The Wandering Nix

Damian: ......Good morning

Danny: Did you sleep well?

Damian: Yes, my rest was adequate. And yours?

Danny: It was the best sleep I ever had! I've never been on a mattress this nice!

Damian: Of course. It's adjustable, gives massages, and has temperature control. Only the best for the Waynes.

Danny: truly impressive!

Damian: Thank you. Now, may I please inquire on who you are and why you're in my bed?

Danny: My name is Phantom and last night you wished for me so here I am

Damian: I did no such thing.

Danny: Yes you did! I'm your first wish upon a star!

Damian: Are you referencing the childish tradition that Richard forced me to partake in? Even if I did humor him, my wish was to make my father proud.

Danny: Yeah, the wish you said out loud to appease Dick was to make your father proud but your true wish, the one in your heart that you secretly thought of, was to have a friend. And since it's your first ever wish, I am here to make it true.

Damian: Even if that is my true wish, Todd said wishing upon a star does not actually work.

Danny: It does work! But people usually make thier very first wish upon a star when they're very young and often don't remember it, or they make very simple wishes like "I want candy," which is so mundane that they don't realize the magic. And the star only grants the very first wish. You just happened to make it much later in life.

Damian: I see.

Danny: You seem very accepting of this. Most people would be more doubtful.

Damian: I have encountered magic many times. I know there is no reason to doubt.

Danny: Oh cool. I'm glad we're skipping the part where I have to convince you this is real. It's a real time saver.

Damian: Indeed. What happens now?

Danny: Well, I'm assign as your lifetime friend. I'll be here until you die and I get my new assignment. Until then I'll live as a normal human boy.

Damian: Will I be dying soon?

Danny: Not that I'm aware of. I belive you are meant to die of old age.

Damian: I see. Very well, Phantom, I look forward to our friendship

Danny: Me too!

Dick kicking open the door: DAMIAN WHY IS THERE A BOY IN YOUR BED!

Danny: I'm-

Damian choosing violence and grabbing Danny's hand: Richard, I love him.

Danny: What-

Dick: No! You're too young! You're only sixteen! *to Danny* I'LL KILL YOU

Danny: Wait-

Damian: You should run, My Love. I am the beloved youngest son of a very dangerous family. One that is most displeased at my deflowering.

Dick foaming at the mouth: DEFLOWERING?!

Danny: No! That isn't- why are you doing this to me, Damian?!

Damian in the latest voice ever: I do not like sharing my bed space without permission. Run, My Love, rune as fast as your normal human legs can take you. My family will start the hunt for your head now that Richard sent out the message.

Danny: This is going to be a very long human lifespan.

Damian: Drake has unleashed the drones. You have two minutes to escape.

Dick: HE HAS TEN SECONDS. TO. LIVE.

Dpxdc

Think of an AU where Danny decides to become one of Gotham’s friendly rogues, preferably with him being Red Robin’s soulmate. I’ve read a few stories like that and loved them, and this idea just popped into my head.

The scenario goes like this: Danny is a huge fanboy of a band that starts a contest to decide where their next concert will take place. Danny decides to guarantee the win by kidnapping a hundred or more fellow fans and forcing them to make a dance video while appearing to be in situations of mortal danger.

At least, that’s how it looks from the outside.

In reality, all the “traps” are just decorations. The hostages know from the beginning that they’re completely safe, and they spend the entire month of their “imprisonment” learning choreography and filming takes until everything is perfect.

Meanwhile, the entire Batfamily is imploding.

Phantom had always been one of the gentlest and kindest rogues in Gotham. Sure, he was mischievous, theatrical, and maybe a little too interested in Red Robin—but no one ever thought he was capable of something like this. Or even capable of planning a scheme on this scale.

Even after the truth comes out—after it’s revealed that none of the hostages were ever in real danger—the Batfamily can’t see him the same way again. The sheer scope, planning, and emotional manipulation convince them that Phantom is far more disturbed than they realized.

In the end, they reclassify him as a high-level threat, placing him on the same tier as the Joker—much to Danny’s confusion and Tim’s quiet horror.

