a fic by me for the @carry-on-au-fest (CO AU fest post here)
rating: T
Chapters: 2/6
Words: 3455/~15k
tags: superhero au (but more like ex-superhero AU); Batman AU; but more like life after Batman; Penelope Bunce is a Good Friend; Baz Pitch is Not the Joker; mentions of drinking and depression; non magical AU; despite this it is in fact a getting together meet-cute
based on this comic
Summary: Simonâs in his thirties and suddenly unemployed. His old job had its downsides, but he felt useful, full of purposeâand he didnât have to worry about pesky things like making more than one friend, or minding his personal safety, or even picking out his own clothes (the uniform might have been the best part). Now heâs adrift, and he canât even talk about itârevealing even an ex-Batmanâs secret identity comes with some pretty hefty penalties, after all. But that shouldnât be a problemâwhoâs he gonna tell, anyway?
READ IT NOW! (IF YOU WANT)(HOPEFULLY YOU WANT)
thank you to @monbons and @bookish-bogwitch for the beta read! and thank you to @monbons for my gorgeous banner!
thank you to the mods of this super fun fest! more chapters to come when the fest is over.
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ââŚÂ how can she say that thereâs no such thing as happy endings? Thatâs all Iâve ever been working towards. The happy ending is when things are going to begin for me.â
breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby
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"Mistress Mary, the nursery manager said that one of the beasts attacked Grimm-Pitch from behind, clamping its fangs onto her neck after she nearly decapitated another who was threatening her very own son. 'She was like Fury herself,' Mary said. 'Like something out of a film. The monster bit her, and she choked out a Tyger, tyger, burning bright - then they both went up in flames...'"
Today marks the 24th anniversary of the attack, Baz being Turned and Natasha's death
And! We need cashiers. And convenience stores. And I think it's kind of broken that society says people who want to do stuff like that have "low" ambition (not you OP, I get you're using it illustratively because that's what society labels said jobs) and don't deserve to live at the same standard as people with "high" ambitions.
If we need someone to do a job, that job is a role in the community and deserves not just a salary but cultural respect for the role.
"high" ambition jobs are all jobs that involve domineering and controlling others. "low" ambition jobs are all jobs that involve service to others. Have you noticed? Because I have noticed.
But serving others is actually more needed than controlling them.
thank you for the tags since Sunday @run-for-chamo-miles @prettygoododds (WRITE QUESTIONS!!! please â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸) and @leithillustration. Love hearing from you all any day of the week.
Did you guys see I posted a fic yesterday? If not, check it out! It's very summer-appropriate and I'm thrilled to have gotten it posted while it's still boiling hot here.
And that's not all! I'm still working on my CORB, so below the cut, I have tags and a snippet from the fic I just posted as well as a snippet from CORB. I want that one to be completely written before I publish it, so it'll be a minute, but I hope it will be worth it.
From my CORB, some sad!Baz and some Fiona redemption:
When my mother died, I was five, and I thought magick had died with her. Literally. I was so scared. My father tried to cast a simple spell, something like Lights out, and when it didn't work, he burst into tears and I was convinced that magick had taken my mother and left this world. Left us behind.
Then my aunt Fiona came and put me to bed in the guest room with her, and without me having to say a thing, whispered Twinkle twinkle little star. My mother always said her sister had more power than she knew what to do with and that that's what got her into trouble, but it's also what showed me that magick was still possible, even when it didn't feel like it. She held my hand and we wept together as we watched the stars slowly orbit over our heads.
This fic is going to be very very not sad, in fact this is probably the only sad moment in the entire thing, so don't be misled. Sorry if I make you tear up on Wednesday, but I'll never get over Fiona saving the day while her own heart was breaking. (She arrived in Hampshire with Paddington! Can you imagine her shopping trip to buy that bear? She didn't have that bear before Natasha died!)
