——————

He was living on borrowed time.

He had felt this way as soon as Richie had woken from the deadlights. He had taken such a deep breath after Eddie had reached him, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Richie eyes had widened as he gripped Eddie’s arms and rolled both of them away from where Richie had been laying. Eddie barely had time to notice as they narrowly avoided the giant claw striking down where they had just been.

Eddie remembers the feeling of shock, how scared he had felt in that moment. He could’ve died, but he hadn’t. Because of Richie.

He remembers trying to swallow down whatever unsureness he had felt in that moment.

He remembers looking over at Richie, only to find him staring right back. Eddie had tried to say something, anything. Perhaps thank Richie for saving his life.

He remembers leaning a little closer, trying to get the words out as he looked in Richie’s eyes. Then someone, probably Bill, had shouted for both of them to come help. Beverly’s screams echoed around them and the moment had been lost.

Eddie remembers.

For the first time in 27 years, he wishes he couldn’t.

Once they had finally gotten back to the Inn, he had left himself think. He belatedly wonders if he should call Myra.

Bill had mentioned needing to get back to work as soon as possible.

Richie had casually brought up tour dates he had coming up.

Stan was desperate to get back to Patty.

Ben and Beverly obviously were planning on getting the hell out of Derry again, but this time, together.

Mike was heading to Florida, maybe someplace further after that.

Eddie wasn’t quite sure where that left him. He had a job but he’d be surprised if they hadn’t already fired him considering the lack of notice he had gave before leaving. He had a wife but she was the last person he wanted to see right now.

He doesn’t know how to move on from this. He’s not sure what to do now that he Remembers. He doesn’t know how the rest of them can just go back to their lives.

Every time he closes his eyes, he sees himself dead, the way their battle with IT was supposed to end for him.

rules: answer 16 questions & tag 16 people you want to know better

1. nickname: i guess just lexi? thats what most ppl call me tho

2. zodiac sign: i’m a leo but i kno like nothing about astrology soooo

3. height: about 5′3! taller than my best friend and thats all that matters

4. hogwarts house: gryffindor! 

5. last thing i googled: nightmare before christmas so i could watch it fjgjfd

6. song stuck in my head: i saw mommy kissing santa claus and it has been for DAYS

7. following: 185

8. followers: 75 fjgjkd im very popular ik ikk

9. amount of sleep i get: too much i have no schedule every day is a mystery

10. lucky numbers: hmmm i guess 13 and 15 

11. dream job: i have NO idea mayb something with video games

12. wearing: a sweatshirt and leggings with a blanket cape bc its FREEZING in my room

13. favourite songs: uHHH bored by tessa violet, strawberry blonde by mitski, andddd ribs by lorde jgkgjk

14. instruments: i have a ukulele that i can play like 4 cords on gjfgjdx

15. random facts: uhhh my room has a peppermint marshmallow room scent thing from bath and body works

16. aesthetics: looking like a cool skater boy but not being able to skate and vintage things

tagging NO ONE bc i dont rly follow a lot of IT blogs much less ones im mutuals with jfjfk SOOOOOO if u want to do it just go ahead <3 <3 <3