—————————-

Opening Scene: “The Phantom Situation”

The first hostage video drops at 3:17 a.m.

Red Robin is the one who catches it—because of course he is. Gotham never implodes on a decent schedule.

The footage opens on a warehouse drenched in neon lights and fog machines. At least fifty people are lined up behind a masked figure, wrists bound, suspended over what looks like a pit of glowing ectoplasm and spinning saw blades. A countdown clock flashes in the corner.

Batman’s voice goes cold.

“Is that—”

“Phantom,” Nightwing finishes. “That’s Phantom.”

Tim frowns.

Not because Phantom is on-screen. Phantom is always on-screen. The ghost thrives on drama, spectacle, and mild trolling. What doesn’t make sense is the body language. The “hostages” aren’t panicking. One of them is vibing. Another looks like he’s counting beats under his breath.

Then Phantom steps into frame, waving cheerfully.

“Hi Gotham!” he says. “Quick announcement! I need your help. My favorite band is holding a contest to decide where they’ll play their next concert, and honestly? Gotham deserves it.”

Batman’s jaw tightens.

“So,” Phantom continues brightly, “I’ve borrowed a few fans to help me make the perfect dance video. If we lose, well—” He gestures vaguely at the pit. “Oops?”

Tim’s screen lights up with alerts. More videos. Different locations. Different “traps.” Same eerie calm from the people involved.

Oracle’s voice cuts in, sharp. “Bruce. There are over a hundred missing persons reports tied to this.”

The room goes silent.

Jason swears. “Tell me I’m hallucinating.”

Tim’s pulse starts to race—but not with fear. With something colder.

Because Phantom looks… happy. Focused. Organized.

This isn’t chaos.

This is choreography.

And Phantom—Danny, Tim’s mind supplies without permission—locks eyes with the camera for half a second longer than necessary.

Tim’s chest burns.

Batman straightens. “We treat this as a mass-casualty event. Phantom is no longer a low-level rogue.”

Tim swallows.

Because if they’re right—if Phantom really is capable of this—

Idea.

Tim knew this was happening and the footage is prerecorded.

After the initial dance sequence (the bats still think this is live and are trying to trace the signal). Red Robin suddenly appears on screen.

Once the traditional “wait what” reaction is complete the Red Robin on screen starts dancing and lip sinking to the rap battle-esque lyrics with a group of hostages dressed in Red Robin merch acting as Bollywood-esque backup dancers.

Phantom and his backup dancers, lip sink and crump dance to the response part of the song.

The song reaches a quiet pause right before Red Robin and Phantom start a highly choreographed, Wuxia inspired dance battle.

As the song is about to end an exhausted Red Robin and Phantom are seen panting heavily and proceed to run at each other in a “one final move” dance battle to the death, when the song and screen suddenly cut out.

From the blank screen words begin to materialized stating “Who Won? You Decide” followed by web site information.

The credits start rolling with pictures and bloopers featuring the hostages (who are fully credited) who are having the time of their lives, teasing Red Robin and Phantom and doing other weird cast member stuff and playing with the “death traps”

Another Gala setting with DcxDp

With Tim x Danny

Tim bored out of his mind at this Gala like any other Gala that gets hosted, Danny running into Tim, Tim immediately being star struck but this Stranger he's never seen before thinking love at first sight.

Tim: "Wow you're so pretty.."

Danny: " thank you but I'm actually running from my godfather right now, he keeps trying to show me off to other "Heirs"."

Tim: (thinks about how much Bruce has been bothering his siblings about getting married and having grandkids)"... Just how badly do you wanna get away from your godfather?"

Danny: So, how worried do I need to be about your Dad spoiling my kids? Because that looks worryingly like Dani is trying to scam a pony out of him...

Tim: She will have a pony by the end of the week yes. B will also be digging from whatever thing is equal to her love of ponies to give to Dan.

Jason: …why?

Dan: So Vlad can’t have them

Dan: Nana M, you being his heir and the packers?