And a much-lighter moment from Three Scoops, the gift fic for @monbons that I just posted yesterday:
âHey,â I say. âYou said you had data sets? Iâd love to see them sometime.â
âI canât tell if youâre trying to flirt with me,â Penny says.
âI am both trying to flirt with you and also very interested in your literal data sets.â
happy wednesday! what are you working on? did you see the eclipse where you are?
Thank you for the recent tags @the-beard-of-edward-teach, @ileadacharmedlife, @monbons and @thewholelemon. Your updates feed my soul. They've really helped me the past few weeks. Thank you for letting me share in this space with you.
I missed last week's update, so below the cut are my updates counted from when I last posted, including some photos of my jester collar, and a very special boy (:
Wrote for 15+ mins, 11 out of 16 days
Some days it's like trying to squeeze blood from a stone, but I persist. Having some a few days off to recharge helped. I actually missed fewer days than I thought (thus reminding me once again why it's good for me to write these updates!)
Much progress on jester collar!
Using this pattern from Etsy, I cut out all my pattern pieces, decided to overcomplicate it by making the collar reversible, and it's now partially sewn together (by hand because it felt calming to stitch while listening to an audiobook)
Added a few more panels to my comic strip
Drawing has felt very forced recently, so I'm holding off on doing much to this until I find the joy in it again.
Actively walked in the opposite direction of the passport photobooth in town when my brain said NOOOPE.Â
Bonus Mental Health Update:
(CW Iâm trans andâŚÂ gestures at the world)
I wrote an update last week, but it was so morose I decided not to post it. I've been having A Time with mental health lately. Among other things (UK wildfires in the heat of climate change, AI stealing a friend's art to resell on Temu, nextdoor's builders drilling into our shared wall at 8am, etc etc) being a trans person in the current political environment in the UK is weighing heavily on me. Norwich, my city, has one of the biggest percentages of queer residents outside of London and Brighton (according to the 2021 census). And yet the local council has become infested with UK Reformers who are insisting our police aren't allowed to wear pride bagdes and our city library isn't allowed to label its LGBTQ+ book section or use any pride flags. Our city is more than happy to take in revenue from Norwich Pride, one of the biggest events we host every year that brings thousands of people into the city centre for the weekend event (all volunteer run with no council funding or support), but the council is actively taking away our rights and visibility every other day of the year. It's exhausting. I'm sick of feeling alienated by the city I live in, which up until now I have always felt proud of, safe and loved in. I know compared to a lot of other places, not being allowed to display flags is pretty mild, but I worry for what it will lead to.Â
5th August saw the official start of the UK Spreme Court's advisory ruling that gendered public toilets should be used based on 'biological sex'. It is up to the disgression of individual businesses how they want to navigate this. In some cases it's being treated as a law, rather than advisory (it can't be more than advisory without contradicting basic human rights laws across Europe, AFAIK) and its leading to trans women, trans men, non binary people, AND cis women all feeling unsafe in public loos.Â
Anyway. I wrote a poem a few weeks ago about RSD and the imagery of the chewed up apple core has stayed with me. I'm so tired of my existence being political. I'm tired of being told that I have no place in society without controversy. I am trying desperately to be kind to myself.
If you read this far without skipping, thank you for staying with me, I appreciate it. I beg of you to be an ally where you can, protect trans folks, keep safe, be kind. As a thank you, here is a picture of my birthday boy who turned 12 last week.
No pressure wipsday tags. Share if youâd like to (: Love you all <3
@alexalexinii, @angelsfalling16, @argumentativeantitheticalg, @aristocratic-otter, @artsyunderstudy, @bestâdress, @blackberrysummers, @bookishbroadwayandblind, @cattocavo, @confusedbiqueer, @cutestkilla, @eepybois, @fiend-for-culture, @handmemyglockenspiel-imgoingin, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ileadacharmedlife, @johnwgrey, @jyae23, @katatsumuli, @kidspawn, @larkral, @leofrun, @lovelyladzzzz, @maddyisenough, @monbons, @mooncello, @nausikaaa, @orange-peony, @prettygoododds, @primusofminerva, @raeny-day, @rimeswithpurple, @scribble-tier, @simon-pitch, @smoky-solitude, @that-disabled-princess, @the-beard-of-edward-teach, @theboredbori, @theimpossibledemon, @thewholelemon, @tragediegh, @unhappytogekiss, @youarenevertooold, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @willowjh, @wingedaches
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Three Scoops [M, 5.1k]Â by @thewholelemon /Â TheWholeLemonÂ
Shep leaves university for the summer and walks into his perfect seasonal job, which also happens to be the weirdest first day of work he's ever had.
