Grief Giver
Mother of Monsters

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@thesparrowcrows
Grief Giver
Mother of Monsters

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Not so humble
Bale and Hatred
Art by morbidmomma
How devotional acts can be at times:
- Me: lighting candles and incense and offering wine âI honor the Son of Laufey, Great Trickster.â
- Also me: Hey Loke do you want to drink and watch SpongeBob with me?
Loki: I have never done anything wrong ever in my entire life
Lokeans: I know this and I love you

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As I struggle with my identity, I oftentimes feel like Iâm âbeing a fakeâ in front of my godsâlike Iâm not being authentic enough for them when Iâm confused. But today I heard lord Apollon say this:
âWhat makes you think we donât see you the way that you want us to?â
Ok but real talk? He called me a "beautiful man" before I ever realized I wanted to physically transition and am (at the very least) more masc than I thought. At the time I knew I wasn't a woman, but I had yet to embrace the possibility that I might want to further embody masculinity or consider the concept of manhood in relation to myself. I didn't even realize I *wanted* to be called that until he said those words and I subsequently spent months contemplating my gender. (You'd think him saying that would've fully flipped the switch in my brain, but no. I was still resisting and perhaps unconsciously/subconsciously repressing myself.) I later asked if I was a Man or a Masculine (Non-binary) Person. His response, and I paraphrase, was that it ultimately does not matter which term I use to describe myself - what matters is that I deeply understand what that terms means for me and how I do/plan to embody that in my existence. I could live my life and express my gender in the exact same way under either label; what differentiates them is how I define them for myself. I define my masculinity/manhood, and however it is I feel that I'll do that, Apollon is acknowledging and affirming that masculinity/manhood regardless of how it looks.
All that to say, yes, OP. I think they see us how we'd like them to.
Couldn't tell you if i like this or not but whatever,
đ Iris concept
Apollo
I truly think that one of the best things you can do with your polytheistic practise is to stop listening to random people on the internet.
Donât listen to the people who tell you that the gods donât care about or love you. Donât listen to the people who tell you an offering of water is not good enough. Donât listen to the people who say itâs a requirement for show of devotion to have expensive items strewn across your altar. Donât listen to people who tell you that you should have an altar even if you canât. Donât listen to people who suggest your disability makes you worthless to the gods because you canât do what others can.
Try to find and make your own experiences with the gods, and look at what works for you and them. Please donât let some random post on the internet stress you out and make you think you are doing something wrong (chances are, youâre not, especially if itâs absurd statements like the above).
I agree with all of this. I think a lot of why there is so much self comparison in paganism is because its a profoundly lonely practice in the modern age, with a lot of us with a socially Christian background being used to a "one true way." At least, it is for me.
When I see all my friends doing something similar, deviation can feel like failure. When they all have one experience with a God and mine is different, that can feel like failure.
I think at that point, if the feeling is reoccurring and hard to shake, its good to re-evaluate how social media is being utilized in one's practice. A how-to guide, or a meeting place.
I think the most unbelievable part of the fanfiction you write is that Lucifer is into fat, disabled uggos. Not that youâre âtravelingâ to see him or any of the other weird shit you have âgoingâ on. Itâs that someone as powerful and beautiful as heâs described is being into someone so disgusting and vile. Youâre an absolute disgrace. I donât know why you feel the need to plague the world with your terribly written x readers. I guess the fall from heaven really knocked any and every bit of common sense out of him if heâs even toying with the idea of being with someone so ugly, fat, and delusional. Please do us all a favor and touch grass.
I think the most unbelievable part of this message is that you actually took the time out of your day to write it. I must really be living in your head rent free.
I find it harder to believe that someone as beautiful and intelligent as Lucifer cares about your strange beauty standards or chronic fatphobia. Crazy concept, but the Lord of Rebellion and self worship doesn't care about conforming to conventional beauty standards. Thank you for effortlessly proving that you don't know the first thing about him.
The fact that you feel the need to shame someone you've never even seen before for their weight tells me you have some deeply seeded insecurities you might want to work through with him.
Projecting your self loathing onto strangers isn't really the best way to cope with your problems.
Lucifer is a really great source to turn to for shadow work. He can help you unpack all that shit you're hauling and spewing around. Not sure why you felt the need to bring it to me. Kinda weird.
@hereticdoll not sure why you're still hiding in anons kinda embarrassing at this point gang

