what to do besides the same exercises I knew about. I love finding new ways to work my muscle groups and ESPECIALLY new ways to Sweat and get my heart rate up. So many girls I know love cardio, they love aerobics, they love going for runs. NOT THIS ONE. I hate the elliptical machine, I hate the treadmill, and I hate jogging. I thrive on sprints and the HIIT style of cardio. This is a style that WORKS for me which means I’m much more inclined to stick to it and actually see results, you guys. 😭

Plus the fact that my trainer is extremely passionate about what he does and it pours out of him in such a vibrant and excited way, it gets ME just as hyped and that’s so much better than feeling like I was forced to be at the gym and wandering around jumping into random sets!! It’s like a “GO TEAM!!!” Attitude versus “okay let’s get this over with.”

It’s only been 2 weeks but I feel so much better and I can’t wait to see a difference in my body. I’ve also been doing more research into issues I’m having with my body, digestion, bloating, etc so incorporating the new things I’ve learned should help as well.

I’ll know what it means to be strong.

I’ll be so confident that when someone I trusted says words that are intended to break me, I won’t even flinch.

I’ll love myself so much that no one will have the power to hurt me- I won’t allow my self love to crumble at their hateful hands.

I’ll pass this on to my son and let him flourish in a world where he doesn’t feel the way I always have.

He will know what it means to be loved, unconditionally.

I don’t know what to do besides keep trying to move in a better direction and as for the bullshit that comes along the way nonstop, well, I’ll eat it like I always do. 

But its taking pieces of me and destroying them. 

At this point, with everything going on in the U.S relating to gun violence and mass shootings, I don't know what to do when the time comes for my son to heads out of the safety of my arms and into a school, which apparently will just be open for anyone to enter and attack when they feel like taking people’s lives because they’ve been called names, or their girlfriend broke up with them, or they FEEL some other fucking stupid FEELING that somehow makes them think they can just TAKE life when they please. Schools are supposed to be safe places where our children learn and socialize with other children and develop crushes and attend dances and join clubs. But they aren't safe. I thought after 5 year olds were massacred at Sandy Hook Elementary, something would stir within the dead hearts of the government that is supposed to keep US safe. But it didn’t. You can still walk into a school with a weapon that can kill so many people at once. And once again, children are dead. High school students who had years ahead of them. Does our government care about them? Do they mourn them? Do they worry about their OWN children being shot in the head, the back, and the hands? Do they care about anything that doesn't smell like dirty stripper-titty money? I mean we obviously can't rely on them to do literally anything besides offer their condolences. They pray and then deny requests to make our gun laws stricter, and to make it harder for another psychopath to get ahold of these firearms they should NEVER possess. The NRA has all of these politicians in a chokehold because they really like those checks they get so they CANNOT ruin those relationships, right? Not for our children. As fucking horrible and sad as these shootings are, they MAKE money for the NRA because the more that fear shakes our households, the more people are going to go buy more guns for "defense." I don't think the answer is in arming every single person on the planet. Shit happens, mistakes can be made, we have the highest rate of accidental gun deaths in the world. We have people who shoot others out of reflex, children who find their parents guns, drunken idiots , racially motivated hate crimes, vengeance, jealousy, anger and hurt feelings...all things that are made worse by putting a gun in every motherfuckers hand that walks into a store. There is No reason any KID should be able to walk out of a store with a military grade weapon and multiple magazines, when the law deems that he isn't even old enough to drink a fucking beer and be responsible. Theres no reason someone with a history of aggression and domestic violence (church shooter) should be handed a gun. If AR-15s had been banned after fucking COLOMBINE, then all shootings after involving that particular weapon would have had a significantly SMALLER chance of happening. Sandy hook. Las vegas. Florida (and the many, many, many others that were in the news for 5 minutes, then forgotten about). Even if those twisted fucks still got hands on a weapon, the damage wouldn't have been as severe. Less people would have been killed if they could only find a pistol or a shotgun or anything besides an automatic rifle INTENDED to let off a ton of ammo quickly. These machines are made for war, why the fuck do we need them now? To make it easy for them? There is no reason for ANY civilian to own an AK or an AR-15 or anything even fucking close. None. Protection? Buy a pistol. You’re shooting an attacker, right? Then WHY do you need a gun that lets you mow down an entire classroom? What the FUCK needs to happen? Listen. All I know is, my generation better be the ones to change the entire fucking attitude of the future. I’m not going to get into the stars on this post because I just want to get this out there already and off my chest because this is infuriating and nobody will listen anyway but THIS generation, us in our 20’s, early 30’s, we NEED to be the change. We are fucking WOKE, right?! We are making strides in the right direction on topics that are important but THIS is life or death. We need a revolution and it will come in my time, I am so sure of it. There are too many people who feel the same way, and we will figure out a way to stop being bullied into submission. We will demand a better world for our children and we will get it, dammit.