Snow's Ice Cream is delicious and his new co-worker Simon seems really chill, until this fancy customer walks in and immediately enrages him.
Is Shep ever going to figure out what their backstory is? But more importantly, how's he going to get the chance to flirt with Simon's friend Penny if everyone's distracted by their weird, flirty bickering?
Don't Let Go (please don't let me go) [T, 1/?] by Spicynuggets47
After returning from America, Simon, Baz and Penelope are brought before the Coven to answer for their crimes. Penny is put into the care of her parents, who forbid her from speaking to the boys. Baz and Simon are stricken from the Book of Mages, and Baz has to give up his wand. To make matters worse, Baz is disowned by his father, leaving both him and Simon without a penny to their names. Will they be able to survive the harsh realities of their new world? They have each other -- will that be enough?
One More Minute [T, 1.7k] by Soferet_Autistit - Part 5 of Neurodivergent Moments
What if Baz fell asleep while listening to his "emo shit" during chapter 15 of AWTWB and Simon heard Weird Al Yankovic's most melodramatic breakup song through the door before he could knock?
A summery, sweet lil friend-a-versary Snowbaz gift fic for @monbons
Relationships: Simon/Baz with background Penny/Shep
Rated M
Words: 5057
Summary: Shep leaves university for the summer and walks into his perfect seasonal job, which also happens to be the weirdest first day of work he's ever had.
Snow's Ice Cream is delicious and his new co-worker Simon seems really chill, until this fancy customer walks in and immediately enrages him.
Is Shep ever going to figure out what their backstory is? But more importantly, how's he going to get the chance to flirt with Simon's friend Penny if everyone's distracted by their weird, flirty bickering?
i saw a man at work the other day wearing a shirt that said "i was normal 2 pomeranians ago" with pictures of his pomeranians on it. important to note he had his pomeranians in his cart
Every time someone makes an artist's rendition of a weird little guy they saw in public instead of recording them without consent, an angel gets it's wings.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying Iâm not ashamed to be seen trying!!!
thank you for the tag @monbons! I'm so excited for your dolls and I can't wait to see your countdown!
I just got back from the beach where I got nothing done, but I saw family and that kept me very busy. I have a hot summer goal of getting a fic posted before the end of summer, because it's summer-themed. I can do this! But send me your best ice-cream-cone, sunshine, sand-and-sunscreen summer vibes just in case.
Tags and a snippet below the cut.
I know I havenât known Simon long, but Iâm taken aback by his tone. He stressed to me that we have to be polite to customers, that itâs a Snowâs Ice Cream Tradition---friendly service and all that. And also, like I said, Simon seems like a real surfer dude, very laid back. But right now he sounds like he wants to punch this guy in the face.
âUmâŚwhat can I get you?â I say, floundering, as Simon and Fancy Sunglasses keep staring at each other. My first customer, and Iâm already screwing up!
âRing him up first,â Simon repeats angrily.
âBut why?â I whisper. âYou said ring people up after they get their cone!â
âNot him!â
âItâs fine,â Fancy Sunglasses says to me. âIâll pay.â
He looks at the list for a long time, longer than Iâd expect someone to need to, while Simon huffs impatiently beside me.
âIf you donât mind, my break is coming up,â Simon finally growls.
âI can handle this if you need to take your break,â I offer.
âNo,â they both say in unison, and Simon goes back to glaring.