Danny: And what would happen if you, being my son, owned the packers?

Dan: Ohh, ewww, he'd get even MORE obsessed with us! And the packers! Not worth it! Changed my mind!!!

Dani: Get a dog! Vlad *hates* dogs. Specially after what Cujo did to his castle last time he took Papa!

Jason: Tim, take notes, this is how you convince kids of stuff. Not whatever happened to you as a kid.

Tim: Talking to them as if they are real people, fascinating... I have the smartest husband.

Danny: well, technically speaking, they're biologically his as well. But he refuses to pay child support unless i renounce my family and officially join his, so we're doing what we can here.

*de-aged due to destabilising, Dani is 4 and Dan is 3*

Bruce: *does the math and thinks he's connected the dots* excuse me, i need to go punch a man.

Dick: here, borrow my brass knuckles! I stole them from Jay!

Dan: no, borrow mine. He's a Meta, so these will hurt him more. *hands over ecto-infused brass knuckles!

I technically don’t have time for this. BUT guess what, I did it anyway.

I also added a few tattoos to Eddie because I imagined this was at the start of the 90s ;) it was fun trying to think of something he would get in this context. So there is a devil holding The nail bat and on his calf the text from the ring in lotr. And also a small sword that was supposed to be Narsil (also lotr), but I got lazy.

Tim: say it out loud

Bernard: vampire

Tim: wait what no—

I have a super cliché TimBern omegaverse headcanon: Tim/Alpha with coffee-scented pheromones (very cliché, I know) and Bernard/Omega with vanilla-scented pheromones. But there’s one thing I always love imagining when it comes to Bernard’s pregnancy and it’s… Tim suffering the pregnancy symptoms instead!

Just imagine it: Bernard doesn’t even realize he’s pregnant until Tim starts showing symptoms first. He gets nauseous during patrols, can’t stand the smell of certain chemicals, sleeps like he’s hibernating, and everyone comes to the conclusion that Tim is either sick or just dangerously overworked.

But Bernard starts getting suspicious when Tim suddenly develops bizarre food cravings.

“Why are you eating donuts with mustard? Wait… are you eating tomato!?”

“Yeah, for some weird reason I really wanted it.”

“Tim, you hate tomatoes. You despise them so much that I had to modify most of my recipes because of your openly declared hatred of tomatoes.”

Then after that day, Bernard goes to a Gotham clinic to get tested and surprise! Tiny baby on the way.

Timbern au where Tim (as Batman) is up to his usual bullshit. Completely overworking himself, not letting himself rest, hardly seeing his husband or anyone he cares about because of it, etc etc

Bernard, who is functionally alone (and only has his minimal connections like Steph, Cass, Darcy), gets really sick of it and tired of being pushed away. This PLUS also being pretty tired of his only connections being people he met through Tim. The husband who he doesn't even get to talk to because he's too busy being Batman and can't have a slow day in this giant fucking manor

So, as any middle aged bored gay man does, he decides to join a club.

It's something like a book club or pottery club or something. Just a group in Gotham that meets up intermittently to do an activity. It's something that keeps his mind off of things and keeps him out of the house! Something like a third space.

And in this club he meets a guy. A guy he totally hits it off with. Getting along like a house on fire.

A guy who's totally into him.

And now they're texting outside of the club. Bernard's going to his place to hang out. Bernard's inviting him to the manor so he can cook for him.

Somehow, on an off chance or occasion, Tim runs into this guy. In his house. Tim didn't know this guy was gonna be in his house, all he knew was that Bee had a new friend that he liked very much from his new club. (He didn't have enough time to ask about more details about said new friend)

And, holy shit, it is so obvious that this guy is into his husband. He's standing in Tim's house eating food bought with Tim's money sitting on Tim's couch, and is blatantly hitting on Tim's husband. He even has the audacity to size him up like he's competition.

Then he has to watch Bernard be so unaware of this guy's flirting because he's being so nice about it. And Tim can tell that he's in it for the long haul. In on HITTING ON HIS HUSBAND.

