The Ticklish Secret

I've been very fortunate in recent years to have found some really cool and awesome people here in this community. And I also fully recognize, that it'd probably do some good if I a) was more consistent about reaching out with the people I've already connected with, and b) tried to connect to more folks. One reason, for example, is pretty (very) self-serving, but it helps with the loneliness that comes with my current circumstances being a stay at home parent.

That being said, I'm in a conundrum that one, doesn't feel super appropriate to talk about in this space, and two, doesn't really have an immediate solution.

Long story short, I'm pregnant and baby's due to arrive sometime (probably) in june. Not to get into the politics of pregnancy, but my body doesn't feel like it's just...mine? At least not in the same way as before. But also, there's a child involved, so engaging in kink rn feels different, and in a way I don't really enjoy.

Plus, that's only the mental side of it. There's an obvious physical component, too. There isn't a single part of a person's anatomy that goes unchanged in pregnancy--even with a healthy one. Hell, i can't even physically participate in shibari rn bc of how much bloodflow is changed. Or there are so many positions that would either be uncomfortable or dangerous for me to be in. All of the bodily changes both through and after pregnancy can (in my case, do) have a huge impact on a person's self-image. Hell, I think it took me 9+ months after my first to send a tummy pic to a friend again. I had a *lot* of stretch marks (the recipient of the pic graciously called it "an impressive amount" lol), plus my weight fluctuated too. Not that that really matters, but it did to me.

It makes sense why it's not talked about in this space. But, the fact that it *isn't* talked about makes it feel more difficult to bring up the changes that happen. Like, i want to engage with others both on and off the subject of tickling. But it feels very...taboo? Right now? And it doesn't help that this pregnancy has been stressful and high risk (with more complications possibly on the horizon that im being monitored for), so I would *love* if I could just get like, wrecked to the point of not having to think. Like not to be too lee on main, but I would adore having my absolute shit wrecked to the point of being an incoherent puddle of blush and laughter. But, like I said earlier on, that feels very taboo right now.