The World is Quiet Here

I wish I never started that stupid day count as my title because I gotta keep figuring out how many days it's been and its aggravating.

Anywayyyyyyy! HAYYY GURRRRLS.... HAYYYYY GUYYYSSS. betcha been thinking "hey I wonder what's happening with that nice not-so-pleasantly plump girl that at least posts every Friday."

I missed last week. And no it wasn't to hide my big fat weight gain in shame because I LOST BOTH WEEKS YOU JUDGEMENTAL BITCHES.

Yasssssssssssss gurlllllllll!

Send good vibes this way! Cause I'm sending them yours! 😘

Started- 310lbs

Weigh in day:

This fat chunkamonk gained 2lbs.

That is all.

Send good vibes this way y'all! Cuz I'm sending them yours!

Start: 310lbs

Last weigh in: 289lbs

I did meal prep for the week again today! Y'all... it went sooo smoothly. Can I get a "HELL YASS GURL, YOU DO THE DAMN THING!"

I put seasoned chicken (for chicken parm) as well as ranch pork chops in the oven at 400 for 35 mins. I boiled pasta toward the end. -wine break- Then set oven to 350 to cook the chicken parm (30 mins), and turkey meatloaf (55 mins) . -wine break- Next I set oven to 450 and roasted veggies (25 mins) and chickpeas (30 mins). I baked home fries, made eggs, and cooked bacon. -wine break- Also, put gravy pork chops in the slow cooker for 4 hours. Only thing needed are bagged veggies with dinner and they take less than 6 mins for a bag.

If you want any recipes let me know!! So excited to have everything planned out. Now my kid won't have to eat chicken nuggets three times a week. Kids gonna turn into a nugget I swear! I don't think he'd mind in the slightest though.

The dreaded weigh in day. I'm sure i said this before...I didnt think I did well at all this week.

4am rolls around and my baby wakes me up. When i finally got him back to sleep and lay down... I kept thinking "Today's weigh in. Don't forget". And it literally bugged me so much that I threw my covers off, went into the bathroom, and finally stood on the scale.

YALLLLLLLLLL! I lost 11lbs. YASSSS GURL YASS! *still continuously jumping up and down with my right arm waving in the air like I won the got dayum lottery*

Send those good vibes my way! Cause I'm sending them to you!

March 9th: 299lbs

I haven't weighed myself again yet. I'm dreading it. I wonder if I should do it in the morning or at night. I normally tell myself morning- because I think about it at night. I'm subconsciously, now consciously, putting it off. The only reason I'm worried is because I haven't made the best choices and this is only the first week! It shouldn't possibly be this hard yet... right?

Well it REALLY is difficult. Years ago it was easier to lose the weight. I could say no to junk food. Sure internally I'd be crying and throwing a fit because I actually did want it..but I got through it. Now? Now I literally have to continuously force myself to try to stop thinking about food. Stop wanting food every second I'm at work. I'm fine at home. By the time i get home I'm so tired I don't want to eat. But during work I could eat all day!!

I think I'm going to weigh myself every Friday.

I think I'm addicted to food. Or maybe just the mindless eating. Now that I am trying to keep track of what I am eating I'm seeing 1. How much I eat and 2. How much I think about eating. It's an addiction to eating.

I was just watching Frasier on my break.... do not judge me. This is one of the funniest shows. Please pour yourself a glass of wine when you get home and put on Frasier. Relaxing. Anyway something was said that Frasier was eating to fill a void. Is that what I do? What if that void is just an endless pit of hunger though.... an endless pit of incessant boredom.

Halfway through the day and I'm already 1400 calories eaten. I'm seriously fighting off the beef jerky in my drawer. It's calling my name smoldering and Smokey eyed in all of its delicious advances. Alright... this is getting too much to continue.

Y'all! I actually meal prepped today like I said I would. Why am I so shocked? Oh because I'm perpetually tired running around with 2 boys under 2. 3 boys under 2 if you count my husband...but I digress.

I made fish yesterday for dinner tonight (try to keep up with me here). And some of this weeks food- tonight. The fish was tilapia, and I made some kale, broccoli, kidney bean barley with garlic and olive oil. My son (the one old enough to eat solid food) really loved it.

Monday- sweet and spicy pork chops and mixed veggies

Tuesday- chicken, potatoes, and carrots in herb and white wine sauce

Wednesday- ground turkey spaghetti

I boiled eggs for the week for a quick healthy on the go snack that will be work friendly... if not just a tad bit smelly. I'm also cooking buffalo chicken in the crock pot for my husband to make lunches or whatever he wants with it because I am disgusted by it and don't plan on touching it.

We'll see how tomorrow goes without my daily bunch a crunch fix and snacking while being sucked into the screen of my work computer. Completely lifeless while feeding my forever chewing meatball of a face. My fall back snacks are: halos, string cheese stick, pirates booty, beef jerkey and a hard boiled egg.

Oh by the way... if I'm going to be accountable. I ate like SHIT today. Although... I did try Mahi mahi and really liked it. Along with new england clam chowder and french fries.... And an ice cream from our favorite ice cream stand that finally opened back up...

I believe I will try to do a meal prep tomorrow of all our dinners/lunches. With being back to work I usually DREAD getting up and cooking after I put the boys down. Is it possible to prep wine for the week in some way? ... or do I need those tiny little sample bottles from the liquor store?

Went to taco bell for lunch.... while explaining what fat ass food cravings box I wanted the woman said, "I got it! You're here every day, I know what you want... 2 cool ranch tacos with the nacho fries."

While incredibly funny and yet a tad bit embarrasing...perhaps now would be a good time to start this weight loss journey.

I weigh 310lbs. No lie. 310lbs. How is it possible I weigh... (please wait while I Google 'things that weigh 300lbs') the same as an adult male Giant Panda. I've had two kids within the past two years. Is that why I weigh 310lbs? I'd like to hope so, however i don't know. Would i have continued to eat poorly those two years regardless? Probably.

So I'm ready to do this. And I figured why not post about it! A Tumblr blog will keep me focused and accountable. Yet not as accountable as Facebook, where EVERYONE I know would hold me accountable. This is more of a... relaxed effort. A minor yet very determined accountability. Yes, that's more my speed.