the thriving chapter

It's okay to feel triggered and emotional. It's okay to not move past it as quickly as I'd like. This is all just part of the healing journey.

It is brave to leave a toxic relationship. That makes me strong. I am worthy of love and care. I am healing every day. My past does not define me.

I deserve healthy, fulfilling live, starting with love for myself.

The memories make me anxious because they remind me of feeling neglected and unloved. That was then, this is now. I am safe now. I am worthy of real love.

That relationship taught me a lot about myself, my needs, my boundaries, and my flaws. If I had not gone through that experience, I would not be the same woman I am today. I probably would not have the same values and boundaries. I am a better person because of it. I have come so far in the last six months. Breaking free from a toxic relationship is no small feat.

It's okay to feel angry about what I went through. This means I recognize my worth and the injustice of how I was treated. This anger protects me. It will remind me of how I want to be treated in the future.

I am building a future that's free of this pain.

1. He doesn’t want to lose touch. He’s hoping he can sweeten you up to ensure he stays on your mind and in your heart so that he has a chance to date you if he wants to in the future. What a jerk. He’s the one who pushed you out of his life, so he can’t expect to creep back in without even apologizing or being real about why he disappeared in the first place.

2. He doesn’t realize how awkward it is (or just doesn’t care). He could call you up to say hey, but that feels awkward af, especially if he suspects you’d hang up on him. At least with social media, he can hide behind a screen and say hello in the form of “likes.” it’s also a clever way to test the temperature. If you don’t “like” his stuff back or contact him properly, he knows you’re completely out of reach. What a coward.

3. He doesn’t want to be with you, but he wants you to think he does. Just because he approved of your gorgeous selfie doesn’t mean that he’s hoping for a second chance. He’s hoping you’ll THINK that so you’ll leave the door open for him to possibly step in again.

4. He’s lazy af. He doesn’t want to make a lot of effort. That’s why he bolted the first time, choosing to be remembered as the jerk rather than a guy who deserved your time. This “liking” business fits in with his personality. Instead of making a real effort, like texting or calling you and having a real conversation, he’ll put in almost no effort just hoping to catch your eye.

5. He wants attention. The guy who crazily likes all your social media posts might be seen as wanting to shower you with attention, but it’s probably all about him. He wants you to talk about him to his friends. He wants to know that your heart still skips a beat when he’s around, so really, it’s not about you at all. Don’t be flattered.

6. He hopes you’ll still be down for sex sometime. He obviously liked you before he ghosted you, and now he’s seeing you looking happy and gorgeous on social media, he’s hoping you can remain an option if he needs one in the future when he’s bored or horny on a Saturday night. By liking his way into your good books again, he can booty call you at a later date without feeling weird about it. Oh, hell no.

7. He wants you to think he’s into you. He’s an arrogant guy who thinks he can waltz back into your life in any shape or form and get a standing ovation. He might even do this just to stroke his own ego, to show himself that he can still get you to be interested if he wants.

8. He’s feeling nostalgic. When he saw you looking happy on Instagram, he couldn’t help but be transported back in time to when the two of you were together, so he ended up going through all your posts on his little nostalgic trip. It doesn’t mean he wants to have another shot with you, though. If he did, he’d be putting in loads more effort than just liking a beach selfie, for goodness’ sake.

9. He feels guilty. Maybe his social media antics are just about feeling guilty for what he did--and he should be torn up about it because he missed out on an amazing woman! Either way, don’t feel sorry for him. He’s a jerk if he thinks liking your social media posts is going to make up for what he did to you.

10. He wants to know if you’ve moved on. He was on social media and decided to check out your Facebook profile since you’re still listed as friends. He wanted to see what you’ve been up to and if you’re dating someone else. He liked your pictures because he likes that you’re still single. He might be one of those competitive guys who doesn’t want to be with you but doesn’t want you to be with anyone else either.

11. It’s just a few likes--it’s not that deep. Of course there’s always the chance that this guy is really just liking everyone’s posts. Check out some of his other friends or followers to see if he’s liking their holiday snaps and status updates. It’s good to keep in mind that a “like” doesn’t have to mean anything more. If they bother you, you should just block the guy. After he ghosted you, he deserves it.