-

Tim: You know, Bruce, this is actually a good thing. I'm learning a lot in medical school.

Bruce: Tim, this is insane.

Tim: Whatever, Alfred said he's proud of me because I'm on track to finish my first year. He told me I'm not allowed to drop out anymore.

Bruce: Tim, please...

-

Tim: How'd you find out it was me?

Darla: You're not that good at makeup, Tim.

Tim: I followed a tutorial :(

-

Bernard: What's college really like? Cause I don't think my teachers are being honest.

Caroline: I mean, it's different for everyone. Medical school is gonna be totally different from... what was it you wanted to do? Culinary school?

Bernard: Yeah... wait how do you know that?

Tim, mentally: Fuck, good going, Timothy

Caroline: Tim told me. Makes sense, he said you're a great cook.

Bernard, suddenly very red: Tim said that?

-

Bernard: Tim told her I'm a good cook! She wants me to make her something!

Darla, sick and tired of these two: Do you want me to punch him in the face or something, what do you want from me??

Bernard: I should bake Tim something.

Darla: You mean Caroline?

Bernard: Wha- OH! Yeah, yes, Caroline. I will bake something for Caroline.

-

Dick after meeting Bernard for the first time: Tim, he's not worth it.

Tim: How do you mean?

Dick: I'm not the best guage of the attractivness of teenage boys-

Tim: I'd hope not.

Dick: -but does he make you laugh or something?

Tim: Yes, but he's also very attractive. And very straight, which is disappointing.

Dick, who clocked Bernard immediatly upon seeing him: That's just not true.

-

Darla: Tim, you are a freak. I should've known when I found out about your Batman hyperfixation, but you are a freak.

Tim, putting on Caroline's chest plate: Whatever, just don't tell Bernard. He'll try to sacrfice me to the devil or something if he finds out.

Darla: Yeah, and you'd like that wouldn't you.

Tim: I mean...

Darla: ...

This is something that I personally experience actually, so maybe it's a little bit of projection speaking here. But either way I wanted to think about Bernard seeing things in a romantic subtext in full for the first time and it jumpstarting him reading romance novel after romance novel to get a glimpse of what love is supposed to be, how others see it and show it. So now he has a very.... special way of communicating his adoration for people. Like the freak he is (the theatre electives didn't help any either, I'm sure.)

Bernard: "Do you ever think about how the curve of your neck and the dip of your collar bone is moulded perfectly for the sole intent of cradling the head of another?"

Tim: "Is this your way of asking for cuddles?"

Bernard, already making grabbing hands: "Absolutely. Come here."

Male omegas are quite rare, so he does his best to keep his true gender hidden and pretends to be just a beta. He's careful enough to conceal his scent and excuse his absences from school by claiming he's "sick."

After doing some research on how to get through the heat without so much pain, according to experts (from Reddit), making a nest with clothes or objects from the pack and/or partner helps to confront and feel safer.

Bernard doesn't have a pack; everyone he knows (including his parents) are betas, so he can't ask them for something as embarrassing as an article of clothing. However, one day in the gym showers, he stares for a long time at Tim's socks inside his sneakers. According to the experts, shirts and hoodies are ideal, but stealing a t-shirt from Tim would be too obvious... but socks! Everyone loses their socks!

He steals Tim's socks and one of Darla's hair ties, and his heat passes without so much pain. So, when he feels his heat coming on, he steals a few pairs of socks and puts them in a cloth bag along with some hair ties to use as a sort of comforting pillow. And he returns the things to each of their lockers.

Unbeknownst to him, Bernard formed a pack bond with his friends by using their belongings for nesting, even though they were betas.

But Darla dies, and Tim disappears from his life.

Bernard becomes a packless omega with a broken bond... and that makes his scent of loneliness and helplessness so alluring and intoxicating when he's punished within the cult of "The Children of Dionysus." There's a morbid pleasure in hurting (until he bleeds) a broken omega trying to stay on his feet, making him a candidate for sacrifice. Bernard doesn't mind being a sacrifice as long as he can feel even a fragment of belonging to a pack.

