I eat transphobes

volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.

so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.

of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.

League of Villains + The Onion headlines

Bonus:

Also, the married women are not paid (and therefore can’t qualify for assistance if they should ever divorce, etc). And worth “of course” less than a man.

“ In the Army’s case, the agreement for compensation is that the officer allowance be paid jointly to the husband—the check is written in his name. Officially, the wife is a “worker without expectation of remuneration,” and her husband receives 40 percent more of an allowance as a married man than he would as a single man. “

This one

Since I defs didn’t want to carve a real pumpkin to put on my head and get nasts pumpkin insides all over my hair I decided to paper mache one. Unfortunately there was no good tutorials anywhere so I will share my trial and error knowledge.

First I got some supplies: 1 Punch balloon (they’re rounder and larger they regular balloons), some paper mache stuff in a bag, cardboard, a glue gun, paint, sculpey clay, tape, some news paper and some water and flour mixed together.

I then put at least three - five paper mache layers of newspaper with flour water on the balloon. I also measured my head and left an opening at the bottom. (NOTE: Don’t put tape on the balloon and try to peel it off after you’re done paper macheing, RIP)

After that’s all dry I put glue gunned some cardboard onto it to give it some pumpkin like ridges.

Then I filled the gaps between the cardboard and the newspaper with the paper mache in a bag stuff. Wait for it to dry. (Note: Don’t pop balloon until the paper mache in a bag stuff is dry cause it holds a LOT of water and your paper mache project will sink, RIP) After that I popped the balloon and lightly dampened the top with a sponge and water until it was wet enough to slowly press down into more of a pumpkin shape.

After it’s all dry I taped a stem I made out of card board on the top and put another layer or two of newspaper mache over top.

More drying wait time (you can use your oven on the lowest setting to make it dry faster) then I sanded it down and cut out a face with an exacto blade.

I added a little bit of backing behind the face on the inside with the paper mache in a bag to give it more of a 3D look which wasn’t that noticeable but oh well, it kidna worked… After all that stuffs done I painted it all white otherwise the newsprint would bleed through and make my colours not as bright, I also added some sculpey clay to the brow area to give it some more emotion in which I used an iron to dry it with cause it was too late to put it in the oven with paint all over it (Note: Put clay on before painting).

I sprayed it with a sealer before painting colours on it cause I find acrylics do weird things sometimes. After it was all dry I begin to paint.

I also painted the inside a red and added a kinda head rest thing on the inside since when I pushed the top down it made an uncomfortable point at the top when putting it on your head. Then once it was all dry I sprayed it with some more sealer, added some cool stuff like stitches with some ribbon and blood which I used nail polish for a shiny effect and put in some lights which weren’t very effective when my head was in the pumpkin but that’s okay, it still looked cool.

And that’s that!