Who's got the button?

[☕ko-fi] || [⏸Cover] || [⏮Story 1]

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“Between him and me,”

“Between him and I. Grammar, Stanley.”

FORD IS WRONG!

The trick for grammatical correction is to eliminate the other pronoun (or noun) to figure out what’s proper.

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It also partially bleeds into real life, at least in terms of the whole "kind people are manipulating others" thing. Look at the way the cultural perception of people-pleasing- often a trauma response or a response to anxiety or low self-esteem- has shifted over the years. Nowadays, people think of people-pleasing as the ultimate form of gaslighting and emotional manipulation, of people-pleasers as cartoon villains in disguise, gleefully tapping their fingers together as they sap the mental energy out of those around them. When they see someone like that, they are expecting, functionally, a twist villain. Thus, it's considered more acceptable, more upfront, and all around better to simply be harsh and cruel to others because of trauma than it is to try to cope with it by keeping the peace and making others happy. That's why people like Jax more than Ragatha: Jax's coping mechanism isn't "manipulative" or "deceptive". They can't wrap their head around the fact that Jax is not a damaged heart of gold, and that Ragatha isn't secretly evilly laughing to herself about tricking the others.

I think you have a good point here. Time and time again I have seen Ragatha be referred to as a manipulator who has some kind of selfish ulterior motive behind her behavior. I clocked it as a trauma response from the start though at the time I didn't know the specifics, I just assumed that living as long as she has in the circus would deal some pretty hefty damage and that she would try to maintain peace and positivity among the surviving circus members after witnessing abstraction after abstraction, so I was...understandably shocked to discover people thought she was actually secretly trying to gaslight people into liking her. And that people continued to believe that even after Ragatha's past as an abused child was revealed. Meanwhile the narrative by the fandom was definitely that Jax was simply misunderstood and must have suffered in his past life, which I am not downplaying the abuse he suffered too, but...you also can't just deny his faults or act like the things he did weren't that bad or were a reasonable trauma response. It explains the reasons why, but does not and should not excuse it. We're no longer just talking about throwing Ragatha into a deep fryer or throwing Pomni off a truck anymore, we're talking about isolating people to the point of abstraction and taking his guilt out on others, in Ragatha's case by forcing her into silence.

yayy

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[☕ko-fi] || [⏮Cover]

We know the world exists on a computer, the same computer Pomni saw during her time in the exit maze. The headset is resting on the desk in plain view, but in a position that looks like it was placed there and not, oh, I don't know, dropped as if someone was sucked into it. And if people get trapped and can't take off the headset once they put it on, there would have been a person in that chair wearing the headset. Instead we see the desk with the computer on, the headset resting on top, and the chair empty, pushed aside as if someone has gotten up from it.

So, if this copy theory is true, what could really be done for our cast of characters? They believe they are real people, and in a sense they are, but what can a mind escape to without a body? These copies of consciousness wouldn't be able to be put back into the original. You could come up with an in-world solution I suppose, but I personally like the idea of the circus members reckoning with their personhood after realizing they're basically digital save files that continued playing the game after the user logged off.

I can imagine the end of this series cutting from our main cast (in whatever state they might be) to their counterparts in the real world. Imagine how devastating it would be, to cut from the horrors of the Digital Circus to the mundane lives they actually lead. Imagine how it would be to see them walk by each other, without any knowledge of who these strangers are, knowing what they all went through in their digital prison.

I imagine Ragatha passing Kinger in a grocery store, perhaps having a polite interaction before parting ways. We already know that they've been in the circus the longest, and we can guess that Kinger played a role in helping Ragatha get adjusted to the circus. Ragatha is clearly fond of him and values what he has to say in his lucid moments. What would it be like, then, to see these characters who were close in the game be virtual (ha) strangers in real life? To know that these characters don't have that trauma, but as a result don't have each other? To know they pain they went through together that that have no idea happened?

But I can't believe I called the cut to the real life versions!

While the ending is framed as more hopeful than what I anticipated, and while the characters were able to grow and lead better lives in the real world, I still think it's bittersweet that their real life versions have no idea what kind of impact they've had on each other's lives. It seems like they might all cross paths in the future, but as it stands only Leroy and Riley have crossed paths at all.

Congratulations on your new loving, extremely loud mom

Pomni not having anything resembling a life outside of the Circus (at least from her perspective) is probably the reason she became so resigned to her fate so quickly compared to the others.

There wasn’t anything necessarily wrong with her life. She had a stable job, enough freedom to indulge in personal enjoyment, but it’s clear from how she talks about it that she wasn’t exactly happy about it.

“If it has to be my home…”

This line from Pomni from ep 2 was always so telling to me because just the way she casually describes what’s essentially her imprisonment gave me the impression that she really didn’t have anything she was striving to go back to.

Yes, she was desperate to leave in the Pilot, but I think that’s a very natural reaction. Especially if the place she suddenly found herself in is incredibly overwhelming and existentially horrifying.

But after all of that panic wears off, when the confirmation of no escape sinks in, what’s left is just…resignation. Because what exactly was there for her to mourn?

No friends and no family to wonder or worry about her. All she truly lost was her reality, her identity, and her name.

Pomni also doesn’t strike me as someone with actual life goals like Gangle or Zooble. Or someone aiming for a chance to get out of a bad situation like Ragatha. Or part of a career she’s genuinely passionate about like Kinger. Hell it doesn’t seem like she has general passion for anything outside of…documenting places that have been abandoned.

And that’s why I think her mood improves upon realizing she can still try and be someone to someone else. Why just having a friend would be enough to help her endure this new kind of monotonous horror she has to live in. Why she’s so keen on building some kind of community with people she has no choice but to be stuck with.

And her lack of meaningful connections in the real world explains why she’s honestly kind of bad at it.

And Y’know what? I genuinely love that about her.

I love that we get to see how Pomni is not that great of a friend in the series, because of course she would be. I love that she struggles with doing the right thing, doesn’t think things through enough, makes the wrong choices, is late with apologies, has awkward interactions, and bets on losing dogs.

Her social life was practically nonexistent, you really think this girl knows how to be a therapist of all things? She’s just trying her best, and her best is not always gonna look good.

But the important thing is that she keeps trying. Keeps trying to be a better friend, even to people who feel like they don’t deserve her friendship. Pomni’s fear of being forgotten has always aligned with her inherent desire to create connections. It’s why she’s so adamant about getting these people to just talk to her, because how else is she gonna understand them better? How else can she figure out the best way to connect to them?

Idk maybe I just like the fact that Pomni isn’t a perfect protagonist. Her being very passive most of the time feels on brand for an adult who’s so bored with life but not actively doing anything to improve it. And when she does try to do something to improve it, and it ends up not working out the way she was hoping for, she would take it incredibly personally. Hence her breakdown in the finale after her plan to help everyone failed. She wasn’t crying for herself, she was crying for them.