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Somebody always has to care more. This is the unfortunate, cardinal rule of how relationships function. If one person didn’t care a teeny bit more than the other, no one would ever get asked out. Or proposed to. Or counselled back from the brink of divorce. Someone always has to put in a tiny bit more effort than the other party is offering and throughout the course of your life, you’re going to be on both sides of the situation at least once.

You’re going to be loved by someone who you just kind of like. You’re going to be head over heels for someone who essentially thinks you’re okay. And I can almost entirely assure you that you’re going to loathe the latter situation. We all do. Being the one who cares more makes you feel uncomfortably desperate – like you suddenly have to justify your entire existence to somebody else.

“I’m a catch!” You’ll want to shout at them. “I’m smart and adorable and my jokes are well-timed and my hair looks fantastic today.” You’ll comb through possible reasons why they are not as ethereally pumped about you as you are about them and you’ll come up empty-handed at best, filled with self-doubt at worst. You will resolve to care less. You will strive to inhibit the most basic emotional response possible to a situation that you are happy about.

And you know what? That is bullshit.

Being the one who cares less makes us feel cool and suave. But never anything more than that. It can’t even begin to compare with the excitement of meeting someone you are CRAZY about. Someone who lights up your day with every subtle interaction. Someone you cannot wait to see again. I know it’s a trial to be the one who cares more. But it’s also the most enthralling, fulfilling feeling and I’d like to urge you not to sell yourself short of it.

Just be the freaking person who cares more. Be the person who tries harder, loves stronger, gives more of a shit than all of the half-alive people who surround them. Be the person who answers their messages, shows up to their commitments and doesn’t leave others hanging or guessing at their eternally vague intentions. Be the person you wish you were dating. If you’re sick of the game then stop playing it. If you’re tired of the bullshit, then cut it.

Because the last thing this world needs is one more indifferent person. If you’re the only one left with passion, then use it. Use the hell out of it. At the end of your life, go out with a bruised-up, worn out heart that gave too much and loved too strongly and felt too fiercely. Go out with the certainty that you gave it everything you had and didn’t hold anything back. Go out empty-handed when it comes to should-haves and might-have-beens.

Because it’s an infinitely more fulfilling way to live than the alternative. It will always be more honorable to be out in the field getting trampled on than to be on the sidelines feeling superior for never having tried.

I am tired of taking pride in being the one who cares less. It’s not a badge of honor to wear on your chest as a triumph of human detachment. If you care less, cut the cord. If you care more then show it. Answer your messages. Show up to your commitments. Don’t scale back or water-down your passion to keep up with someone who’s dead inside. Arrive with enthusiasm to every waking moment of your life.

Because that is what we need in this world – more people who care. More people who give a shit. More people who aren’t afraid to shout what they want from the rooftops and pursue it with a sense of abandon. We need more people with passion. More people with gusto. More people who will stand up and fight for exactly what they want out of life because they aren’t afraid to look a little stupid and feel a little disappointed on their way to achieving what they want out of it.

We need more people who care more, regardless of how that makes them look. More people who are, perhaps, exactly like you.

Harry is an author for a while but ultimately becomes DADA professor at Hogwarts

Harry is an amazing dad and goes out of his way to support his kids, embarrassing all of them in the process

Neville forms his own version of a Slug Club but for students who need a friend or some kind words. This includes trans students who are struggling with transphobia.

Neville, Luna, and Ginny get together a lot at Hogwarts and take long walks. They mostly just talk but sometimes Luna insists on showing them some new experiment she is involved in.

Harry, Fleur, and Krum all visit Cedric’s grave together a few years after the war

Hermione never joins the ministry. Instead she opens a non-profit that helps support muggleborns while also advocating for better treatment of non-humans.

Ginny and Harry get two way mirrors so they never have to go so long without seeing each other

Lily Luna turns out to be a bigger prankster than both her brothers

Harry collected pictures of Tonks and Remus to give to Teddy in an album at the end of his first year.

Madam Pomfrey insists on educating the hogwarts staff on mental health after the Battle of Hogwarts and provides help to students struggling with PTSD

1. I need to stop listening to R&B when I draw