So, like most people I know, I have to really stretch my money when it comes to food because those receipts can REALLLLY get out of hand - $15 here, $20 the next day, etc. Etc. It adds TF up. When it comes to food for myself and my son's father I try to buy as much produce as possible to keep things healthy but we still (for now) stock up on cheap, horrible-for-your-insides food like RAMEN and snack packs of chips. Lots of grab-and-go foods for days I don't have time to prepare food for work.

However, this post isn't about our unstable adult diet, but on how I make sure our baby boy is eating just the best of the best so he can FEEL and GROW into tip-top shape.

How I see it: we've already poisoned our bodies with a bunch of junk and abuse over the years, too much Monster and Red Bull, alcohol, smoke, yadayada. But for Kai, what we have is a clean slate to work with. I was at my peak of health during pregnancy. All of my doctors were concerned because I've been diabetic for over 15 years and that can lead to a lot of complications when pregnancy is thrown into the mix but luckily for us we had a perfect baby boy- perfect weight, perfect size, perfect health, perfect smile- and that's how I intend on keeping him. So when it came time to start eating Foods, I have been EL JEFE, trying to make sure that every day he gets a good amount of fruits, vegetables, and protein. I try to avoid foods that are devoid of nutritional value and excess sugar. Now that he's about to be a year old, I'll admit sometimes I let him snack on foods that I yelled at people for trying to give him a couple of months ago... It's just those eyes and that look he gives me when I refuse to share, it kills me. But anyway, back on track, staying focused, Atalie!! 

Some people think it's crazy that i always keep avocados on deck for him because they are considered more of a luxury to have than an essential part of a broke-bitch budget BUT hear me out, the benefits are intense and if I have to put back some snack foods for US so Kai can get those healthy fats then that's whats going to happen, knowwhatimean? It was one of his first foods because of the creamy consistency and he immediately loved it. Just plain and natural, no salt or spices, that's how he started. Now I mix it up for him the same way that I eat them, myself. Some olive oil, little bit of ginger dressing, loaded up with cilantro and tomatoes, whatever we have that doesn't destroy the nutritional value behind it all. So what does aguacate do for babies?? Why is it so important to me that he have them as a part of his regular diet?? 

Well, most people cringe at the word 'fat' automatically avoiding all foods containing fat when they want to eat in a healthier way. However, we all need fats as a crucial part of brain development, to help those building blocks of the brain the same way protein does for muscle. As someone who is so new to this world, developing a functional and highly complex noggin is definitely Top 5 on the list of things to constantly work on. 

Avocados are also known for their anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. So whilethey're aiding his brain in development, they're also cleaning his system and banishing toxins and fighting inflammation which can be brought on by many things (and I should know this, as someone who has suffered countless sleepless nights due to inflammation off the bursa sacs surrounding my shoulders. Something I never want him to endure!). 

Finally, in addition to all of that, avocados carry within them vitamin A, vitamin B6, vitamin K, vitamin C and vitamin E and minerals, including calcium, iron, potassium, sodium and zinc—all in one great superfruit. Is that a kickass tool supplied to us by mother nature, or what? 

I'm just happy he's started on them at such a young age and he has the taste for it now. I didn't try my first avocado until I was maybe around 10 and to me it was just AWFUL. Being Boricua, my grandma would literally get offended by this, lol. We'd be like getting ready to go ham on some chicken and rice and beans and she'd yell from the kitchen, "quieres aguacate con tu arroz??" And just like last time, I'd tell her I didn't like them and she would do that lip-smackingthing followed by like an, "Ayy  (or aii??? I'm not sure how to spell that sound, still to this day), como que no te gusta el aguacate? Con un poquito de sal son rico...esta nena es loca..Deja esa pendeja ja." Eye rolls, the works. Grandma shit, you know. Hey, it just wasn't my cup of tea. But pregnancy changes your tastes for things and along with my newfound love of red peppers, onions, and sweet wine, I now loved -nay, CRAVED- the green deliciousness. So I did research on the benefits behind them and why I should add them into my diet and I was convinced I wanted my son to get started on them when he was ready to start on solids.

But then I think about him growing up and another part of me doesn’t want this stage of clinginess to ever end. My arms will be empty once he doesn’t want to be carried around all day long. I want him to go to school so I don’t have to worry about how we’re going to make enough money with no babysitter and working around each other’s hours because someone always comes up short this way. Yet I know once he starts school and has friends it’s all over, it’ll go quickly and then he’ll be begging to go hang out with his friends instead of cuddling and watching movies his momma. I'll be "lame." ***air quotes and eye rolls*** I want him to be old enough to enjoy activities and adventures and education but I also love how at this stage, everything is exciting to him even if he doesn’t fully grasp the concept of what’s going on. I want nature walks and trips to the aquarium so often he knows every exhibit and can differentiate between species of sharks :') But I love watching his reaction when we play peek-a-boo or splash in the tub and its just INSANE to him, he's like "WHAT IS THIS MADNESS, YES MOMMA, NOISEEEE!" 

#THROWBACK