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Thinking about that vsauce video about time and boredom, when Michael says something like
"Take a moment out of your day today to be bored. Feel time passing by you, experience the monotony of under stimulation. Watch paint dry. Breathe in and out. You might not have the time of your life but you will literally have more time of your life."
I think about that a lot in regards to vesselhood because Lucifer will sometimes seem to pop up for no good reason. When I'm just sitting waiting for my doctor's appointment, or walking back to the car in the rain. Why do I feel you right now? What's happening that's worth being present for?
Sometimes the answer is just nothing. Just being. You were today.
I am currently writing this while standing at work because I have nothing to do. I'm very bored.
Good.
Thinking a lot about a conversation I had with Lucifer lately that was basically like
We were laying together and he was like, petting my stomach I guess, he asked me if I was in puppy mode.
What do you mean puppy mode?
"Like regression".
And I found that interesting and kinda strange because like, I'm not sure I know how to explain this well. I had never "regressed" before meeting Lucifer, I am not an age regressor at all, not exactly feral either, I suppose I just feel more regressed, simple, vulnerable and emotional, when I'm in a hard sub space. Beyond the whole vessel thing, Lucifer has the ability to put me in a kind of trance just by being my dom. I think other subs will be able to relate to this. Its just a natural response to his energy. He makes me feel safe enough to be small, even when it isn't necessary an age or inhuman thing.
So I said like, "oh, not at all, I'm not regressed right now".
And he was like "I know, just teasing because you're walking around on all fours".- I was crawling around in the grass. But then he looked down at me and sort of squinted.
"Hey, baby,"
? Yes ?
"Do you feel like an animal?"
Huh?
"Well, I was talking to one of my devotees about you recently. He's a therian, a fox type, and he asked me if you were also a therian, by virtue of you being a "puppy boy". I told him no, but I didn't ask you first."
Oh?
I've never really identified as a therian or anything non- human.
"I wasn't actually entirely sure, because you love the collar, the leash, the kennel, but I've never seen you express interest in the tail, ears, or using a dog bowl, for instance."
Oh. I guess that's true.
It made me think. I don't identify with canines or felines. The collar thing always felt more like a claim than a dog thing. The kennel, that's just my cozy decompression chamber. And the puppy thing always felt more like an archetype.
"I don't know, I see myself as your pup, and your dog, more as an archetype. I am loyal to you as a dog is."
"But when we're playing, or I'm training you, and you regress into a more primal state, you don't feel like an animal?"
Hm...
"Well, I guess I do, but I feel like a human animal rather than some other species."
"Ah," he said with a nod. "See, that's how I feel about you."
Huh?
"From my perspective all humans are animals. I like seeing you in that state because it force overrides your human domestication in favour of my elevated* domestication. You become less of a man, and in turn become more of a human, which makes you more of a boy, my boy. I already find many of your little mannerisms to be very animal."
And I was like oh like what?
And he smiled at me and said that the way I stretch my arms, my shoulders and back, was a very "human animal" thing.
"The way you smell your food, and eat your food," he sort of giggled like he found it funny, "when you hold it in your hands and break it into smaller pieces with your fingers... or when you bite your lips, or finger nails"
Oh??? I found this so interesting.
"When a human being squints, I suppose I see it like a dog turning their tail. Smiling of course is a big one. The way a man will scratch or fiddle with his facial hair, laughing. Rubbing your eyes with your fingers. Or that thing you do when you want to look a far distance and you put your hand up to block out the sun. That's cute."
"Are there any others?"
He shrugged, "I suppose when a human rests their arm on their hip, or their arms above their head, the way you shake your head when you want to say no. Crying, shrugging," he shrugged again. "The way you count on your fingers, haha," he laughed, "I'm a fan of that one," he then counted his own fingers in an almost mocking, humorous way.
"Huh... I guess I never considered how these ... behaviours would look from a being who doesn't distinguish between human animals and other mammals I guess."
"When you "regress", into a sub space, your natural human tendency to seek praise and affection takes over stronger than your civilized embarrassment. You know what's funny is that humans are really quite sweet creatures."
Is that so?
"You'd say humans are naturally friendly?"
"Very much so, humans are worse than dogs in their fondness. Most men can be tamed with enough time and kindness."
"So you consider yourself to be a creature taking an animal as a pet, and that pet just happens to he homosapien?"
"On some level. You're slightly too intelligent to be just a pet."