...or so he thinks, until he runs into Tim again.

Robin saves him from the cult, and Tim asks him out on a date. Bernard can get his life back on track, study gastronomy, and have a romance with Tim.

Tim: Ehm... That I'm bisexual and I've been dating with my boyfriend for more than four years by now?

Reporter: Oh-

Tim: I would fake-join a cult and taking the torture of that cult just to understand what he was feeling.

Reporter: What?

Jazz: Wonderful! What is it?

Danny: I can control people's desire to gamble.

Dan: How in the world did you figure that out? I never had a power like that.

Danny: Remember last month when we fought that empathic-powered ghost that made people fall victim to thier vices?

Dan: Enchant, yes. She was gorgeous.

Jazz dreamy: She really was.

Danny: ....Anyway, I was able to defeat Enchant when I overcame my vice through sheer will and...lack of funds.

Dani: Because you lost them all at the slots.

Danny: Yes, because I lost them all at the slots. Thank you for the reminder, Dani.

Dani: Always.

Danny: Well, once I beat her, I didn't go back to the casino until today for my friend's birthday party-

Dan: It's not Sam's or Tucker's birthdays?

Danny: I have other friends.

Dan confused: How?

Danny: Can I please finish my story!?

Jazz: yes, you can Danny. Everyone else, hush.

Danny: Thank you, Jazz. Anyway, I went back and noticed a dark ectoplasm cloud around some people sitting down at the machines. When I got closer to check if it was a ghost doing something, the cloud was absorbed into my body, and they immediately stopped gambling. I felt it the moment I took it. I removed thier gambling addiction. Curiosity got the better of me, and I tried putting the cloud on a man being rude to the employees, and he started betting like there was no tomorrow. He was addicted. Of course I took the cloud back, but I now I know I can control the urge at will.

Dan: That's cool. Can you make everyone fall victim to thier other vices?

Danny: *snaps finger guns* No. Just gambling

Dan: Then how is that useful at all?

Danny: I'm glad you asked brother dearest. I bought a run-down casino in Gotham, using our entire life savings!

Jazz: YOU WHAT?!

Danny: Wait, this is good! I can guarantee that any of the high ballers will give us all thier money!

Dani: Who, the Waynes? Danny, its a run down casino, people with money ain't going to go in there! YOU PUT US ALL AT RISK OF BEING HOMELESS

Dan: Not me. I have my condo.

Danny: I might have....sold that for the renovations.

Dan: YOU WHAT!?

Danny: It's okay! Once we're up and running, I'll control people enough to make sure we get rich without letting anyone lose thier livelihood! Trust me, this will work!

Jazz: YOU SON OF A-

Danny: Before you finish that sentence remember we share the same parents and thus you insult your own Mother or father!

Jazz: Agh! Fine! But you better make sure this casino is successful because if you don't, I will make sure you never see the light of day, ever. Again.

Danny: I swear it will! I sent the Waynes a personal invitation to the grand opening with something they can't resist!

Dani: A top less picture of you and Dan with your faces tastefully out of frame?

Danny: Ugh, yeah. How did you guess?

Dani shrugging: Its what I would have done to get Brucie Wayne's attention.

Jazz: What do we need to do to get the casino ready for opening day? Did you get the license, permits and all that?

Danny: Sure did! Ghostwriter owed me a favor.

Dan: Oh damn. Paranormal forgery

Danny: It's not forgery if it's legally in the system! By the way Jazz and Dani, I might have included pictures of you in bikinis with your faces tastefully out of frame. Just in case those rumors about Brucie are false. At least we can get some of his kids into the casino if he thinsk the photos aren't worth his time. The three oldest are 21+

Dani: Smart

Jazz: ......We're going to be homeless.

Nightwing: let’s listen to this one’s.

Nightwing turns showing Red Robin, Bernard and Superboy.

Red Robin, screaming metal: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Superboy:

Superboy: yeah, I don’t think I can do that-

Bernard: AHHHHHHHH!

Nightwing:

Nightwing: we can’t post this.