Peter, not slept in 2 days and on a minecraft binge: no, no Mr. Stark dont turn the lights off or else the mobs will spawn
Tony, standing by the labs light switch: the who
Claire Keane
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@theycallmeinterstellar
Peter, not slept in 2 days and on a minecraft binge: no, no Mr. Stark dont turn the lights off or else the mobs will spawn
Tony, standing by the labs light switch: the who

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Reporter: Rumour has it that you have a secret son, Mr Stark.
Tony: Thatβs completely false.
[Peter is pouting in the back of the room]
Tony: β¦Completely false because heβs not a secret anymore. I do have a son.
Pepper: *Disappointed noises*
Tony: *on the verge of breakdown*
Peter: Listen carefully, Mr.Stark..
Tony: *listens*
Peter: *takes his hand* Life is a journey.
Tony: *waits*
Tony: *waits*
Tony: that was it?
Peter: what do you want from me? im 15, i don't have life advice.
IβM DYING LOL
Peter: about to do something dangerous lol
Tony, 20 miles away, sitting up in a cold sweat:
Headcanons for being Tony Starkβs child
Tony Stark x child!reader
warnings: alcohol ment,
a/n: so i just really think that the concept of tony having the party kid as opposed to nerdy avenger kid would be a really cool idea to explore teehee. most of this does actually take place pre-avengers tho!!
prompt:
you weβre quite the exhausting kid
βis this really how it felt to raise me?β -tony
many of nights heβd find your bed empty, youβd snuck out to go have your fun as teenagers do
βyeah, boss, i imagine it wasβ -happy
you always showed back up in one piece (like him) and besides a little slap on the wrist you didnβt get much discipline
actually, it usually went like:

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Tony being a workaholic:
βAre you okayβ ? Bro my comfort character is Tony stark
Peter has surely been through multiple injuries. Itβs whether the Avengers know it or not. If they donβt, well itβs just one of the major bombs he drops on them and walks off casually.
Like a simple βOh you know a building fell on me before?β Or a βI nearly got killed by a train before!β And cue everyone being shocked and then he walks away or change the subject so easily the avengers didnβt even realise
I can imagine him also always saying βBeen there, done thatβ whenever a villain reveal their βgrandβ scheme but he has already experienced that pain and heβs not amused yet not happy either
Villain planning to get superhumans such as himself and Steve to experiment on and clone them for some army to take over the world.
Peter simply scoffs and everyone looks at him, wondering his reaction. Peter, noticing the looks are looking at them weirdly in return too.
Peter: What?
Tony: Whyβd you scoff
Peter: Is it abnormal to?
Tony, shaking his head: No, itβs like youβre unamused by his scheme
Peter, nodding with a smile tugging onto his lips: Oh yeah. Someone tried that before, mr villain! Youβre not the original! I saw it firsthand!
The villain is disheartened and maybe distraught. The avengers are looking him wide-eyed in terror and Tony immediately pulls the βWeβre discussing that laterβ card and they beat the villainβs ass
Though it doesnβt have to be a bad guyβs scheme all the time.
Clint, having fell from 20 stories and just finished surgery, lying on the medbay bed with a smug smile that shouldnβt be on at the first place: I hold the highest record!
Everyone is either unamused or sighs. Peter on the other hand:
Peter, not knowing what heβs about to say will crush Clintβs soul and adding it innocently: Oh I dropped down 24 floors before! Does that mean I hold the highest record instead?
Tony, eyes and mouth wide in shock and severely concerned, remembering that Peter hates hospitals and he probably didnβt have surgery after that fall: You WHAT?!
Clint, getting up and wanting to go to the nearest window to get the highest record: Someone take this needles off me, I need to jump off right now. Itβs the 40th floor so I will win if I survive
Natasha, holding him down: Friday, lockdown the building and forbid Clint from going out of said building.
Literally

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How that day exactly went:
Partners in crime
*everyone trying to pronounce Thorβs hammer*
Paul Rudd existing: Jonathan?
Day 1 asking Spotify for this version
As he should, ladies and gentlemen

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Tony's life motto
Bucky: so who are you fighting now, Gandalf?
Sam: how do you know about Gandalf?
Bucky on September 21, 1937