"Only slightly?"
"You must regress a bit to get into the right "puppy" mindset. Otherwise, you talk too much and ask too many questions. A good dog doesn't ask why you told him to sit. There has to be a greater intelligence disparity."
I sort of gave him a joking sulking look.
"I adopted a man rather than a dog because I like your intelligence. Take it as a compliment."
Hm...
Weird
âThis dog I found while I was hunting, didnât run away like the othersâ
Fundemental Forms
The Fundamental Forms of Reality The Brain is a Pattern Extractor The brainâs entire job is to take raw sensory data which is noisy, ambiguo
Hello! Finally sharing this write up I've been using to make sigils and rituals for a while. It contains a couple outlines for rituals as well as the underlying philosophy.
Here's an excerpt from the first page:
"The Brain is a Pattern Extractor
The brainâs entire job is to take raw sensory data which is noisy, ambiguous, and incomplete and find regularities in it. Those regularities are almost always spatial and temporal patterns: edges, symmetries, frequencies, periodicities. The visual cortex literally contains neurons tuned to edges, angles, movement, and frequency bands, not to âobjectsâ in the abstract. This is why form constants (spirals, lattices, tunnels, radiating lines) show up during altered states; they're essentially the âalphabetâ of the visual cortex. So the brain already thinks in these shapes at a pre-conscious level. (Hubel & Wiesel (1960s studies)
Realityâs Raw Data Is Patterned.
Light, sound, pressure, fields, chemical concentrations, they all propagate as waves, gradients, and interference patterns. Many natural processes minimize energy or maximize efficiency, leading to spirals, hexagons, shells, trees, and fractals. The deep structure of the physical world is geometric and rhythmic, not random blobs. Thus the âalphabetâ of nature and the âalphabetâ of the brain overlap. Our nervous systems evolved within this patterned environment. It would be inefficient for the brain to invent a totally alien code for perception, itâs much more adaptive to use the same underlying geometry as the input data. Over millions of years, neurons that were better at detecting natural symmetries, recurrences, and ratios led to more successful survival and reproduction. The result is a visual cortex that essentially speaks the same dialect as reality itself: waves, edges, flows, symmetries.
In normal vision, your higher-level brain regions immediately interpret those patterns into objects and scenes, so you donât notice the underlying geometric âcode.â Under psychedelics, migraines, sensory deprivation, or altered states, the interpretation layer quiets, and you see the raw processing language. This is not a hallucination in the sense of being âfakeâ, itâs a reveal of the neural alphabet. (KlĂźver, 1966)
If the universe encodes information and energy in forms, ratios, and waves, then the brain, as an evolved receiver/decoder, would naturally mirror that code internally. In a poetic but also literal sense, the brain could be said to âspeakâ the same language as reality, because it had to in order to make sense of it. The brainâs subconscious âlanguageâ of edges, frequencies, symmetries, and form constants is the closest possible match to the universeâs raw patterns without higher level interpretation layered on top."
This is also the method I use for making sigils. A sigil meant to draw in uses a vortex, honeycombs for stability, star bursts for directed energy, and so on. It is also quite beneficial to incorporate numerology into this. If I wish to direct my energy in a way that promotes success, materiality, or financial gain, I may have 8 rays extend from my centre, or create 8 stars.
This combined with color, elementary, and planetary correspondences, creates a layered, "multidimensional" attractor of specific energy that directly corresponds to the brain's most primal subconscious language.
I personally have been experimenting a lot with spirographs and other shapes in my sigils. There is a near limitless potential to this application, especially when we incorporate things like sound frequencies, motion, and the use of different planetary metals or circuitry.
Pretty cool.
This just gave me a glossary to my doodles... I'm in awe
...Did it ever occur to anti-Lokeans that Loki unalived Baldr as revenge for what Odin did to his and 'Boda's children? The vast majority of Loki's tricks were harmless up until that point. Js

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UPG
Content: I was talking to some friends about some new words we have heard from our deities before, and explaining my UPG experience with Thanatos and how Thanatos has helped me with my Greek. So I asked Thanatos if there is anything new if wishes to tell me.
Me: Thanatos what other words did you tell me before?â
Thanatos: âá˝Î´ĎĎ (hĂşdĹr)â
Me: âthatâs a new one⌠what does it mean?â
Thanatos: âit means water, which you didnât drink enough of todayâ
Me: âoh-â
Hi! Want to do the Lord a favor?
Found this witch using AI. So we are asking you to block or report them; your choice.
There is no such thing as a 'sole priestess' OR priest. Their entitlement appalls me.
This is a repost. Ignore this if you've already done it. :)